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[FedUpWithYou]

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[Morty'sCleaningLady]

You aren't an ogre, but that lawyer is a Grinch!!! If you are working with your own attorney, have him get you an extension.  I know many people have left on holiday already and could have missed that lawyer's timeline!

Instead of cancelling, can you scale back?  Maybe some close friends will be able to help pot-luck it?

[Virg]

I agree with MrsBart.  You might be able to call for help and not cancel the party.  At the very best, getting someone else to bring the turkey would save you a lot of prep time.  All in all, etiquette states you should follow through, but there's nothing rude about asking for help since you've been put in a time crunch by your legal affairs.  If the cost of stuff to bring is an issue, you could certainly offer to pay for the turkey (or whatever other supplies the guest would be bringing at your request).  I'm certain that your guests can understand something like this coming up and would be able to help.

Also, don't forget that you can get a cleaning service in for a not-exorbitant amount if you're really desperate.

Virg

[ShadesOfGrey]

I agree with finding help as much as possible, I think (hope) people will understand if you explain the situation. 

I would also suggest telling everyone a very specific ending time - this way guests wont linger, and you have some energy after the party to continue with your work.  I think a short apology for having to cut it short would be in order, not because it is  your *fault*, but just to smooth things over and let them know that this wasnt your first choice.  If they understand that it was the difference between canceling on short notice and cutting it short, they should be appreciative that you still opened your home to them.   

This was an unanticipated obligation, and people should politely understand

[platys]

As a christmas orphan, I would really advise against cancelling.  I'm the one throwing the orphan bash this year, but I know that at this point, I"ve already turned down other Christmas invitations.  Presumably the others have as well.   You can push Christmas Dinner back a bit (I'm having mine at 5, because I've got some folks coming from longish distances, and I'm sooo not a morning person), which will give you more time and less stress.  Or, ask folks to help chip in for the meal. 

[Morty'sCleaningLady]

I love Rdge's idea of a specific ending time. 

The turkey is pretty easy to do.  If others can supply the sides, you'll be all set.  Stick the bird in the oven while doing the paperwork.

I'm horrified that your attorney isn't reachable right now.  The opposing council is whatever's worse than a Grinch!

[Hawkwatcher]

If it is only gone be the three of you, why don't you offer to take her out for a nice dinner instead?  This way you will still be fulfilling your duties as host and will not have to worry about cleaning house.  She might enjoy a nice relaxing evening at a fine restaurant.

[sammycat]

If it is only gone be the three of you, why don't you offer to take her out for a nice dinner instead?  This way you will still be fulfilling your duties as host and will not have to worry about cleaning house.  She might enjoy a nice relaxing evening at a fine restaurant

I echo this suggestion; it sound like a great compromise.

But bah humbug to the other lawyer/Christmas grinch for timing this the way he did.

OT:  My BIL used to work in a bank and one of his co-workers worked in a section handling bankruptcies.  Every year this guy would deliberately wait until Xmas Eve to send out the papers that would tell a client that the bank was going ahead with bankrupcy proceedings.  Apparently his Christmas mantra was "who can I bankrupt this year?"

[sammycat]

wow, I'm sure there's a special unpleasant reincarnation for that type of person.

Let's hope so -and people wonder banks here (Australia) are so unpopular.

[Virg]

Sammycat wrote:

"Every year this guy would deliberately wait until Xmas Eve to send out the papers that would tell a client that the bank was going ahead with bankrupcy proceedings."

In trying hard to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, did he send the papers via mail or courier?  If by mail, it's possible he sent them then so that folks wouldn't receive them until after Christmas was done.

I'm just trying to see if it might be a good deed in disguise, but you'll know better than me about that.

Virg

[sammycat]

did he send the papers via mail or courier

No, unfortunately, the papers were sent via courier, apparently, as close to end of business day as possible.  And I just checked with my BIL for more info- the guy sending out the papers would hang onto the papers for a few days if need be just so that he could send them out on Christmas Eve (or last business day).  My BIL says this guy used to get rather a perverse pleasure out of doing this. 

[threedogs]

Even if sent by courier on Christmas Eve, the papers still wouldn't get there until the next business day - after Christmas.  Anything sent prior to Christmas Eve would be delivered the next day, so perhaps this guy was really being nice by holding on to them until then so that they arrived after Christmas.

[sammycat]

I'd like to give this banker guy the benefit of the doubt by according to BIL,  banker guy used to send them via those people who hand deliver papers - servers (?). (I just call them couriers as well so sorry for not being clear). His goal was to actually get them to the people on Xmas Eve.  Dec 26 is also a public holiday here so the recipients' would have an extra day to wait before calling the bank or their lawyer (or whoever deals with these things).  Banker guy also used to take his annual leave right after Christmas (nothing wrong with that per se) but it would just delay the recipients being able to sort it out if they needed to speak to him personally.