Tales from the Crypt ( ohhhh I mean FreeCycle )

[Ceallach]

POF, I'm sorry if it came across as rude.

But, I truly am bewildered why the phrasing I gave earlier (I'm on my phone, so I can't quote easily) would be seen as a charity case. And, my point was that, if this is how FC works, it really is quite a different feel than I'd always assumed it was. Maybe your group wouldn't do this to someone. And, if not, your group may be more in line with what I thought FC is. I do hope your group is what I thought of! Would restore my faith in the generous nature of the concept. I'd sure like to not think of FC as nitpickyish!
 

I'm with DottyG on this.   I understand that there are people on freecycle who are dishonest freeloaders, and it must get annoying to sift through the sob stories.   But I don't think it's a charity case or greedy to state what you need, particularly with the example given, which was information for people who may have that particular item to dispose of, and are deciding who to give it to. And I don't think it's relevant where the requester lives, or how much money that they have (or how much you speculate that they have), because surely the recycling aspect is important regardless of that fact.   

But I'm sure that most people on freecycle are friendly and would not jump to that conclusion a person without good reason, or a history of sob stories/rule breaking etc.   

[LadyJaneinMD]

POF, I'm sorry if it came across as rude.

But, I truly am bewildered why the phrasing I gave earlier (I'm on my phone, so I can't quote easily) would be seen as a charity case. And, my point was that, if this is how FC works, it really is quite a different feel than I'd always assumed it was. Maybe your group wouldn't do this to someone. And, if not, your group may be more in line with what I thought FC is. I do hope your group is what I thought of! Would restore my faith in the generous nature of the concept. I'd sure like to not think of FC as nitpickyish!

In one of the ADMINS that I sent out, I love this phrase:

Freecycle is not a charity, although the end result is often the same.

Basically, the beauty of Freecycle is that you do not need to justify why you want an item. Just ask. Sometimes it makes another person think, 'Oh wait, I have one of those in the garage that I haven't used in years!'  Sometimes it does nothing, but it never hurts to ask.  I have seen all sorts of things passed around in the years that I have been with Freecycle.  There have been good and bad experiences, but overall, it's a positive thing.  I've managed to unload a lot of stuff that I didn't need, while picking up more stuff that I did need!  Some nice stuff, too. 

The one thing that always makes me wonder, though, are the women who post that 'I'm due in 2 weeks and I have NOTHING for the baby!'   Uh...okay, so you just woke up from a coma and found yourself 8 1/2 months pregnant?  Is that how it works?  Oh well.....Freecycle is great for baby things, which can go through 8 or 10 children before they're worn out. 

It's Freecycle.  It's beautiful.  Just remember one thing - the people who post wanted after wanted really *do* get something. They get a reputation. 

[LadyJaneinMD]

The Freecycle rules I've seen all state that you must post Offers before you post Wanteds. So, I gave away a 12 foot trampoline before I asked for baby gates.  It's considered rude and greedy to ask for stuff before you've given stuff away.  Posted as such in the rules too, not just assumptions in the culture.  Rules you have to accept before they let you post anything at all.  

No, there is no RULE that you must post an offer before you can post a wanted.  That's been discussed over and over on the modsquad list, and making that requirement could lose Freecycle its 501c status.
There is no rule, and nobody should be requiring it. If your list does, report your moderators to the GOA, whose email is always 'statename@freecycle.org'   Ex. maryland@freecycle.org

[Hushabye]

Today a lady posted she wanted lawnmower b/c she moved into her first house and can't afford to buy one.  Yard services are inexpensive here - around $35 for the whole yard.  You normally need it done every two weeks until the middle of November.

Who buys a house and can't figure into a few hundred dollars for a lawn mower?  In our area, you mow from the middle of March until November. 

I know the neighborhood she lives in and its new construction.  None of the houses are up for sale and its too early for foreclosures.

That would be us.  A riding mower simply isn't in the cards for us right now, although we could use one with an acre to mow.  We just got lucky in that mowers just went on sale here, so we picked up a really cheap push mower, and DH does the yard in stages.  The reasoning that "you can afford X; therefore, you can also afford Y" just doesn't follow.

That said, it probably would have been better for her not to post that, but she may be new to Freecycle and hasn't figured it out yet.  If someone doesn't want to give her a mower, that's his/her prerogative.  No harm, no foul.  But speculating on her finances is presumptive.

[ShieldMaiden]

Today a lady posted she wanted lawnmower b/c she moved into her first house and can't afford to buy one.  Yard services are inexpensive here - around $35 for the whole yard.  You normally need it done every two weeks until the middle of November.

Who buys a house and can't figure into a few hundred dollars for a lawn mower?  In our area, you mow from the middle of March until November. 

I know the neighborhood she lives in and its new construction.  None of the houses are up for sale and its too early for foreclosures.

That would be us.  A riding mower simply isn't in the cards for us right now, although we could use one with an acre to mow.  We just got lucky in that mowers just went on sale here, so we picked up a really cheap push mower, and DH does the yard in stages.  The reasoning that "you can afford X; therefore, you can also afford Y" just doesn't follow.

That said, it probably would have been better for her not to post that, but she may be new to Freecycle and hasn't figured it out yet.  If someone doesn't want to give her a mower, that's his/her prerogative.  No harm, no foul.  But speculating on her finances is presumptive.

We managed to run into this problem as well.  My father gave us his old mower, but it broke and would cost several hundred dollars to fix it.  We had just dropped several thousand dollars to fix up the interior of the house and it was a toss up between eating that month or getting a lawn mower.

Luckily, our new next door neighbors noticed our grass was getting a bit tall (it was OK in the front but the back yard--which was hidden behind a privacy fence--was a jungle) and as he owns a landscaping business offered to mow it for us with his nice equipment while we waited for our lawn mower.  We are eternally grateful.

[Bethalize]

We may have to agree to disagree. Because, frankly, I see that as pretty nitpicky. I guess Freecycle isn't the kind of group I thought it was if this is how people are treated. I always thought it was just a group of people that gave and received as needed.  It seems like it's kinda unfriendly the way y'all describe it.

I think it's more that Freecycle is for anyone to ask and to offer. Freecyclers don't approve of posters trying to manipulate people through guilt or assert that they are somehow more deserving than everyone else. There shouldn't be any element of "deserve" in Freecycle. If one person starts trying to influence things then it escalates.

[dragonflies]

About the mower lady - she said that she was a single mom - maybe I am tired of the single mom line -

Yes its a about recycling items that would otherwise go into a landfill.  If you start out your post "I can't afford" or "I am a single mom" -   I would just rather the post be I in need of a lawnmower.

[DottyG]

The reasoning that "you can afford X; therefore, you can also afford Y" just doesn't follow....But speculating on her finances is presumptive.

Exactly. I think that's the part of that post that got my hackles up.  We all know that it's rude to speculate on someone's finances.  Yet, it's ok if it's on Freecycle?  That just seemed wrong to me.  If it's rude elsewhere, it's rude when dealing with someone you encounter on FC as well.

[Sophia]

But, people can be annoyed by it.  And, I think the worry is that it's the people like MindYourManners who will give up on freecycle if it isn't curbed. 

There is another thing that annoys me a little and no one else has mentioned.  It is LawnMowerGirl's assumption that there are two options:  New or Free.  I bought a used one.  It worked great.  My dad knew an old guy who garbage picked lawnmowers, repaired them and sold them.  I got the cute redhead who used to live in the neighborhood discount of $5, I suspect it normally would have $30.  But, for people that don't know a nice old man, there is greensheet or ebay.  Who doesn't know of ebay?  Just sort by distance from your house.  There are used ones cheap for pickup. 

I seem to live in an area with a nice freecycle group or good mods or lots of people cleaning out their storage.  My only problem has been people that ask for stuff and you never hear from them again. 

[DottyG]

There is another thing that annoys me a little and no one else has mentioned.  It is LawnMowerGirl's assumption that there are two options:  New or Free.  I bought a used one.  It worked great.

Actually, I see that more as your assumption that she isn't just trying all leads to find a mower.  How are you so sure that she's not looking around for a used one at the same time she's posting on FC.  And, whichever one pans out is the one that works.

If I were looking for something like that, I would probably try as many avenues as I could.  And, if FC were one of the ones that I were used to using, it would be one of the avenues I tried as well.

And, yes.  You can be annoyed by something.  But, it doesn't mean that it's not rude to voice it.  Speculating on someone's finances is rude to do.

[MommyPenguin]

Wow, it's sad that there are so many people who have been burned by Freecycle.  I generally love it!  There are some sob stories, but our Freecycle rules state that you don't have to follow any specified rule for who you choose to give your item to.  It can be the first response, the last response, the person who wrote the nicest email, had the cutest signature, had a cute story about how they'll use the item, etc.  So it's not usually a problem to ignore the sob stories, and I haven't seen many of those, either.  I do sometimes see posts where somebody is asking for "any used but working baby equipment, like swings, bassinets, cribs, etc. for a teen mothers program."  It's letting you know that it'll be put to good use, but it doesn't go into a whole sob story or anything.

Since it's getting close to Christmas, one of our mods actually posted something reminding people that Freecycle is not a department store and was not the place to post wish lists.  I think that might have helped to stop some people in their tracks.

[mikeylou]

Since it's getting close to Christmas, one of our mods actually posted something reminding people that Freecycle is not a department store and was not the place to post wish lists.  I think that might have helped to stop some people in their tracks.

To be honest....  It may stop random Joe Schmo who thought it may be a good idea, but it usually doesn't stop the most greedy from trying to post their Christmas lists. 

Oh, and those things need to be new, too!

I can't wait until the Christmas stuff starts here.   With how wanted-heavy we already are, it's gonna be horrible.   Even the "old" group (which is now on SiG) is "low offer volume". 

[dragonflies]

I think here is a BIG difference in starting your post "I am a single mom and can't afford blah blah blah" and "I would like blah".   If you are stating you can't afford something then I think you are opening yourself up to assumptions to a whole city of people.

I give a lot of toys and kid's clothes on Freecycle.  Any poster who responds with a sob story - I delete and then I pick the "winner" from a hat.

After Ike, our mods had to post that Freecycle isn't a charity and I think gave a link to local charities.  I guess it was getting that bad with the Ike sob stories.

[fountainof]

I have to admit the sob stories would bug me too.  I am actually too scared to use any kind of program to give anyway my stuff other than directly with a charity or to people I know.  I mean if you have tons of stuff to get rid of a lot of people may end up knowing who you are and where you live.  What if they are peeved that the tv you gave them broke and a month later come to visit you?  I guess I don't really trust strangers in or around my house.  I would actually be more inclined to drop things at their curb or to meet in a public location like a store parking lot or something.  It seems safer to me.  

I miss the old place I live where you could put things out by the garbage and people would just take them and they didn't really know who put them there unless they saw you.

[mikeylou]

And, yes.  You can be annoyed by something.  But, it doesn't mean that it's not rude to voice it.  Speculating on someone's finances is rude to do.

What about "putting it all out there" as a way to justify what you need?  I so could cut and paste some wanteds.  Some of them are...  Let's just say I know too much about some people.  If it's even true.      

When it comes down to it, some groups go "no personal information", even as small as the "i cannot afford it" because of the abuse other members have done.  It has to do with enforcing rules b/c if "Betty" sees that little spec of personal info, she will do one of two things - ream the mods out b/c so and so is allowed to post personal info and she isn't or just go back to writing the 'tuggers.

Dotty, people aren't jaded automatically.  We become that way by what we see.

"I need carpet and throw rugs for my garage playroom as it's a cement floor and due to health issues I was unable to finish it properly b/c we are now broke."

See enough of that and you just roll your eyes whenever someone says they cannot afford something.  It's not really a matter of speculating, it's a matter of seeing so much panhandling on the list that you can't believe the brass ones people have.

I think here is a BIG difference in starting your post "I am a single mom and can't afford blah blah blah" and "I would like blah".   If you are stating you can't afford something then I think you are opening yourself up to assumptions to a whole city of people.

And dragonflies has it in a nutshell.