General Etiquette > Family and Children

When do in-laws become 'mom' and 'dad'?

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MrsF:
I'm just curious. When, if you do, did you start calling your in-laws by 'mom' and 'dad' rather than their first names (or Mr. and Mrs. if that's the case)?  I've only been married a couple months and don't feel comfortable yet calling them anything other than Kathy and Murray. DH uses my parent's first names as well. I did address their Christmas gift to Mom and Dad though. Mind you, it is from both of us. And if you don't call them mom and dad, why not? 

guihong:
I've been married nine years, and my in-laws are still "Pat" and "Vern".  I never called them "Mom" and "Dad", because my father is still alive, and I never felt comfortable calling another woman "Mom", after I lost my mom.  There's no law about what to call the in-laws, so do what feels comfortable.

G. calls my father "Mr. Gui's Maiden Name", and after a brief stint with "Mother N.", I went back to their names  ::).

gui

avonlea29:
I started calling dh's parents mom and dad by about the 3rd time I met them b/c we planned to marry from the beginning. I asked his mom what I should call them and she said mom and dad. :) They are just like that and consider me their daughter. It's funny...we had to gently ask FIL to not introduce me as his dd b/c it made me feel strange. I love that he thinks of me that way, but when he says dh is his son and I am his dd and then we act like a couple, I just imagine the confusion. lol "So THAT'S how it is in their family!" ;)

I think alot of people start when they become engaged, but alot never do. I know alot of people that just use their in-laws first names, my parents included.

ETA that dh calls my parents mom and dad too. Although, our parents get along really well and we are usually ALL together for the holidays. Sometimes we use first names to avoid confusion, but it is hard to remember and feels awkward after 10 years of "mom and dad".

Clara Bow:
My mother in law told me in no uncertain terms to call her "Helen", not Mom. She said that she was my friend, and that she didn't call her friends "mom". I was more comfortable with that anyway, I don't call anyone other than the people who contributed my genetic material mom and dad. My step in laws keep hinting at the mom and dad thing, or at least they did for a while, but I'm not overly fond of them anyway, so there's no way I could call them mom and dad. They've improved a lot, but I'm still not there, and it's been ten years so I don't really see myself getting there...
My hubby calls my parents mom and dad. They invited him to and he's comfortable with it...

freakyfemme:
For me?  Never, because I call my *parents* by their first names.  I've done so since I was a child, because for one thing, I didn't understand why the whole world called them by their names, and my brother and I were expected to call them something different, and for another thing, in my mind, "Mom" and "Dad" are sort of....slave titles, for lack of a better word.  They imply that their only function in this world is that of being our parents, whereas first names acknowledge their full identities.  They had lives and interests before they brought me and my brother into the world (as they still do now), and they will (hopefully) continue to do so after we move out permanently.  

Edited to add:  First names also make for MUCH less confusion in a crowded mall, lol.

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