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  • October 19, 2017, 11:12:39 PM

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Author Topic: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat  (Read 636772 times)

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stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1635 on: June 10, 2014, 09:39:17 AM »
Dear Leo,

I know you and your sister were abandoned when you were very little and had to fend for yourselves before adopting us.  But we feed you.  Every day.  So please stop killing birds.  You are making your human daddy very sad as he loves birds and has to clean up whatever mess you leave behind.  If you don't stop, you are getting a bell.

Love,
The one who feeds you and has to listen to your other human be very upset

magicdomino

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1636 on: June 10, 2014, 10:27:52 AM »
Dear Leo,

Let your human put the bell on you.  Stalking without ringing the bell adds an enjoyable challenge to the hunt.  If you are good enough to make your human think you need one, you are good enough to work around it.

You are good enough, aren't you?

Respectfully,

The ghosts of Klyde and Jessica, both hunters most excellent.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1637 on: June 10, 2014, 10:31:31 AM »
FYI - hunger has very little to do with whether or not a cat is a good hunter/has predatory instincts.  Leo is just a good hunter.  My Mom always said that the best mousers were well fed.

So a bell on Leo may help, as will having multiple feeders so if Leo is staking out one feeder, the birds can go to another.  It helped somewhat with the hunter we had growing up.  He'd still catch birds but at least they had a fighting chance.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Ms_Cellany

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1638 on: June 10, 2014, 01:54:12 PM »
Decapitated sparrow on driveway.

Thanks, Paddy.

Bingle bongle dingle dangle yickity-do yickity-dah ping-pong lippy-toppy too tah.

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1639 on: June 10, 2014, 02:15:02 PM »
Dear Lynx the kitten,

You are confused.  I am NOT THE MAMA.  While I technically have the equipment, it is not going to dispense milk to you.  Continuing to try and bite me there is just going to get you smacked.  You ignored your actual mama letting your brothers nurse in order to come over and investigate my chest area - thank goodness I was dressed that time.  You have the worst case of smart-but-stupid I've ever seen in a cat.

Love,
The human who is not your mother.  Let me repeat:  not your mother.

Celany

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1640 on: June 11, 2014, 09:14:22 AM »
Dear Kittenface,

When your big brother, The ShyGuy, barfs on the floor (as he often does), please do not knock the throw pillows off of the sofa to cover the barf with them. This does not do anybody a favor, and it makes your mom really unhappy when she now has to clean up both the floor and the pillow.

If you really want to be helpful, learn to use paper towels and the white vinegar spray to clean it up.

Much love,
Celany
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine

greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1641 on: June 11, 2014, 09:48:13 AM »
Dear kittens,

I was very displeased this morning to be awakened by Princess yelling at you because you idiots were playing the "I'm not touching you!" game with her.  She doesn't like you.  Leave her alone.

Dear Princess,

Be less of a grumpy cat and just ignore the kittens?  For once in your life?

Love,

Not-a-morning-person

peach2play

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1642 on: June 11, 2014, 12:03:33 PM »
Dear Leo,

I know you and your sister were abandoned when you were very little and had to fend for yourselves before adopting us.  But we feed you.  Every day.  So please stop killing birds.  You are making your human daddy very sad as he loves birds and has to clean up whatever mess you leave behind.  If you don't stop, you are getting a bell.

Love,
The one who feeds you and has to listen to your other human be very upset

Dear Daddy,

It's not about food, we like to hunt for sport. 

Love,
Your kitty

stargazer

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1643 on: June 11, 2014, 01:45:39 PM »
Dear Leo,

I know you and your sister were abandoned when you were very little and had to fend for yourselves before adopting us.  But we feed you.  Every day.  So please stop killing birds.  You are making your human daddy very sad as he loves birds and has to clean up whatever mess you leave behind.  If you don't stop, you are getting a bell.

Love,
The one who feeds you and has to listen to your other human be very upset

Dear Daddy,

It's not about food, we like to hunt for sport. 

Love,
Your kitty

Sigh.  We know.  We even took down the bird feeder we had up.  We can only figure these are some stupid birds or he is just REALLY good.  It would be nice if he wouldn't leave them in pieces for us.

Tea Drinker

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1644 on: June 11, 2014, 02:42:00 PM »
Dear Lynx the kitten,

You are confused.  I am NOT THE MAMA.  While I technically have the equipment, it is not going to dispense milk to you.  Continuing to try and bite me there is just going to get you smacked.  You ignored your actual mama letting your brothers nurse in order to come over and investigate my chest area - thank goodness I was dressed that time.  You have the worst case of smart-but-stupid I've ever seen in a cat.

Love,
The human who is not your mother.  Let me repeat:  not your mother.

Our cat Julian is firmly convinced that my husband is his mother. He doesn't even technically have the equipment except in the sense that he's a mammal and has nipples.

We got this cat when he was an adolescent and as far as we know long-weaned. Ten years later, he still snuggles up to my husband's chest, kneads his belly, and attempts to nurse. We have given up on his learning otherwise.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

PastryGoddess

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1645 on: June 11, 2014, 04:15:46 PM »
I have a cat with three legs.  She still insists on using the leg she doesn't have to hide her mess in the litter box.  What's funny is if I catch her, I will say "other leg" and she'll switch to using the leg she still has to scatter the litter.

Nikko-chan

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1646 on: June 11, 2014, 06:48:14 PM »
Dear Ciaran,

Sorry you were outside in the rain for a bit, but I thought you took cover inside the garage. Instead I find you taking cover under the porch swing. Thank you for not scratching me when I came out to rescue you. Also, you should have stayed put, your grandmother had a towel ready to dry you off with, scamp.

Love,

Your mama

songbird

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1647 on: June 11, 2014, 07:19:52 PM »
Dear Redford,

Chipmunks are our friends, not toys.  The way you play with them, they all wind up dying of fright.  I suspect there is a "wanted" poster with your face on it in the chipmunk post office.


greencat

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1648 on: June 12, 2014, 01:11:14 AM »
Dear Bravery kitten,
The order is "present belly for rubs.  Wait for hoomin to fall for it and rub your belly.  Capture the offending hand and chew and bunny kick!"
You are doing it backwards - capturing the hand and then stretching out for belly rubs when the hand is right there is just poor sport.

Love,

The adult cats, who are ashamed of you.

Ed. Note:  I greatly prefer this practice over the usual.  Bravery can have all the belly rubs he will lay still for, or until my hand gets tired.

atirial

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Re: S/O Dear Dog...Dear Cat
« Reply #1649 on: June 12, 2014, 03:48:47 AM »
Dear Stephen,

What exactly did you do at the vet? When you went back for the checkup the nurses and surgeon were greeting you by name, taking a paw, and saying goodbye to you. We know the surgeon said you were a hit with the nurses, but "He's such a teddy bear" was not a phrase I expected to hear from a medical professional, far less your enthusiastic greeting of them with huge purrs and headbutts, and certainly not you trying to curl up and fall asleep on one's lap during the examination. You're 7.5 kilos!

Did you spend every moment you weren't under anaesthetic flirting?

Regards,
Mummy (who is very, very happy the vets are so fond of you)