More facebook questions

[kennedar]

I have a teenage cousin that I am friends with on facebook. As much as I love him, at this point in his life I don't really like him because he is the mean kid in his high school. Recently I have begun to see some things pop up on his facebook page that really offend me. I keep getting those suggestions on the side of my home page to join groups that he is in and there have been a number of very offensive ones. There was the "(name of kid I dont remember) is a h*mo and should die" group, the "shut up dumb b*tches" group and the "(name) is a dirty wh*re" group.

I have been reporting these groups to facebook, because I am pretty sure that they violate the terms of facebook, but my question is, should I say anything to my cousin or my aunt/uncle about this? His sister went through a similar phase in high school and is now a wonderful young woman, so I hope that he will grow up and get over this. But I feel truly bad for the kids that are the target of these groups, because when I was in high school I was the kid that everyone made fun of. What is the right thing to do?

[Mahdoumi]

You did the right thing by the kids getting picked on on Facebook by reporting the sites.  I would delete him as a friend without a word to anyone.  If he asks (bet he's got 854 friends and won't notice, anyway), you can tell him exactly what you posted here.  Here's hoping he follows in his sister's footsteps.  And soon!

[kherbert05]

Would your oppinion matter enough to him to change his behavior - Yes tell him off No go to parents

Will the parents parent or just blow it off - yes they will parent go to the parents No

Continue to report to face book and forward screen shots to his HS principal. Hopefully they will come down like a ton of bricks before the victims press criminal charges. (I strongly recommend pressing criminal charges agianst bullies the first time they break the law and every time after that. If it "ruins" their lives so be it they and their parents deserve all the hell that they get. The victims did nothing and do not deserve to be harassed and assaulted for going to school.  

Yes I was the victim of bullies, at least one went to prison as an adult for what he was trying to do to me in school. If we had pressed charges earlier when he was making threats maybe other women would not have been r@ped by the sick jerk.

[Mahdoumi]

Would your oppinion matter enough to him to change his behavior - Yes tell him off No go to parents

Will the parents parent or just blow it off - yes they will parent go to the parents No

Continue to report to face book and forward screen shots to his HS principal. Hopefully they will come down like a ton of bricks before the victims press criminal charges. (I strongly recommend pressing criminal charges agianst bullies the first time they break the law and every time after that. If it "ruins" their lives so be it they and their parents deserve all the hell that they get. The victims did nothing and do not deserve to be harassed and assaulted for going to school.  

Yes I was the victim of bullies, at least one went to prison as an adult for what he was trying to do to me in school. If we had pressed charges earlier when he was making threats maybe other women would not have been r@ped by the sick jerk.

Oh my goodness!  Good point about reporting the sites to the principal of the school!  EXCELLENT point!

[kennedar]

I did not think about going to the principle. That might be a better idea, his parents will probably blow it off until he does something really bad. They are good people, just a little blind when it comes to their kids. It took their daughter doing a drive along (is that what its called?) with her police officer uncle before she smartened up. The son has been the class bully since grade school. I just want to do the right thing by my cousin and the kids that are getting bullied.

[DottyG]

He's saying people should die? And, you're not reporting this to someone who can stop him?

Frankly, your story scares me.

[Fluffy Cat]

There was the "(name of kid I dont remember) is a h*mo and should die" group, the "shut up dumb b*tches" group and the "(name) is a dirty wh*re" group.

I don't say this very often, but this is very worrying to me.  This is IMO is not typical bullying behavior.  I had a really rough time with being bullied in school and I never experienced anything like this.  If it was something more harmless like cursing on his page, or mildly insulting people, I'd probably just tell you to keep an eye on it.  As it is, I think you need to speak to his parents, and his principal (presuming these groups are directed at schoolmates). If it was just your cousin, I wouldn't necessarily suggest going to the principal so quickly, but presumably there are other classmates joining/creating these groups and that increases the scope of the problem.  

Please understand that I am not saying your cousin is some terrible person in general, or that he won't grow out of this, but this seems to be outside the norm for teenage behavior.  Its bordering on the potential for violence (not just your nephew - his friends who participate in these groups as well). Additionally, thank you for reporting these groups to facebook.

Edited because its "cousin" not "nephew"

[kennedar]

Ok so I googled the name of the kid in one group, the one that he said should die, and its a Canadian musician which explains how there were 15,000 people who all believed it. I think his name was Justin Bieber or something of the sort.

I brought this all up with my mom when I saw her last night, and she is going to talk to his mom about it. I feel better with that because they are friends and my aunt will take it better from mom than from me. I am also going to forward the group about the girl to his school. There isnt much that I can do about the group that hates women, other than keep reporting it to facebook.

I think with him it is truly teenage bullying, but I also cant ignore it. Thankfully my mom agrees and I think my aunt will be receptive if it comes from her.