From The E-Hell Blog: Ooopsie Thank You Note

[TylerBelle]

Hehehe! That's cool. I like both parties having good humor about the situation. Kudos to the bride for her gracious thank you note, and I can see her assuming what's on the box was what's inside, especially if the trash bag box was in good shape and with items in there (mitts/towels) not making noise when handled.

Or one of my favorites: the bride who returns the picture frame her grandparents gave her, not knowing they put a photo of their own wedding day in the frame as a keepsake.

The moral, of course, is: open the box, folks! 

This is a fave of mine too, where the store clerk realizes it's not a generic factory picture that's been returned in the frame, and puts it in a nice display. Whereas sometime later while shopping the bride of the picture recognizes it as a wedding gift to her granddaughter. I've wondered what happened when grandmother confronted granddaughter about her actions.   

[Animala]

This reminds me of the story of a pastor who received a nice pair of gloves for marrying a couple.  He was disappointed.  When winter came he put  them on and discovered a rolled up 10 bill in each finger and the thumbs.

[Aeris]

Hilarious!

My mother uses old boxes like crazy too - but we've gotten pretty good at knowing which boxes are just 'off', or which are from products we know my parents bought for themselves 6 months ago.

This is a great story though of a very gracious bride on receiving what appeared to be a totally bizarre present, and a gracious friend who didn't think ill of her for not opening the box yet (which I can totally see, if you're opening a lot of presents, and have no reason to 'dig in' to the actual item yet).

[magician5]

That bride is one gracious, sweet person ... you have a very good person for a friend!

[MommyPenguin]

For my bridal shower, I received a box that was marked as a DVD player.  I didn't need a DVD player, as I had one, but my husband and I tried to show the appropriate "Oh, yay!" sentiment, only to be told to open the box.  It was a collection of canned goods that the shower guests had put together as a "pantry starting set."  I always hoped that they weren't hurt, thinking I was expecting to find a DVD player and found a much less expensive present inside (even though the canned goods were more useful than a DVD player!).

[MasterofSquirrels]

for Christmas one year i bought my step-mom a pair of tanzanite earrings.. but they didn't come in a jewlry box (bought them online) so i went to the Dollar store and bought a cheezy ceremic box to put them in.. it cost me.. $.35

she opend her gift and gushed at how pretty the box was.. i told her to open it..

i kept thinking how i could have saved myself some money.. buy just getting her the box.. 

[Tiramisu]

There was an episode of King of Queens where Doug and Carrie find an unopened wedding present, a gravy boat I think.  There turns out to be a cheque inside for $2000 or something.  So then they go to cash it and it has expired so they invite the people who gave it to them over (who are really annoying) so they can pretend to find it in front of them so the couple will re-write them a cheque.  I found that episode hilarious.

I like this story, the bride was so gracious

[HonorH]

for Christmas one year i bought my step-mom a pair of tanzanite earrings.. but they didn't come in a jewlry box (bought them online) so i went to the Dollar store and bought a cheezy ceremic box to put them in.. it cost me.. $.35

she opend her gift and gushed at how pretty the box was.. i told her to open it..

i kept thinking how i could have saved myself some money.. buy just getting her the box.. 

Or it could be that she was just being polite while thinking the box was a cheesy thing that looked like you bought it at the dollar store for $.35.

[Jocelyn]

Years ago, we had a contest at work, and I was one of the people responsible for getting the prizes. We decided that we'd give 3/4 of the budget as a check for first place, and use the remaining 1/4 to buy some small decorative object. The winners were determined a couple of weeks before the luncheon when the prizes were going to be announced. The winner was one of those young women who was well-liked by all, but somewhat naive, so that you just loved to pull her leg.
I went and bought the 2nd and 3rd prize gifts on sale at a department store- they were crystal dishes. Then I scoured the flea markets until I found a platter than was just exactly, precisely, walking the cutting edge between attractive and hideous. <G>
We wrapped up the gifts, and handed them out in reverse order. Everyone oohed and ahhed over the crystal, anticipating a much better gift for 1st place. Then the platter was opened.
The silence was deafening.
The recipient admired it and thanked us for it. After a few minutes, I sidled over behind her, dropped the check, and said, 'I think you dropped something' as if it'd been in the box all along. It turned out that she really DID like the platter, and used it for Thanksgiving dinner that year.

[Ceallach]

See, I would never put a gift in some random box, because I would assume that the person would think that the gift was "whatever the box said".    So these stories always surprise me. 

Many items these days come in brightly labelled boxes with pictures, designed to show what is inside the box (because we often don't open the box before purchasing, whereas once upon a time we might have selected an item and had it boxed instore).   If I see one of those boxes, I assume what is in it is what is in the picture!   If I did have to re-use a random box for a gift, I would use a black marker to cover the name of the original item wherever shown.  Of course, that would make the box quite unsightly, so I probably wouldn't want to do that anyway!     I feel bad for the recipients in these cases, because unless it's a deliberate joke, how are they supposed to know that what they appear to have been given isn't what is actually in the box?  Or is it a requirement of etiquette that we open the box itself and ooh and ahh over the item?    The concept just intrigues me.   

On a similar note, DH and I received 2 gorgeous bathrobes for a wedding gift.  I didn't *love* the pattern, but I do love robes, and as I already had 2 robes at the time I popped them in the cupboard without taking the clear plastic packaging off them.  When I actually opened the packaging and took them out (a year later) I was delighted to see how long and cosy they were!  Far superior to my old robe.  So perhaps I should have opened them at the time - the gift was far nicer than I'd ever imagined!   But I considered "opening the present" to be taking the wrapping off and identifying the item, not necessarily exploring it completely.

[M-theory]

Or is it a requirement of etiquette that we open the box itself and ooh and ahh over the item?    The concept just intrigues me.   

Huh, it had honestly never occurred to me that anyone habitually doesn't completely open gifts and check them out! (Not being snarky, genuinely surprised.) I can understand the couple in the OP being busy with tons of presents and wedding prep and just trying to get a working list of what they received to write thank you notes from, but when I get bday/Christmas/Chanukkah gifts, I always unwrap it, open the box, ooh and ah, etc.

[Martienne]

My maternal grandmother always used a thick permanent marker to make a big X over the picture on the box on all sides. I just thought that was what people did when they reused boxes for gift-giving. The year I was twelve I was opening my Christmas gifts at my paternal grandmother's house (at the time everyone opened gifts at once so it was all kind of confusing and noisy and chaotic). I tore the paper off a gift from my aunt to see a box for some cassette tape drawers--no big black Xs. I had not mentioned it to anyone but I had been wanting some. I thought of it after I wrote my Christmas list so I was delighted to see it. I stood up and excitedly held the box up shouting my thanks over the chaos.

My aunt looked embarrassed, as did my dad, who motioned me down and said to open the box. Since I'd always seen Xs on reused boxes it never occurred to me that I would find something else inside that box. It dawned on me as soon as I saw the gift inside how the box had been too light and how it didn't rattle when I shook it in my excitement. Now, I had been needing a new winter coat (we were in a season of life when we bought all our clothes from the Salvation Army and my aunt was single so she was able to get my brother and me some new clothes at Christmas time) but I don't think I've ever been so disappointed to receive something I wanted. Every time I wore that coat that year I thought about how I thought I was getting some cassette drawers.

[Dindrane]

My family always reuses boxes when we've got some that are the right size, so that wouldn't throw me at all.

Even if I expect a gift to be what's pictured on the outside of a box, I always open it fairly directly just to be sure it's not broken or damaged or something.  Things get difficult to return or exchange if you wait too long, so if there's a problem with the item in question, I want to know as soon as possible.

[dietcokeofevil]

Archie McPhee has some fabulous fake-out gift boxes, including the Bacon Tuxedo, Gravy Fountain, Musical Tie of the Month, and Box of Hope.

Thank you so much for posting this site.  We have a family joke about how much my husband likes bacon.  I'm even getting him a membership to the bacon of the month club for Christmas.  Some of these items will make perfect stocking stuffers.

[Ceallach]

Huh, it had honestly never occurred to me that anyone habitually doesn't completely open gifts and check them out! (Not being snarky, genuinely surprised.) I can understand the couple in the OP being busy with tons of presents and wedding prep and just trying to get a working list of what they received to write thank you notes from, but when I get bday/Christmas/Chanukkah gifts, I always unwrap it, open the box, ooh and ah, etc.

I'd never really thought about it either until now, and then remembered the bathrobe example where I hadn't realised how awesome they were until a year later - I took all the wrapping off, but left on the store packaging (which was mainly clear plastic). I could see the colour, pattern, make, description, etc so I considered it 'open'.     I love gifts, and can't wait to unwrap them, but if I *thought* I'd reached the innermost layer of packaging I might stop if it weren't something I could use right away.   For example, if I were given an appliance as a christmas present but was at my parents house, I probably would leave it in the box until I got home.    Whether I pulled it out and looked at it closely would depend on whether the gift-giver were there (in which case I might want to ooh and aah more closely for their benefit, and they'd probably want to show me specific features etc).   Otherwise, I might just leave it in the packaging to avoid losing parts out of it or similar.