Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Is this rude?

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I just hosted a barbecue for about 20 people.  At least, that was the idea - there were 5 people who told me they were coming and then did not show up, with no explanation or apology.  Would it be rude of me to contact them and ask them politely what happened?

Are you close to these people?  If so, I say sure, especially if they told you they definitely would be there.  Depending on their excuses, you may or may not feel like including on future guest lists.

I think that if they told you they were coming and didn't, it is reasonable to find out why they didn't.  Possibly they had genuine emergencies that prevented them from coming and/or calling to say that they couldn't come.

But if they didn't, I think you need to know so you don't extend invitations to them in the future.

It is rude to call them up and chastise them for not attending, either openly or by implication.

It would not be rude to call up and say, "Hey, we missed you, is everything OK?"

Chocolate Cake:
Just be prepared to hear some really lame excuses, to which you should reply (in a neutral tone), "I see.  Well....I wish you would have called as I worried all evening about you."   


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