Facebook Gah!

[noexitwounds]

This is what I understood.  OP posted the lyrics, was on-line with her friend while friend posted the "ready to fly into the arms of death" comment.

Right, but two things about that:

Before this happened the OP replied to the original comment on a public space instead of moving it to private as the friend suggested, which implies she's okay with having this conversation publicly.

They weren't discussing the comment/lyrics in chat when the friend made that reply on the status. Unless the OP left something out, she didn't go "What's going on with the 'yikes' comment?" to her Friend in chat only to have the friend post a reply to that question publicly. They were having an entirely different conversation, not about the status update.

So, why would friend think that it wasn't okay to reply to the status update since, one, the OP did and, two, when the OP had her in private (IM/chat) she didn't address the issue? That's blaming the friend for not being psychic.

[Telmereth]

I've been imagining what my response would be to seeing those words on one of my friend's FB pages, and I've realised there are two distinct cases.

I have a few old acquaintances who I keep on FB for occasional catch-ups who are incredibly over-dramatic and attention seeking. They often post very dark song lyrics, poetry or things like "I'm in the dark place again" but after a few false panics in the past I know that they're just attention seeking and I ignore such posts. If the words were strong even for them, I would probably do the lyric check on google before deciding how to proceed!

If it was one of my close friends who never post things like that, as you say you rarely do, OP, then yes, I would be worried if I interpreted the lyrics to be a reference to depression or suicide. I would definitely speak to them about it. I certainly wouldn't post on their FB page.

I think this is where your annoyance comes from, OP, and I can understand. Why post to a status update when you're actually online and chatting to someone right there and then? It does seem odd, and not something I would do.

My advice is similar to what PPs have said - it would be a good idea to attribute lyrics to their author or use the music notes symbol in future, if only to avoid the headache of possible misinterpretations. In addition, I don't think there would be anything wrong with asking your friend why she didn't speak directly to you via the FB chat, as I do think that was weird.

[Audrey Quest]

Didn't address it to you that moment in private, but instead wrote something out in public.  If she had cared about you/been worried about what you might do, she should have talked to you then and there, not post a FB note.  You had to answer her on FB because that was where she pasted the note.

I really don't think that's accurate. One, the OP replied to the original missive ("Yikes, call me!") on her FB status thread. The friend was merely replying to that response, the third in the chain when she revealed the issue (rather than a general concern statement like 'call me!') was about it seeming suicidal.

Two, the OP chose not to call as the friend had suggested, which would have taken the conversation to a private space.

Three, at any point the OP could have chosen to delete the friend's original or second comment. She still could. It's her FB status; she has complete control over it. She could have sent a PM instead of replying in the thread. She could have waited to reply until they were on at the same time and then done it in IM. She could have emailed instead of replying on FB. And since she apparently has the friend's phone number, she could have called her. Or just ignored it entirely.

The OP choices were plentiful. "Had" had nothing to do with any of them.

The point is not what I could have done at any point in the FB conversation nor what the lyrics might mean to you.  And of course if she had done a google search, it wouldn't have mattered what the rest of the lyrics were, the fact that they were by the band, Dada,  would have completely clued her into why they were on my page.
 
The point is that if you think someone has something wrong with their head you send them a message privately not publicly.  That's that point.  You don't "comment" what amounts to "Oh my goodness, it sounds like you want to kill yourself!" publicly no matter what the person posts.

But, then after I try to downplay it and am actually in a chat with her where she ignores me so that she can poetically reinterpret the lyrics, I find it to be even worse.  Because of course the rest of the chat (which she resumes after she posts) is why she is so extremely busy at that particular moment, which she always is anyway and so if I really ever did need someone to talk to--why the heck would I call her?
 
And I left it up there to show how overly dramatic she is!  She can also delete what she wrote.
 
And really, it was only a minor annoyance which as I have stated now repeatedly was made worse because of a BG with that person.

But, again, the whole point, really, regardless of whether or not your circle of friends posts Dada lyrics or recipes for meat pies that includes their own beating heart, if you think your friend is suicidal, the best way to approach it is not in a public response to the status update but privately.

That was my point.  So, whether or not you think the lyrics sound like someone who wants to commit suicide really doesn't have any bearing on it.

[Audrey Quest]

Actually, I put up song lyrics all the time--where do you get that I don't put up lyrics?  I do, all the time.
 
What I don't do is make veiled references to some dark state of mind or really any state of mind.

You say that you usually post things that are not lyrics in your status updates. That suggests that you posting lyrics is unusual or, at least, not what you usually do or else you would have included that in your examples of what you post as well. This is the exact quote: 

In fact, usually, I post articles, political stuff and things like "going to the grocery store" or "the bathroom is clean yet again".

Re: your comment to Dotty. I understand how you saw the lyric. However, that's not the only way to see the lyric: at least a few of us saw it as reasonable to think that it referenced suicide. I actually went and looked up the song. I'd be pretty shocked given the full lyrics, if the song was, in fact, not a reference to suicide. It has further lyrics such as

My head goes under when she pulls me down
I hold my breath and drown in ecstasy

and

Surrounded by a million and no one around
The dirt below loves me just the same

The song is not about suicide.

It's All Mine (Dada)

There's nothing better than a car
A hundred miles per hour in the dark
I close my eyes and take my hands off the wheel
No better way to find out who you are

With the moon on top
And the square aligned
The feeling's right And it's all mine
Yeah, it's all mine An' it's all mine

I love to walk the cruel sea
'Cause I know her, she knows me
My head goes under when she pulls me down
I hold my breath and drown in ecstasy

If you look just right You can see the sign
I got a map to the night And it's all mine Yeah, it's all mine Yeah, it's all mine
Yeah, it's all mine Yeah, yeah, it's all mine Shakin' up the super-fine Yeah, yeah, it's all mine

They say you can't buy love
They say you can't try enough
They say you can't find what you can't see

I stand in silence in the rain
Let go of all the sadness and the pain
Surrounded by a million and no one around
The dirt below loves me just the same

With the moon on top And the square aligned
And the feeling's right And it's all mine
Yeah, it's all mine Yeah, it's all mine Yeah,
it's all mine Yeah, yeah, it's all mine Shakin' up the super-fine Yeah, yeah, it's all mine

Come on, alright Come on, alright Yeah, come on, al- Alright, come on Alright, come on Alright, come on Alright, come on Alright, come on Alright

[wyliefool]

OT, but I think if I ever go on facebook my status is going to read thusly:

Not posting statuses.

It all just sounds so exhausting.

[MariaE]

OT, but I think if I ever go on facebook my status is going to read thusly:

Not posting statuses.

It all just sounds so exhausting.

My dad has made it his goal never to post something sensible in the status.

Instead he'll write stuff like:
wonders if R2D2 can get H1N1?
is disappointed that nobody has ever offered him a big bribe.
wonders if smoking is bad for you if you're a fire-breathing dragon.
ponders the reality of complex numbers and the complexity of real numbers.
believes that because the financial crisis, the meaning of life, the universe and everything is now 41.

etc...

[Master_Edward]

Oh I think your dad and me would get along great!

Ed.

[Surianne]

Yes, Maria, I love your dad's status updates.  Goofy status updates, lyrics, and fake over-the-top-drama ("Surianne is sad because someone kidnapped her pet unicorn this morning") are definite standards in my group of friends. 

[DottyG]

OT, but I think if I ever go on facebook my status is going to read thusly:

Not posting statuses.

It all just sounds so exhausting.

My dad has made it his goal never to post something sensible in the status.

Instead he'll write stuff like:
wonders if R2D2 can get H1N1?
is disappointed that nobody has ever offered him a big bribe.
wonders if smoking is bad for you if you're a fire-breathing dragon.
ponders the reality of complex numbers and the complexity of real numbers.
believes that because the financial crisis, the meaning of life, the universe and everything is now 41.

etc...

I love these!

[noexitwounds]

But, then after I try to downplay it and am actually in a chat with her where she ignores me so that she can poetically reinterpret the lyrics, I find it to be even worse.  Because of course the rest of the chat (which she resumes after she posts) is why she is so extremely busy at that particular moment, which she always is anyway and so if I really ever did need someone to talk to--why the heck would I call her?
 
And I left it up there to show how overly dramatic she is!  She can also delete what she wrote.
 
And really, it was only a minor annoyance which as I have stated now repeatedly was made worse because of a BG with that person.

It sounds as if you don't really like this person and would prefer if she didn't comment on your status' at all. Given the BG and wording you've used in your responses to me, I don't think this is an issue necessarily of what she commented but that you feel she's an overly dense drama queen who is only a casual friend, at best, and thus shouldn't be addressing these sort of things with you no matter what the venue.

You also seem offended that someone, in fact multiple someones on this thread, would interpret the lyrics as referencing suicide. You say the song is not about suicide; reading the lyrics, I'd say it is. Unless you have a quote from the artist stating it's about challenging yourself and not about letting go and giving in, we're at an impasse there.

Given the above, I don't think that any advice I might offer, or that many of us on this thread might offer, will be something you'd appreciate so rather than upset you, which was not my intention and I apologize for, I think I'll withdraw from the conversation.

[Audrey Quest]

But, then after I try to downplay it and am actually in a chat with her where she ignores me so that she can poetically reinterpret the lyrics, I find it to be even worse.  Because of course the rest of the chat (which she resumes after she posts) is why she is so extremely busy at that particular moment, which she always is anyway and so if I really ever did need someone to talk to--why the heck would I call her?
 
And I left it up there to show how overly dramatic she is!  She can also delete what she wrote.
 
And really, it was only a minor annoyance which as I have stated now repeatedly was made worse because of a BG with that person.

It sounds as if you don't really like this person and would prefer if she didn't comment on your status' at all. Given the BG and wording you've used in your responses to me, I don't think this is an issue necessarily of what she commented but that you feel she's an overly dense drama queen who is only a casual friend, at best, and thus shouldn't be addressing these sort of things with you no matter what the venue.

You also seem offended that someone, in fact multiple someones on this thread, would interpret the lyrics as referencing suicide. You say the song is not about suicide; reading the lyrics, I'd say it is. Unless you have a quote from the artist stating it's about challenging yourself and not about letting go and giving in, we're at an impasse there.

Given the above, I don't think that any advice I might offer, or that many of us on this thread might offer, will be something you'd appreciate so rather than upset you, which was not my intention and I apologize for, I think I'll withdraw from the conversation.

That's probably for the best.

It's a lot more fun to wonder about whether R2D2 can get the H1N1 virus and if the answer to the meaning of life is declining with our economy.   

[miranova]

OT, but I think if I ever go on facebook my status is going to read thusly:

Not posting statuses.

It all just sounds so exhausting.

My dad has made it his goal never to post something sensible in the status.

Instead he'll write stuff like:
wonders if R2D2 can get H1N1?
is disappointed that nobody has ever offered him a big bribe.
wonders if smoking is bad for you if you're a fire-breathing dragon.
ponders the reality of complex numbers and the complexity of real numbers.
believes that because the financial crisis, the meaning of life, the universe and everything is now 41.

etc...

I am totally stealing some of these....