I know you didn't like the trip to the vet, but lump removal was necessary, as were the removal of the two teeth you cracked (probably on your sister's head - thank heavens she's thick-skulled).
You came home with six stitches on your side, and in a cone of shame that we were supposed to keep on you for 12-14 days. Not 2-4 hours. Even woozy it seems that you can happily untie knots, but when we went to sleep last night you were still, reluctantly, in your repeatedly re-tied collar.
I opened my eyes this morning to a proud cat displaying his very bare neck to me and purring. In the last hour, I have discovered your two methods of removal. Your first method (front paw on collar to hold it down, back paw pushes tab through slot and undoes it) was ingenious, but your second method of removal is not one we can stop without removing your head.
1) Stick head through bannisters.
2) Twist to compress and wedge collar
3) Pull head back and leave collar there.
Please remember cats are officially not tool users. I have given up on my futile attempts to keep this on you, and can only thank goodness that you appear to be too smart to chew your stitches.
Yes I am watching you like a hawk. And no, you are still not going outside.
Mummy (still watching you)
P.S. I can't tie it any tighter without strangling you!