Author Topic: Ex-students on Facebook  (Read 3804 times)

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pixel dust

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #15 on: November 09, 2009, 12:20:06 PM »
You're not his teacher anymore, I wouldn't worry about continually ignoring his friend requests, or just not responding. If you never answer to his request, it'll just sit in your inbox and there's nothing he can do about it.

I think there's a way to block people on Facebook too, that's something you can look into.

I wouldn't worry about what he might think.

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #16 on: November 09, 2009, 12:28:53 PM »
I've friended children I don't teach and that seems to be fine with the principal of our school. I never post anything to my page that a child could not see; plus I also have several very religious relatives on there. I did have a pic of the two Captain Jacks (like the one below, only a bit... er, closer) but the app I was using changed so I got rid of it, and before that I had the kids on limited profile so they couldn't see it anyway.

Honestly, I'd block the trouble-making kid. Then, if anyone asks you why you didn't friend him, say honestly that you "can't see him". It's true, after all, and he'll never be able to see you either. It will be like you don't exist. That way he can't harrass you. Then if someone twigs to the fact that you've blocked him, just play dumb. "What? No, I've looked, I don't know how it works, I don't think I blocked anyone... it must be a glitch..." Sometimes bending the truth slightly is the best way to go.


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spookycatlady

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #17 on: November 09, 2009, 12:43:16 PM »
I taught for two years, about ten years ago in the town I grew up in.  Even though it was a lifetime ago and these kids are all adults now, I definitely wouldn't friend a troublesome former student. 

For you, this was a person, for reasons known only him, who was a source of stress to you. He shouldn't be given permission to keep on doing that and I would block the young lad.  He seems only intersted in needling you, just like old times.  When someone gets blocked on Facebook, the blocker completely disappears from the Blockee.  They can't see your name, you don't appear in searches, and you can't send/receive messages to/from them.  Worlds better than purgatory, especially in these situations.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #18 on: November 09, 2009, 12:49:46 PM »
Hi, all --

I'm in a graduate program on emerging media & communications, and this exact issue is part of this week's assignment. Would any of you mind if I used some of this discussion in my assignment? (We do required reading each week, then analyze & comment on it in blogs, and comment on other students' blogs.)

You can PM me for the blog site & see some of my previous work.
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Sharnita

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #19 on: November 09, 2009, 12:51:07 PM »
Feel free.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #20 on: November 09, 2009, 12:55:07 PM »
Bless you. I have to finish it this evening, and I was totally stumped.
"I'm going to need a SWAT team ready to mobilize, street level maps covering all of Florida, a pot of coffee, 12 jammy dodgers and a fez."

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Lynnv

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #21 on: November 09, 2009, 12:56:17 PM »
Any student that has graduated would be okay but any student that still is in the school system should not be on
your facebook. My district has warned its teachers not to have facebook pages because of problems it can create.

My husband would be livid (and I would agree) if his district tried to tell him not to have a FB page.

Warn him (or his less tech-savvy colleagues, at least) about some of the dangers and what NOT to post-no problem.
Rules about whether or not a teacher can friend current students-no problem, depending on the rules.

But teachers do get to have a personal life, and telling teachers that they should not have a FB page is way, way over the line.

As far as OPs situation, DH would have no difficulties saying no to a friend request from a troublemaker.  He would have done the best he could for that kid when he had him/her in class.  After graduation, he no longer has to accept responsibility for that kid....and he would not be willing to have such a brat on his FB page.

He does generally accept requests from former students after they graduate (he teaches juniors, mostly, so we are talking about college students).  He gets students (every year) who come back and ask for help with some of their college level classes-and he is usually happy to give a few pointers. 

But he has turned down a few former kids-and for similar reasons.

As long as you did the best you could for the student when he/she was in your classroom, don't feel like you have to say yes out of an obligation that, in all reality, expired on graduation day.
Lynn

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Bijou

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #22 on: November 09, 2009, 01:27:01 PM »
If I were a teacher I would stay off of facebook and myspace, for the very reasons people are giving here.  
Plus, a teacher is in an authority position over the students who are enrolled in the school.  This would include Jake, and the other students you have friended.  
Speaking only for myself, I would close my facebook account and find another web community that has some age restrictions, to avoid such contact.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2009, 01:29:25 PM by Bijou »
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Master_Edward

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #23 on: November 09, 2009, 01:27:42 PM »
I guess you can give Jake an explanation why don't want to have him on your Friends list but I don't think it's necessary. I've ignored people's friends requests on my Facebook page and I don't feel the least bit guilty about it. And no I don't think you're being unfair. If people start avoiding him and not wanting to be his friend maybe he'll finally figure it out and start treating people with respect. But from what you've said I doubt it I'm sure between him and his mommy dearest he's convinced that it's a big bad world and why is everyone so mean to me??!! Waaah! 8) I definitely won't be friends with people who don't treat me with respect either.

Ed.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2009, 01:31:27 PM by Master_Edward »

GirlyJock

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #24 on: November 09, 2009, 01:33:19 PM »
You can make your Facebook page unsearchable, so there's no reason to tell teacher's that they cannot have a Facebook page.

Also I agree that OP should block the troublemaker. He won't be able to see or contact her again.

artk2002

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #25 on: November 09, 2009, 01:39:49 PM »
Just ignore the request and be done with it.  If you don't want anything to do with him, then don't respond.  Make sure that your own pages are secured appropriately.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Lynnv

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #26 on: November 09, 2009, 01:40:49 PM »
If I were a teacher I would stay off of facebook and myspace, for the very reasons people are giving here. 
Plus, a teacher is in an authority position over the students who are enrolled in the school.  This would include Jake, and the other students you have friended. 
Speaking for myself, I would close my facebook account and find another web community that has some age restrictions, to avoid such contact.

Outside of some pretty limited circumstances (family and 'real-life' friends come to mind), I don't think that teachers should be friending current students.  Or even ungraduated students in their school.

But, there is no reason DH should stay off of FB/MySpace/LiveJournal/Whatever social site.  Since he does add current students, there is no problem with him having a page.  Sure-he adds kids (really young adults by the time they graduate) who request after they graduate.  But we are, at that point, talking about two adults.  I just don't see the problem here. 

Teachers have every right to have a life-even an on-line life.  FB is one of the easier ways to do that-and I don't see any problem with it as long as it is used with some care.  And everyone should be taking some care in those kinds of situations. 

In OPs case, I would just say no to the kid and ignore/block him from here on out.

Lynn

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DaDancingPsych

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #27 on: November 09, 2009, 02:43:14 PM »
While reading your post, my thoughts changed. Learning of his initial request, I thought that maybe he was trying to reach out to you to apologize. Probably the better way to do so would have been a message first doing so, but he's only 15 and kids work in strange ways.

But then I read the message he sent you and realized that he's still not mature enough to be a "friend". I wouldn't bother explaining anything to him, just ignore and move on. I guarantee you'll save yourself a headache or two by not befriending him at this time.

And this tool is for your personal use, so you don't need to rationalize who you friend and who you don't.

Bob Ducca

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #28 on: November 09, 2009, 03:04:40 PM »
Hi, all --

I'm in a graduate program on emerging media & communications, and this exact issue is part of this week's assignment. Would any of you mind if I used some of this discussion in my assignment? (We do required reading each week, then analyze & comment on it in blogs, and comment on other students' blogs.)

You can PM me for the blog site & see some of my previous work.

Certainly.  PM me if you want any more info.

Morrigan

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Re: Ex-students on Facebook
« Reply #29 on: November 09, 2009, 05:39:55 PM »
I'm with the ignore and block.  I've done that with two people who tried to Friend me, and I have no problems doing it to others.