Author Topic: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please  (Read 2808 times)

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Brain Fluff

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Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« on: October 19, 2009, 12:15:06 PM »
I have a guest (FIL to be exact) that flomps down in any chair besides a dinning room chair.

This weekend he flomped down so hard I heard my sofa creek and the things on table behind the sofa wobbled. He has always sat like this, so this isn't a new thing (such as not PA, or health, etc. Its just how he sits down in non-diningroom chairs).

As you can imagine, this is unacceptable to me (and when I brought it to DH's attention because he is so use to it he no longer noticed) and to DH.

We have no idea how to approach him with this issue, and would love some ehell approved responces,please!!

Shoo

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2009, 12:17:36 PM »
This one falls squarely on your husband's shoulders, I think.  He needs to take his dad aside and tell him that your furniture is suffering from the way he allows himself to just fall down on it, and you're worried it's going to break, and you're also worried about what will happen to *him* when it does.


Amava

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2009, 12:28:32 PM »
I am laughing so hard right now, at the mental image. FLOMP - CREAK - wobble.  ;D
I'm sorry. It just struck me as so funny.

Could you perhaps position a small table rather close to the sofa so that one has to sit down carefully in order to not hit the table with one's knees? I know that at my in-laws' house, it would be impossible to flomp down like that because you have to mind where your legs are going when you sit down on the sofa. (Excluding the possibility of taking a flying leap over the back of the sofa and land in it - but surely he wouldn't take it that far? Or would he?  ;D )

Personally, I think the situation would strike me as "humorous at first but getting old really soon when it keeps happening", so I think I would laugh incredulously-astonishedly, and say something like: "FiL, easy does it!" in a light, friendly voice. It would just be my natural, spontaneous reaction.

Brain Fluff

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2009, 11:35:52 AM »
DH doesn't believe that a pre-talking to would help, only make Fil become PA. So we (in case DH isn't in the room when Flomping FIL flomps) are looking for phrasing advice.
If we place a small table in the way of flomping FIL, MIL would not be able to sit next to him, or he would move the table, help her sit them FLOMP-Creak-Wobble...again.

Would it be rude to bring down an older (possible more sturdy) chair that is still comfy for Flomping FIL, or would that be rude? He doesn't like to be touched, so he might actually be more comfy in the chair rather than the loveseat or sofa.

It was astounding at first, but not I'm just  :o >:( because we have to strut our year old sofa.

BettyDraper

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2009, 11:45:41 AM »
This would really irritate me; I give you credit for keeping quiet to date.  (Not just the damage to your belongings, the entire boisterous, attention-seeking nature of his actions is obnoxious.  If he's old enough to be somebody's father in law he's old enough to know that there are more gracious ways of seating oneself.) 

Despite your DH's pessimism, I'd try one gentle talk.  Let him save a little face by blaming it on the sofa.  "FIL, I don't think our furniture is as sturdy as what you are used to.  We just had to have it repaired, right in this area here (indicate if it's where he usually flomps) -- could I ask you to seat yourself gently?"

If he doesn't get it, I'd buy one of those folding nylon camp chairs and set it up in the living room for his visits.  Tell him with a smile that you bought him a special chair that doesn't need careful treatment.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2009, 02:06:03 PM »
I don't think bringing down another chair is rude at all.  I'd mention that you've recently had the sofa repaired and and thought he'd be more comfortable in the chair.  Is your MiL any help?  Could you casually mention to her the fact that you've repaired the sofa and are trying to be gentle with it and would she encourage her DH to sit in the offered chair or to sit more gently? 

Brain Fluff

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2009, 04:28:24 PM »
I don't think bringing down another chair is rude at all.  I'd mention that you've recently had the sofa repaired and and thought he'd be more comfortable in the chair.  Is your MiL any help?  Could you casually mention to her the fact that you've repaired the sofa and are trying to be gentle with it and would she encourage her DH to sit in the offered chair or to sit more gently? 
DH has let me know that this is a point of contention between FIL and MIL. I guess she has given up trying to get FIL to sit more gently after decades of marriage.

I think out best bet is give him his own chair, and if/when he breaks that, give him a dinning room chair.  :( :-[

Morticia

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2009, 12:38:40 PM »
How about a nice beanbag chair? Just keep a vacuum handy...
Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
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kingsrings

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #8 on: November 06, 2009, 01:12:49 PM »
LOL  ;D

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2009, 01:14:43 PM »
Put boards underneath the sofa cushions to reinforce them during the visit (at least 1/2" thick). These also have the added benefit of being uncomfortable to a flompfer, while giving nice support to normal sitter-downers.

ETA: If he asks why they're there, look very innocent and say they're for back support for you.
« Last Edit: November 06, 2009, 01:16:16 PM by PackRat »
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BettyDraper

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #10 on: November 06, 2009, 01:16:59 PM »
Put boards underneath the sofa cushions to reinforce them during the visit (at least 1/2" thick). These also have the added benefit of being uncomfortable to a flompfer, while giving nice support to normal sitter-downers.

Very ingenious.  And I don't see anything rude about it.  Perhaps the most polite route would be to warn FIL before he flomps but ... 

moimoi

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Re: Need phrasing help to protect my sofa, please
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2009, 09:07:19 PM »
I had the same problem with a (large) acquainance that liked to lean back on two legs of my expensive, antique, formal dining room chairs, hands behind his head, as he pontificated on his importance at work, country club, etc.  There is/was nothing that was not boorish about his speech, behavior, self-aggrandizing, or posture, so, after an hour of this, I pulled one of my dear grandmother's moves, and said, with my southern accent unneccesarily thick, "Oh, honey, I am sooo afraid that you are going to fall when you lean back like that.  I'd hate for you to get hurt by splintered wood."  The idiot looked at me like I was completely crazy & just kept on.  A few minutes later, the chair cracked.  Not one word of apology out of him.  Moral of the story:  there are some people who should have to apply, in a lengthy, painful fashion, to be entertained. ;)
« Last Edit: November 15, 2009, 09:22:36 PM by moimoi »