What's the right thing to do? (Warning: girl issues)

[AllyKat]

This didn't happen to me, but my roommate. She was walking back from class and saw that the girl walking in front of her had a large stain on the seat of her pants, obviously from her period. My roommate wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to tell the girl, but this was a stranger to her and she didn't want to embarrass her.

Luckily the girl turned into the bathroom right away, so my roommate didn't have to do anything. But she was wondering what the proper etiquette was in this situation? Should she have told the girl and risked her getting embarrassed, or just ignored it, since it's not really any of her business.

[tartxcherries]

Honestly I know it would be embarrassing, probably for both parties, for your friend to go up and mention it to her. What I tell myself in these situations is would I really want someone on the street to not tell me? How much more embarrassing could it be to go on about your day with no one ever telling you? I would just walk over and discreetly mention to the person that they had a stain on their pants. There is no need to go into further detail, it just gives the person a heads up to go check themselves out.

[Dottyg]

Absolutely tell her. It's possible to do it discreetly, and it's very important.

To this very day, I cringe at the remembrance of standing outside a Houston venue waiting for the doors to open to the circus. I was a young teen and didn't realize I had a stain. I, also, didn't know why everyone behind me was laughing and pointing at me.  It took a long time to get over that. And, it upsets me that not one kindly lady saw fit to give me assistance. They all just allowed me to be laughed at? That was cruel.

 

[guihong]

I once had a kindly woman at the dentist's lean over and whisper that I had a stain.  Since I never know exactly when it comes anymore, I'm grateful for the heads-up.

gui

[Master_Edward]

Not the most comfortable situation. But I'd definitely let someone know they had a stain.

Ed.

[Merry Mrs Martin]

Absolutely tell her. It's possible to do it discreetly, and it's very important.

To this very day, I cringe at the remembrance of standing outside a Houston venue waiting for the doors to open to the circus. I was a young teen and didn't realize I had a stain. I, also, didn't know why everyone behind me was laughing and pointing at me.  It took a long time to get over that. And, it upsets me that not one kindly lady saw fit to give me assistance. They all just allowed me to be laughed at? That was cruel.

 

This , yes I would be embarrassed for a few moments if someone told me about a stain but I would be mortified to get home and wonder how long and how many people saw/laughed ...

I've never had a stain but I did have a skirts  in the back zipper come down ,yep undies showing, being told was embarrassed but I was so greatful  to the woman who did and I still think the Co-worker who just snickered for an hour is a horses rear.

[Miss Understood]

Absolutely, discreetly let her know.  Of course it's embarassing, but how much more embarrassing will it be hours later?  (And to the PP who was in a similar situation and people laughed at her, those people were beyond rude, they were deliberately mean - I cannot understand that kind of meanness at all, especially if some of them were women - we have all been there.)

[Shu]

I'm still grateful to the girl ages back in highschool, when I was only 13, who wrapped her windbreaker around my waist (being actually kind of a "look" then) declaring it "looked great with my outfit" and then whispered in my ear that I had a stain. I was able to grab my gym sweatpants before hopefully to many people were the wiser 

[Dottyg]

Shu, I hope karma rewarded that girl later. What a nice person she was.

[Paper Roses]

I wonder if there's any way to let someone know in a 'face-saving' way?  And I'm not being sarcastic here (for once, yeah, I know.) 

Something like, "Oh, no, it looks like you may have sat on a red marker." 

Sort of a "We both know what it is, but I'll pretend I don't so as not to embarrass you."

[cicero]

absolutely tell. as PPs pointed out - it is possible to do so discreetly. and you are doing someone a huge good deed.

[Bijou]

One day when I was in high school I was rushing down the hall in a hurry to get to my next class.  The hall was teeming with kids doing the same thing.  Hurrying along, I noticed a girl in front of me wearing a pale lime green skirt (I will never forget the color) with a big red menstrual spot on the back.  I just got as close as I could behind her so no one else could see it, and when we reached the bathroom which had an open door and a coat room just inside,  I maneuvered her (probably much to her surprise) into the room and told her she had something on the back of her skirt.  
I wasn't smart enough to ask if I could help her by letting her teacher know she would not be in class, make a phone call for her, make sure she had a coat or go to get hers from where ever it might be, let her sister, who was in my class, know about it.  But, I did manage to get her out of the hallway and into a safe place.  

[Amava]

I think that alerting and helping a person who is in this situation is absolutely the right thing to do.

[hot_shaker]

I wonder if there's any way to let someone know in a 'face-saving' way?  And I'm not being sarcastic here (for once, yeah, I know.)  

Something like, "Oh, no, it looks like you may have sat on a red marker."  

Sort of a "We both know what it is, but I'll pretend I don't so as not to embarrass you."

Yes, actually.  On a big day at school, I was "dressed up" (for a grad student) and had on a cute khaki skirt.  A male co-worker discreetly said something like "Hey, it looks like you might have sat in a little bit of juice or something." Sure enough, I had a (thankfully) very small stain.  Fortunately, this occurred after the big event and I was able to go home right away.

Now if the stain had been larger, I don't know if that ploy would have worked as well.

I've had a couple of large accidents in public (one I discovered and could race back to my dorm room, one in which a teammate told me and I could change, and one where my Mom was there and we going inside the house anyway).  I swear having an accident is the worst part of having periods to me.    To this day, I strongly avoid wearing light colors during that time of the month.

If you don't have an item of clothing that you can or are willing to lend, Bijou did exactly the right thing: walk right behind the person until you get to a restroom.

[Luna_Moon]

It's definitely kindest to say something. I was taught to stand behind the person and quietly whisper in their ear, "It looks like you might have sat in some juice."

Accidents are no fun. I have menorrhagia (flooding) and it caused me to leak everywhere on a grade 9 gym field trip. So many people laughed that my gym teacher sat the girls down for the ride home and taught them about menorrhagia and how difficult it can be to manage. I rode home with the boys, who thankfully, didn't catch on, and the girls actually came up to me once we got back to school to apologize and ask questions. I had a couple of incidents after that, but nobody ever made fun again.