General Etiquette > Techno-quette
Facebook and extremely insensitive people.
MrsJWine:
A friend of mine has just been through a miscarriage that dragged itself out for several days. She thought it was over, and then yesterday afternoon, the rest of it happened. She's in a lot of pain, physically. She says she's doing well emotionally, and I while believe her (she's tough and not prone to lying about such things to look tougher), I'm sure she's still quite fragile emotionally.
Her latest status update says something about just when you think the pain is over, the worst of it hits. One guy wrote something like, "Quit being such a baby. You don't have time to feel sorry for yourself."
My jaw hung open for about five minutes when I saw that. I wanted to hit him. I suppose it's possible he missed the last three status updates that make it clear what's been going on with her, but I dunno. Or it's possible they have some kind of black humor in-joke that I'm unaware of. I think that if I were in her position, and I got that comment, I would not be in a place where I could stick up for myself. I would just feel kicked when I was down. I want to say something--something supportive, but possibly pointed, so she feels like she has someone on her side after such an insensitive comment (and it would be something that wouldn't be terribly harsh, just in case there's something I don't know). But I also don't want to overstep.
Normally I stay out of stuff like this, but this seems like a special case, maybe. What do you think?
ETA: I don't know the guy personally. I may have met him at one of their get-togethers once; he looks a little familiar, but I have no idea who he is or if I've even talked to him. So he's not my friend on Facebook.
Raintree:
Ack...let's hope it's just an in-joke between them. Sure doesn't sound like it though. I'd probably want to say something in the comment section. But instead of something directly to him, something VERY supportive to her, as though his comment doesn't exist, which will point out to him what a jerk he is.
baglady:
Ignore Captain Insensitive's comment and send her a virtual hug (and a real one if you can arrange it). Leave him out of it for now and focus on what *you* can do to support *her*. Hopefully karma will take care of CI.
HonorH:
Write something in her comments to the effect of, "I'm so sorry you're hurting so much. Of course this is hard for you, honey, and remember, you can always talk to me if you need to. I'll always want to help and support you in any way I can."
Captain Insensitive needs a good kick in the teeth. I hope she cuts him from her friends--and her life.
MrsO:
Because I'd hope this was the case, I'd probably give him the benefit of the doubt and send him a private message, just making him aware of what had happened, on the off chance that he had missed it. If he had missed what had happened, he's gonna feel absolutely horrible when he realises, but at least he can delete his comment then, and maybe apologise to your friend.
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