General Etiquette > Life...in general
Another Christmas etiquette question
DottyG:
--- Quote from: Nekolove on December 21, 2006, 10:28:54 AM ---Well, back to the original situation at hand, I think everyone else involved interpereted the evening differently than you Freaky. Especially if Pedro has been a close friend for a while, it sounds like your parents were more than happy to have him there. Maybe he was lonely and just wanted to hang out with your family. I also think if you really felt that strongly about it you should have just said no and not left it up to your parents to do it for you.
And once it was decided that he was going to come over it was your place to treat him like a guest (meaning happily playing a CD he wanted you too, even if it was his). I also think he was just being polite by asking about the ornament's histories. That's something I would have done. I love hearing stories about my best friend's parents when they were young and just getting together. I don't think those questions were out of place.
I don't think anyone was really rude in this situation. I would just chalk up any unhappiness (except for your brother's) to miscommunication about the importance of it being "family only".
--- End quote ---
[Insert word we're using instead of POD] This is spot-on, and I agree with it completely.
LissaR1:
DottyG said exactly what I was thinking.
And no, it's not too nosy in this case for a friend to say "oh, what are you doing?" when you say you're busy. That's being interested in a friend's life. I wouldn't ask a casual acquaintence that, or a friend who was being very sharp about saying they're busy, but a good friend who mentioned they had plans? It's conversation.
freakyfemme:
--- Quote from: LissaR1 on December 21, 2006, 12:25:09 PM ---DottyG said exactly what I was thinking.
And no, it's not too nosy in this case for a friend to say "oh, what are you doing?" when you say you're busy. That's being interested in a friend's life. I wouldn't ask a casual acquaintence that, or a friend who was being very sharp about saying they're busy, but a good friend who mentioned they had plans? It's conversation.
--- End quote ---
Well, I think it's a bit rude and short to just say, "Sorry, I'm busy," and to a good friend at that, so I'd volunteered the fact that I'd be decorating the tree with the family as a reason for my unavailability......I just found it odd that he persisted after that.
DottyG:
Freaky, asking if you minded if he joined you is not persisting. It's asking your permission to join you and your family at an activity. Your choice at his question was simple - "yes, Pedro, please come join us" or "no, Pedro, this isn't something you can join us at." You chose the former. You may not like that he took you up on that. But, you can't be angry at him for coming when you clearly said he could. It's your fault alone.
I know you're upset that your family time was taken by someone outside the family. But, the only person you can really blame for that is yourself. You chose to allow him to come. You, and you alone, are the one who said "yes" instead of "no."
Pedro was not rude in anything he did. You want him to be so badly. But, he wasn't, Freaky. Nothing he did was rude.
And, you weren't rude, either. But, you were misleading. And, non-communicative about your true feelings on the subject. But, that wasn't Pedro's fault, either.
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