General Etiquette > Techno-quette
Am I being too sensitive? Facebook debate. LONG
HoneyBee:
I could use some outside input on if I am being overly sensitive about this issue. I have thought about this all day, am still upset by it, so I thought I'd get an E-hell opinion. If this is not the appropriate board for this post, moderators please feel free to move it.
BG: DH and I have a friend (Kara) we met when we moved here little over a year ago, who is very sweet. I enjoy her company. She has a very different opinion on many subjects than DH and I do, but that has never been a problem. Diversity is what makes the world go 'round. :) She was EXTREMELY helpful emotionally to me when DH was VERY ill in the hospital in March and April. She provided some specific emotional support that I did not have from any other friends or family. She was also instrumental in planning some events in DH's name, including a blood drive and a fundraiser, all her own ideas. We will be forever grateful for all of her support through this, and I have thanked her in as many ways as I know how! (End BG)
Here is the issue - Kara recently posted a video on her Facebook page regarding a VERY hot topic, which supports her view on the topic. I have a very differing view on the topic. I politely replied to said video, and was very respectful to her in my reply. I basically said: the video is sad, this is a very personal issue, everyone needs to make their own decision on this issue depending on what is right for them. My choice is (this choice) because of (these issues). Again, I was very respectful. And she responded in kind, respectfully as well.
Kara had another friend (Maria) post a reply to the video. Maria shares Kara's views on the topic. Maria shared them in a VERY STRONGLY opinionated way. Kara then replied to Maria that "I'd think you & <your DH> of ALL my friends would be most knowledgeable on this."
I took this comment as insulting to myself, and I am still hurt by it. I have doctorate level training on said topic, and Kara certainly knows this with my profession. I do not know Maria personally, but I know OF her (this is a relatively small town...) and I know what she does for a living. It has nothing to do with said topic. Maria probably knows me and my profession as well. I don't know what her DH does.
I keep trying to tell myself that this is silly, that Kara likely did not mean to insult me with her comment. I am still quite hurt, however. Maria was VERY STRONGLY opinionated, somewhat disrespectful of my opinion, and Kara is supporting her. This truly seemed like a jab at me.
Am I being overly sensitive? If not, should I say something to Kara about how I am hurt? If I say something, what do I say without sounding whiny or petty?
I don't feel that knowing the exact nature of VERY hot topic will help you all in your responses to me. It has the potential to make this thread go in the wrong direction and become locked, which I am trying to avoid. However, if you feel knowing the nature of the topic will be helpful, you are welcome to PM me, and I will give you more information.
ETA: I gave them names to make the situation more clear.
TootsNYC:
I think that, as a policy, no one should let things said on Facebook, especially not about hot topics, influence any real-life relationships.
And in fact, I would urge you to never, never, never comment on hot-topic posts that other people make. You know you disagree, she knows you disagree; nobody SENSIBLE would think that just because you're on one another's "friends" list that you agree in every hot topic.
Treat those sorts of "status updates"/videos/whatever as the spam that I believe they are.
DottyG:
I'm a little lost on who said what. Could you give Friend and Friend's Friend names or something, so it reads more easily?
gollymolly2:
It sounds like this is a wonderful friend who is there for you when you need her. You should just recognize that this is a topic that you will both always be on opposite ends of, and there's no purpose in engaging in a conversation on that topic. It would be one thing if she had come on your wall and brought it up, but since you went on her wall and criticized her beliefs, I don't think you should pursue this any farther.
Nurvingiel:
--- Quote from: HoneyBee on October 25, 2009, 05:29:07 PM ---Kara then replied to Maria that "I'd think you & <your DH> of ALL my friends would be most knowledgeable on this."
--- End quote ---
I'm confused. Why would this hurt your feelings? This was a comment from Kara to Maria. They weren't talking about you.
Do you feel that Kara implied that you were not knowledgeable on this topic? To me, it does not read like that. I see, "Maria, I know you are very interested in this topic so I expect you to be the most knowledgeable out of everyone I know."
Not, "Maria, all my friends except you are knuckledraggers who can barely manage to post a status update." (;))
Sorry for the confusion. I'm not belittling your feelings, I just don't understand.
:)
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