Tales from the Crypt ( ohhhh I mean FreeCycle )

[DottyG]

I agree with Surianne. The lady's not holding a gun to your head. She's just saying she's trying to find a mower if anyone has one and wanted to get rid of it.

I don't see her as a "charity case" at all and wonder how the heck the people on FreeCycle are seeing that.

Give your stuff to whomever you want to. But, if people aren't allowed to post that they're also looking for an item, maybe that function should be disabled/prohibited.

She's considered a charity case because she didn't just post that she could use a lawnmower she posted that she was too poor to be able to afford a lawnmower.

We may have to agree to disagree. Because, frankly, I see that as pretty nitpicky. I guess Freecycle isn't the kind of group I thought it was if this is how people are treated. I always thought it was just a group of people that gave and received as needed.  It seems like it's kinda unfriendly the way y'all describe it.

[Sophia]

I am sometimes put off by what people ask for, like an iPhone with power cord, etc.

[POF]

I agree with Surianne. The lady's not holding a gun to your head. She's just saying she's trying to find a mower if anyone has one and wanted to get rid of it.

I don't see her as a "charity case" at all and wonder how the heck the people on FreeCycle are seeing that.

Give your stuff to whomever you want to. But, if people aren't allowed to post that they're also looking for an item, maybe that function should be disabled/prohibited.

She's considered a charity case because she didn't just post that she could use a lawnmower she posted that she was too poor to be able to afford a lawnmower.

We may have to agree to disagree. Because, frankly, I see that as pretty nitpicky. I guess Freecycle isn't the kind of group I thought it was if this is how people are treated. I always thought it was just a group of people that gave and received as needed.  It seems like it's kinda unfriendly the way y'all describe it.

Frankly I don't think that's a very nice or fair thing to say. I am not sure it even qualifies as an interesting assumption. I have freecycled for years and for the most part I think people are very friendly. I take the time to list an item and coordinate with someone to pick it up. I love passing on things others can use. Otherwise - I would sell it or dump it. 

I see lots of requests - and I do not think that a lawn mower per se is a unreasonable request ..... however, I to find the " Oh I can't afford it " thing to be off putting. 

[mikeylou]

We may have to agree to disagree. Because, frankly, I see that as pretty nitpicky. I guess Freecycle isn't the kind of group I thought it was if this is how people are treated. I always thought it was just a group of people that gave and received as needed.  It seems like it's kinda unfriendly the way y'all describe it.

It depends on your group's vibe, to be honest.  

The whole deal with the sobs is that at one point on one of my old groups, we had a "sob off" where people were trying to tug the heart strings harder than the previous person in order for for their wanted to be considered.  That's why we went to "No personal information - just ask".

It's basically a given at this point that everyone has tightened their belt and many somewhat necessities are no longer affordable.  To state so on a list designed to merely keep items out of a landfill so that you are considered "the most" causes resentment amongst others.

[GirlyGirl]

We gave away a couple of household items on Freecycle this week.  Our local group requires that the person giving stuff away post their general location, so people know where they'd be picking it up.  I specified in the post that the items would need to be picked up.

One woman requested both items, and included her location.  I really wanted to write back to her and ask why she thought I needed her location.  Instead, I just chose someone else.

[DottyG]

POF, I'm sorry if it came across as rude.

But, I truly am bewildered why the phrasing I gave earlier (I'm on my phone, so I can't quote easily) would be seen as a charity case. And, my point was that, if this is how FC works, it really is quite a different feel than I'd always assumed it was. Maybe your group wouldn't do this to someone. And, if not, your group may be more in line with what I thought FC is. I do hope your group is what I thought of! Would restore my faith in the generous nature of the concept. I'd sure like to not think of FC as nitpickyish!



 

[VorFemme]

I quit getting the local Freecycle posts to my email box because I was tired of wading through the "I'm pregnant, out of work, getting a divorce, etc." then asking for an entire nursery set up as well as anything else that they thought might be floating around needing a new home.

It was the "poor, poor, pitiful me - give me everything you don't need" vibe........

I have heard of people who got a new (was it a vacuum cleaner or a fridge?) posting it only to have the person asking want the NEW one and the person who contacted them telling them that they should keep the older model and offer the new one on Freecycle because they were being - well, just leave it at the person emailing them was more deserving of the NEW item than they were and they should just hand it over and thank the universe for giving them the chance to be such wonderful, giving people.

I think that they mentioned that when they replaced the rest of the old kitchen appliances that they called a charity to come pick them up instead of posting them to Freecycle.  The NEW item being demanded instead of the poster asking about pi9cking up the older one that was offered (not that old and still worked just fine) rather turned them off.

Can't say that I blame them, either.

[POF]

Well it is nitpicky in a way - I posted some Disney Mix Sticks with a bunch of accessories. I got 15 responses from folks who wanted them. I had to choose somehow.  Auto Responders ... or people who do not follow my instructions - I delete.

People who seem pushy ....... I delete. People who want everything ( I had 8 offers I posted this week ) - I delete. So I have to have some decision making process to winnow it down. I do not take the first person - because I like to give anyone who is interested a chance to respond.

I also have had 3 people send me written thank you notes. These were for bigger items. That I probably could have sold - but I just wanted them gone. I've also had some really nice people send me thnk you EMAILS.

We have a list of these and one young family  - we EMAIL them first to see if they need any stuff.  So - for some people - the sob stories are part of the decision making process. In some groups - it becomes a contest to see how sad you sound in order to get the items. Several of the items I have recycled went to people of solid financial means. I had some old bikes only good for parts - a guy who does metal work took them.  A nice couple took our old XMAS to put in their kids playroom for XMAS.

I think where peole get confused at times is that it is not a benevolent organization - it's really a green organization. I've had people come get old stuff for school plays and projects - in fact it's quite common to post requests for that kind of thing in my area.

[VorFemme]

When we moved to Houston, I had two wool coats (previously lived in Kentucky).  I knew that I was NOT going to need the heavier one. 

A woman posted about getting a divorce and relocating to a Northern state (known for snow and wind).  She was ASKING for winter clothing for her children.  I didn't have any kids that age - but I did have a winter coat that would work nicely that might fit her. 

I don't know what she ended up getting for her kids - but I like to think that she was warm and stayed healthier while looking for a job in the new area.

[blarg314]

Maybe FreeCycle is more cynical than I thought?

If you don't start out that way, getting rid of stuff on FreeCycle will make you cynical.

A very common tactic is to post  wanted request for something, attached to a tale of woe involving the posters personal life and financial situation. Sometimes the request is for something pretty expensive - people asking for a reliable running car, for example, or are extremely detailed (wanted: one couch. No scuffs or tears, must be green or blue, non-smoking home only). After you've seen a few hundred of these, your response is more along the lines of "Yeah, right" than "Oh, that poor person".  The sob story routine is commonly used when responding to ads, often in an attempt to get precedence in receiving goods.

[Slartibartfast]

I'm a moderator on my local Freecycle group.  I'm absolutely tearing my hair out about this - it's just me and two other mods, and the head moderator IS one of the sob stories.  (Boo hoo, I'm a starving student and a grandmother and I have cancer and my husband left me and my four dogs all just died and I lost my job.  No, I'm not exaggerating - she has stated all of these things in the last few months.)  The other moderator just approves everything that comes through the queue, no matter what, although she does occasionally edit them so they have the correct format.

As a result, our group used to have a rule about "one wanted per week" but we have no way to enforce it unless it's obvious someone is posting a bunch in a row.  But we took that out, because "what if someone really, really needs these things?"  We finally had someone a few weeks ago post eleven (!) "wanted"s for big-ticket items, and we had several angry posts from regulars in the group.  I was mad, too - yes, you can post that you need a washer and dryer and fridge and sofa and king-size bed and a full nursery set and umpty-gazillion other things, but at least have the decency to make your ONE post say "Wanted: lots of stuff" and put it all in one place.

After all the backlash, the other two moderators let me post a revision of the rules.  Now we still have no limit on "wanted" posts, but the moderators can reject wanteds for big-ticket items (specifically cars and gaming systems) and can reject people who apply to the group saying "I'm poor and I heard I can get free stuff here."  It's only going to get worse as we get closer to Christmas and people start turning to Freecycle to supply the gifts for their children.  ("I need NEW toys for a girl age 8 and a boy age 10 - video games would be great thx!")

[Harriet Jones]

POF, I'm sorry if it came across as rude.

But, I truly am bewildered why the phrasing I gave earlier (I'm on my phone, so I can't quote easily) would be seen as a charity case. And, my point was that, if this is how FC works, it really is quite a different feel than I'd always assumed it was. Maybe your group wouldn't do this to someone. And, if not, your group may be more in line with what I thought FC is. I do hope your group is what I thought of! Would restore my faith in the generous nature of the concept. I'd sure like to not think of FC as nitpickyish!

 
Freecycle is not a email-list of friends, there's no chat, only offers and wants).  Many groups have thousands of postings daily  It's really best to keep the emails short and to the point.  No one wants to read bajillions of "I need this because my life is worse than yours" emails.    The lawnmower lady's email may not have been that egregious, but it might have come across like "give me something because I planned poorly".    

[Minmom3]

Today a lady posted she wanted lawnmower b/c she moved into her first house and can't afford to buy one.  Yard services are inexpensive here - around $35 for the whole yard.  You normally need it done every two weeks until the middle of November.

Who buys a house and can't figure into a few hundred dollars for a lawn mower?  In our area, you mow from the middle of March until November.  

I know the neighborhood she lives in and its new construction.  None of the houses are up for sale and its too early for foreclosures.

I've never done FreeCycle, but I thought that was the whole idea.  That people who wanted to get rid of stuff could post it and get rid of it.  And, people who needed stuff could post and maybe get something that someone would have thrown away.

I don't understand why her posting that is such a bad thing.  If someone has a mower that they don't want, what does it hurt for her to put the word out that she'd be willing to take it?  It's not like she was begging people for their property - just putting a bug in the ear that she's in the market if anyone has one.

I'm confused on how speculating on her income - or how she could afford the house -  fits into this.  

The Freecycle rules I've seen all state that you must post Offers before you post Wanteds. So, I gave away a 12 foot trampoline before I asked for baby gates.  It's considered rude and greedy to ask for stuff before you've given stuff away.  Posted as such in the rules too, not just assumptions in the culture.  Rules you have to accept before they let you post anything at all.  

[Azrail]

Just posting for the updates. I just joined freecycle, but have no stories yet.

[mindyourmanners]

My experiences were a long time ago and havent yet had a good one with freecycle.

I posted that I had some misc furniture and household stuff from my garage sale.

My only stipulation was that you had to be able to pick it up on a certain day (all of it not just pick and choose go through the boxs and leave it on my lawn...been there done that before) and that you needed to have someone to help you move it, and a truck to drive it home.

I had a lady show up, she complained that the furniture was the 'wrong' color, and wanted me to hold it while she "thought about it", wanted to go through the boxs because she was "too old" to be packing them all in the car (note: no truck to haul furniture) and then gave me a sob story and wanted my dh to load, deliver and unload all this stuff to her at her house.

What do you say? I just told her she had 24 hours to come back and get it or it was going to the next person that wanted it and could meet the stipulations.
She came back next day w/ her son and his truck, he still needed dh's help to load.
The lady even had the nerve to fuss that my dh would not 'follow the truck ' so he could help unload w/ her son at her house!

I said...nope never again and have stayed away from freecycle. If I have something I put it out at the curb a day or two before trash day....someone always takes it and if they don't then the trash men do.