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Author Topic: Asking guests to remove shoes  (Read 116216 times)

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Suze

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #60 on: December 21, 2006, 03:17:12 PM »
we never had a hard and fast rule about removing shoes in the house, if your shoes are icky take them off.

However there has been one "rule" about spike high heels. My sister had them when I was a kid and they were so tiny that they left dents in the linolium floor. (she was a rather skinny person then) Daddy Was. Not. Happy.

after that you could wear the heels just not untill you left the house.

but he never ever made anybody but us take off our high heels.
Reality is for people who lack Imagination

jaxsue

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #61 on: December 21, 2006, 08:09:22 PM »
This topic is so regional. I grew up way up north in the midwest (us) - 5 months of winter was the norm. During the winter we wore "overshoes" or boots and those were definitely not worn in the house. There was a mat where the snowy (after being "broomed") shoes/boots were left. Other than that, shoes were worn in the house.

Ditto for my relatives in Ontario (Canada) - virtually all my family lived there and we visited in all kinds of weather. We were allowed to wear shoes in the house, though. Just not snowy/muddy shoes.

Gwywnnydd

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #62 on: December 21, 2006, 08:24:41 PM »
Do people from Vancouver & Seattle (very wet climates) take off their shoes out of habit as well?  British people? 

I was born and raised in Seattle, and I never encountered anyone who had a no-shoes rule in their house until I was in my mid twenties. Then again, my best friend was raised ~10 miles south of me, and she knew *lots* of people who did. So, I'd guess that in this area, it's mix. But most folks have a throw rug in front of the outer doors.
My family in northern England always took their shoes off in the vestibule, and puttered around the house in slippers. No idea if that was just my family, though.

Pixie

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #63 on: December 21, 2006, 08:49:04 PM »
In our family we very rarely wore shoes in the house. I still don't.  In  Alaska, it was common to remove your shoes when entering someone's home.   Now, I leave it up to my guests, they can leave them on or take them off, whatever makes them comfortable.  But I usually slip mine off, out of habit, when going to someone's home.


Evil Duckie

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #64 on: December 21, 2006, 09:27:38 PM »
Here where I live most people take their shoes off when entering a house especially in the winter.

I have always had a policy that we don't wear shoes in my house. Depending on the situation I may or may not remind someone to remove their shoes.

smarterthanu213

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #65 on: December 21, 2006, 09:29:34 PM »
Actually, in Germany, where my sister lived for awhile, it is common courtesey for guests to remove their shoes at the door. The host provides a small shoe rack (the free-standing kind) and a pair of slippers for each guest. If you're not going to provide slippers or at least socks, then yes it's rude. But it's kinda fun to get to slip of your shoes and pad around in comfy slippers.

Cyndi

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #66 on: December 22, 2006, 01:22:08 AM »
There are a lot of asian people where my dad works. Once, when he had a poker party, all the asian guys took their shoes off on the porch and came in barefoot/in their socks. I had to smile because I had just read up on Japanese etiquette(for fanfiction).

But I agree with the people saying your house, your rules. Have some slippers handy for people who aren't comfy going barefoot. I personally go barefoot or in just socks(when it's cold) any chance I get. So I have no problem with ditching my shoes.

TZ

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #67 on: December 22, 2006, 02:22:31 AM »
I think it's very rude of you to say that you would not allow my prized goat to partake of a meal at your table.  Don't you think it's highly prejudiced of you to say that he is not worthy of your food? How DARE you be so rude to me and Billy!

;)



Sorry, DottyG, but it's only rude if you and your goat are an established social unit ;D

I was raised with the belief that it's rude to remove your shoes in someone else's home because it is too informal for most social situations.    My sister and I still do an excellent imitation of the neighbor kids' dad demanding that they put their shoes on before entering the house.  The first time I was ever asked to remove my shoes was at my college ex-bf's house, and it was for cultural reasons, which I naturally respected. 

Since then, I have only been asked to remove my shoes once, and the guy really annoyed me.  He basically told us at the door that he didn't want our shoes on his brand new expensive white carpet.  In this case, it was the host's attitude, rather than the request, that irritated me. 

In my area (Southern California), weather isn't really a reason to ask guests to remove shoes, which is probably why I've rarely been asked to do so.  Of course, I'm kicking myself now because, prior to reading this enlightening thread, I never realized that shoe racks at the door were a subtle hint to remove shoes.  I just assumed that people who had them were much more organized than I am, and that they never had to go hunting for their missing shoes thanks to their spiffy system.  At least now I know better!

Unfortunately, I rarely wear socks, and when I do, they don't match.  I only wear them under knee boots, so nobody can see them.  Thanks to my dryer, I don't think I even own a pair of matching socks.  It would be great if the host to provide slippers or socks, so I could remove my own lovely pair.  As others have mentioned, it would also be wonderful to know in advance, so clueless folk like myself could come prepared.

Suze

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #68 on: December 22, 2006, 10:58:58 AM »
I have two friends who take their shoes off all the time, and it drives me crazy, partly because I'm a seamstress and as hard as I try, there will be pins in the carpet somewhere
So the rule is in my place?  Keep your shoes on if you value your feet health.


The best way to find a lost pin is to walk barefoot though the house - You WILL step on it somewhere along the way.

We sew too. I am surprised we have not had to pick one out of a cat paw (yet)

Our house is a foot covered house. Usually shoes, or thick soled slippers.

Suze
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NewMrsF

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #69 on: December 22, 2006, 11:38:11 AM »
The shoes on/off in the house thing seems to fall into geographic areas.  As the poster above mentioned, in most areas of Canada we remove our shoes.  I'm now begining to supsect that it is climate related.  Up here in the Great White North we are wearing boots 4-5 months of the year, and we would never think to keep them on inside.  Probably we just get into the habit for all year round.  Do people from Vancouver & Seattle (very wet climates) take off their shoes out of habit as well?  British people? 
And what is with having floors that can't handle a bit of dirt? That sounds like a lot of excess work to me.  But what do I know -    I have a cat that walks around the house throwing hair everywhere.  I personally wish people would keep their shoes on inside my house so they don't pick up dust bunnies.  But that is just not how it's done up here.

I never thought about it as a climate thing, but I live on Vancouver Island (and grew up on the mainland). Everyone I know takes their shoes off, usually because they are wet and/or dirty. Of course, I also grew up on a farm and wouldn't dream of wearing barn boots into the house. My mom will wear her nicer shoes into the house if she is bringing in groceries or in and out doing errands. However, she never walks on carpeted areas with her shoes on.

In response to DottyG and her need to wear shoes to aid in walking and standing, I can't imagine being 'offended' at having you wear shoes in my house (though I prefer guests to not) but I also wouldn't expect you to walk on my carpets with muddy shoes. I expect you would make sure they were clean or have another pair with you.


taralee

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #70 on: December 22, 2006, 12:08:41 PM »
We have a little rug by our front door, with our shoes lying on it. People walking into our house ALWAYS see that, and 95% of the time will ask "Should I take my shoes off?" Depending on the situation (and what shoes they're wearing), we usually say "Please do" :) If they're wearing rubber bottomed shoes, and they're just stopping in for a couple of minutes, then we don't bother having them take them off, but otherwise, yes, shoes off. Our friends and family all know at this point that it's expected, and come prepared to do so.
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DottyG

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #71 on: December 22, 2006, 12:10:59 PM »
but I also wouldn't expect you to walk on my carpets with muddy shoes. I expect you would make sure they were clean

I guess I always figured that was a common sense thing that went without saying.  I didn't realize you had slobs visiting you who had no idea that they needed to wipe their feet before entering the house. ;)


JudiAU

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #72 on: December 22, 2006, 12:19:46 PM »
I think it is very rude to ask your guests to take off your shoes. If you have a family habit of doing so, then your guests may choose to as well. But a direct request is just bizaree. I am not removing my choose and I am not removing my skirt.

If you care more about your carpet and your floors than your guests don't have people over.
« Last Edit: December 22, 2006, 12:43:44 PM by JudiAU »

DottyG

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #73 on: December 22, 2006, 12:23:31 PM »
I think it is very rude to ask your guests to take off your shoes and never acceptable. If you care more about your carpet and your floors than you guests don't have people over.

Like you, I'm in an area where we don't do this.  However, read through the thread.  You need to keep in mind that there are some areas in which this IS the custom and is not rude.  For instance, I can see how, in places where there's slush right now, they ask that people remove their shoes before tracking dirty snow into the house.

The forum's good for learning other ways of doing things and other cultures' customs.  For you (and where I live), it's weird to ask someone to remove their shoes.  But, don't be dismissive of a locale where it is the custom.


Heavenly

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Re: Asking guests to remove shoes
« Reply #74 on: December 22, 2006, 01:19:17 PM »
I guess I have mixed feelings about this.

My family is instructed to leave their shoes by the door, especially in inclement weather.  Mostly because I don't like walking on wet carpet. 

I leave it up to my guests to do whatever they feel comfortable with doing.

At my extended family (Mom's, sisters, etc.) I take off my shoes if I'm staying for a while (I like to be comfortable   ;) ), but leave them on if it's just a quick pick up or something.

I would be extremely insulted if someone I don't know well INSISTED that I remove my shoes in their homes.  I even get a little irritated at the "cutesy" signs at the front door.  I prefer NOT to remove my shoes in homes where I am a guest.  Getting cranky about it would probably just make me leave as soon as politely possible.

So there you go...  Could I be any more wishy washy?  LOL