Author Topic: Rude/offensive blog?  (Read 5594 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

MrsO

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9680
Rude/offensive blog?
« on: October 22, 2009, 02:19:14 PM »
Someone on my Facebook has just started writing a blog. They posted a link to it in their status on Facebook, and invited people to comment on it. I feel like their really actually quite offensive and rude, as it's basically saying 'Anyone who believes in XXXX is an idiot, stupid, has no common sense, but I won't judge you for believing in it' (I'm paraphrasing, btw) Ummm...you just did. Also, he compares believing in God to Racism, in the sense that they're both stupid  ??? . I'm practically sitting on my hands to stop me from replying to this- I don't think I could trust myself to remain polite. Is it just me, or is this rude? I don't have to read it (and in future, I won't) but to post a link on Facebook and inviting people to read it, I just felt it was really rude to the people who DO believe in those things and who are going to read it (like me. This guy attended my wedding in a catholic church).
Ahh, I don't know. Am I too easily offended?

MrsJWine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8531
  • I have an excessive fondness for parentheses.
    • Wallydraigle
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #1 on: October 22, 2009, 02:29:18 PM »
I don't think the rudeness is in posting it to Facebook, but in not being transparent about the kind of blog it is.  If he'd said, "Hey, come see my ranty blog about politics!" or whatever, that'd be one thing.  But usually when someone says, "Check out my blog," I assume it's a regular old personal blog.

And I think, even in your "private" corner of the Internet, you can still be rude.  If I'm in my own home, and I insult people who come to visit, it's rude.  I may have the right to be insulting and rude, but I'm still rude.


I have a blog.  I hate that word.


Utah

MrsO

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9680
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2009, 02:30:55 PM »
Yep, I think that's it- he was inviting me to come read how stupid he thinks I am. I wasn't sure whether the fact that I don't really like this guy anyway was clouding my judgement.

BettyDraper

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2327
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2009, 02:36:35 PM »
Yep, I think that's it- he was inviting me to come read how stupid he thinks I am. I wasn't sure whether the fact that I don't really like this guy anyway was clouding my judgement.
Was it a personal invitation to you? Do you feel he was baiting you in some way? Otherwise I don't see the etiquette infraction here.

The Internet is pretty much a "proceed at your own risk" proposition.  If you don't like what you read, just ignore it and don't go there again.  Exercising one's freedom of opinion in a personal blog isn't rude, though the manner of stating such opinions could be. 

ShadesOfGrey

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12682
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #4 on: October 22, 2009, 02:36:37 PM »
Yep, I think that's it- he was inviting me to come read how stupid he thinks I am. I wasn't sure whether the fact that I don't really like this guy anyway was clouding my judgement.

And he's your facebook friend...why?
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

MrsO

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9680
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #5 on: October 22, 2009, 02:40:47 PM »
Yep, I think that's it- he was inviting me to come read how stupid he thinks I am. I wasn't sure whether the fact that I don't really like this guy anyway was clouding my judgement.

And he's your facebook friend...why?
He is a relatives other half. It's be obvious if I deleted him now, and  I really couldn't be bothered getting into it with my family. I think I'm gonna block him from my newseed now, though.

Yep, I think that's it- he was inviting me to come read how stupid he thinks I am. I wasn't sure whether the fact that I don't really like this guy anyway was clouding my judgement.
Was it a personal invitation to you? Do you feel he was baiting you in some way? Otherwise I don't see the etiquette infraction here.

The Internet is pretty much a "proceed at your own risk" proposition.  If you don't like what you read, just ignore it and don't go there again.  Exercising one's freedom of opinion in a personal blog isn't rude, though the manner of stating such opinions could be. 
Well, I feel like he stated them in a rude manner. I guess we disagree on the other part, I felt it was rude as he posted it knowing full well people who believe in what he thinks is 'stupid and idiotic' would read it.

MrsJWine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8531
  • I have an excessive fondness for parentheses.
    • Wallydraigle
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #6 on: October 22, 2009, 02:42:29 PM »
Yep, I think that's it- he was inviting me to come read how stupid he thinks I am. I wasn't sure whether the fact that I don't really like this guy anyway was clouding my judgement.
Was it a personal invitation to you? Do you feel he was baiting you in some way? Otherwise I don't see the etiquette infraction here.

I disagree.  He posted a general link, yes, but it was to his "friends" on Facebook; it wasn't a flier stuck on all the cars in the parking lot.  If a friend of mine posted a link to his own blog and knew that the content would be very insulting to a large number of readers, it would be rude of him not to give at least some hint to the content therein.  If a friend issued a general invitation to his home via Facebook, we would presume he was offering hospitality.  If we arrived to find it was a marketing pitch, we would call that rude.


I have a blog.  I hate that word.


Utah

flo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2454
  • used to be re-moe
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #7 on: October 22, 2009, 02:43:21 PM »
And I think, even in your "private" corner of the Internet, you can still be rude.  If I'm in my own home, and I insult people who come to visit, it's rude.  I may have the right to be insulting and rude, but I'm still rude.

This, exactly!

Tiamet

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2765
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2009, 03:14:01 PM »
I think you should defriend him.  It may be obvious that you have done so, but from what you say, he is well aware you have beliefs that are not compatible with the blog. 

If he chooses to personally insult you (and I assume he knows who is on his friends list), I think withdrawing from the location where this can occur is perfectly justified.  If he or the relative ask why, I'd be inclined to tell them straight out that you don't choose to continue interactions in which your personal beliefs are insulted.

I doubt you are the only person to be offended by this, since belief in a Supreme Being isn't exactly uncommon!

Nurvingiel

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12405
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #9 on: October 22, 2009, 03:17:47 PM »
Yep, I think that's it- he was inviting me to come read how stupid he thinks I am. I wasn't sure whether the fact that I don't really like this guy anyway was clouding my judgement.
I would hide his news updates, or possibly de-friend him.
If I had some ham, I could have ham and eggs, if I had some eggs.

BettyDraper

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2327
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #10 on: October 22, 2009, 04:15:01 PM »
Yep, I think that's it- he was inviting me to come read how stupid he thinks I am. I wasn't sure whether the fact that I don't really like this guy anyway was clouding my judgement.
Was it a personal invitation to you? Do you feel he was baiting you in some way? Otherwise I don't see the etiquette infraction here.

I disagree.  He posted a general link, yes, but it was to his "friends" on Facebook; it wasn't a flier stuck on all the cars in the parking lot.  If a friend of mine posted a link to his own blog and knew that the content would be very insulting to a large number of readers, it would be rude of him not to give at least some hint to the content therein.  If a friend issued a general invitation to his home via Facebook, we would presume he was offering hospitality.  If we arrived to find it was a marketing pitch, we would call that rude.

I don't agree that posting a broadcast message on a social media site is the equivalent of personal correspondence; it's more like a bulletin board.  View at your own risk.

I barely even use Facebook but have over 100 connections with widely divergent political, religious, social etc. beliefs, practices and opinions.  I can't censor my every word or link to avoid a possible affront to a small percentage.  For example, I'm starting a personal finance blog.  If I say "Buying new cars is a ridiculous waste of money," -- should I avoid posting a link to the blog because it might offend my new-car friends, relatives who work for the auto industry, etc.?  Should my former co-worker who hunts not post a pix of himself with a freshly killed deer because it might offend me?  Should I refrain from posting a rave review of the new steakhouse because my vegetarian neighbors will be grossed out? 

Now, if friend forwarded to my personal e-mail a photo of his prey, knowing how I feel, it would be a deliberate slight.  If I sent a snarky political joke directly to the inbox of people who worship the butt of that joke, it would be rude.  But using Facebook or visiting a blog, you're in a roomful of people and can't expect the conversation to be tailored to your tastes.  If it becomes upsetting it's up to you (general you) to bow out, not to expect others to conform to your comfort level.     





MrsO

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9680
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #11 on: October 22, 2009, 04:16:53 PM »
Well, I think that there's a difference between saying 'I think new cars are a waste of money' and 'If you believe xxx, you are an idiot'.

flo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2454
  • used to be re-moe
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #12 on: October 22, 2009, 04:24:00 PM »
It's possible on FB, to invite only people you know would enjoy or agree with your blog to view it.  Inviting everyone with an announcement is lazy at best, especially when you know what you have written is going to be offensive to some of the people you've invited.  At worst, it's insulting without having the nerve to actually be insulting to their face.  That is somehow worse to me.  It would have been simple enough to say I have an antiXXX, antiXXXX blog that some of you may enjoy.  Here's the link.

nyarlathotep

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 683
  • My other blade is Vorpal
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #13 on: October 22, 2009, 04:24:55 PM »
His blog in itself is not rude. But posting it without warning others about the content is.

Well, I think that there's a difference between saying 'I think new cars are a waste of money' and 'If you believe xxx, you are an idiot'.

The leap is not as huge as you'd think.
"I think new cars are a waste of money" -> "I think people who buy new cars are wasting their money" -> "People who buy new cars lack the judgement not to waste money".

At least by saying "people who believe XXX are idiots", he's being honest about his prejudices. Although he was still rude to post the link without a warning.

MrsJWine

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8531
  • I have an excessive fondness for parentheses.
    • Wallydraigle
Re: Rude/offensive blog?
« Reply #14 on: October 22, 2009, 04:33:39 PM »
Yep, I think that's it- he was inviting me to come read how stupid he thinks I am. I wasn't sure whether the fact that I don't really like this guy anyway was clouding my judgement.
Was it a personal invitation to you? Do you feel he was baiting you in some way? Otherwise I don't see the etiquette infraction here.

I disagree.  He posted a general link, yes, but it was to his "friends" on Facebook; it wasn't a flier stuck on all the cars in the parking lot.  If a friend of mine posted a link to his own blog and knew that the content would be very insulting to a large number of readers, it would be rude of him not to give at least some hint to the content therein.  If a friend issued a general invitation to his home via Facebook, we would presume he was offering hospitality.  If we arrived to find it was a marketing pitch, we would call that rude.

I don't agree that posting a broadcast message on a social media site is the equivalent of personal correspondence; it's more like a bulletin board.  View at your own risk.

I barely even use Facebook but have over 100 connections with widely divergent political, religious, social etc. beliefs, practices and opinions.  I can't censor my every word or link to avoid a possible affront to a small percentage.  For example, I'm starting a personal finance blog.  If I say "Buying new cars is a ridiculous waste of money," -- should I avoid posting a link to the blog because it might offend my new-car friends, relatives who work for the auto industry, etc.?  Should my former co-worker who hunts not post a pix of himself with a freshly killed deer because it might offend me?  Should I refrain from posting a rave review of the new steakhouse because my vegetarian neighbors will be grossed out?

They have widely divergent political, religious and social beliefs, exactly; it would be rude for you to post a link to a rant by you discussing how idiotic anyone who believes in God (any god) is.  That's very different from posting reasoned criticism of a financial practice many people engage in.  In MrsO's case, the guy isn't risking offending a small percentage of his friends list simply by disagreeing with them (if they're that sensitive to political and religious discourse, that's their problem); he's risking offending many--if not most--of them (while many people shun organized religion, vast numbers still believe in a god of some sort) by calling them stupid.  

It's not a conversation in a room full of people.  It's a speech made to a room full of people in which half of them are going to be derided.  The people who went to his link thinking they were getting one thing (a regular blog) now know exactly what he thinks of them.  That's the sort of thing, IMO, one ought to be a little more forthright about.

Even on general message boards, people will post warnings like, "NSFW," or, "Warning: political/scary/sad/depressing/religious in nature."


I have a blog.  I hate that word.


Utah