Author Topic: Another FB question  (Read 2104 times)

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MadMadge43

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Another FB question
« on: November 24, 2009, 11:17:05 PM »
There are a lot of these questions as we traverse this brave new world.

One of my closest friends is mad at me. It's a long stupid story, with her overreacting, but that's another story. She won't talk to me, but we're still friends on FB.

She posted that her cat of 15 years died and I wanted to send my condolences. She may be mad at me, but I know she loved her cat. But FB keeps telling me it can't be posted at this time and to try again later. But I can comment on other people's posts right above her.

So can she block me from posting on her page, while still pretending to everyone that we're friends?

Shopaholic

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2009, 12:04:01 AM »
I don't know the technical specifics of facebook, and if it allows you to view but not post (I'm guessing yes, but that's just a guess).

However, I wouldn't let a close friendship live or die by facebook.

If she's important to you, and you feel the need to console her, do so by another means (phone or even text message).  Conact from a close friend (even if she's mad at the moment) could be exactly what she needs. Maybe it will open the door for reconciliation.

DottyG

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2009, 12:21:24 AM »
I agree. This loss transcends FB. Call her. :(  (That makes me sad that she lost her kitty.)

Mel

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2009, 12:33:21 AM »
I've been getting that message while trying to reply to comments on my own statuses.  I think Facebook is just wonky right now.

Animala

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #4 on: November 25, 2009, 12:55:20 AM »
If you don't have permission to comment a comment box will not appear.

Traveler

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2009, 08:49:43 AM »
I have frequently had temporary problems accessing a friend's page, photos, or comments, and have gotten that (or similar) message.
I would think it is just a temporary problem.

It is possible to allow someone to be your friend and stop them from posting on your wall. But as a PP said, you would not see the box to add the comment. And I *think* that if you can read her status updates, you can comment on them. I don't see a place to block those separately.

O'Dell

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #6 on: November 25, 2009, 08:54:52 AM »
Facebook is wonky ATM. I think you should send a simple sympathy card. She can respond or not, but you've shown her that you care.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.
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ShadesOfGrey

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #7 on: November 25, 2009, 09:35:00 AM »
However, I wouldn't let a close friendship live or die by facebook.

If she's important to you, and you feel the need to console her, do so by another means (phone or even text message).  Conact from a close friend (even if she's mad at the moment) could be exactly what she needs. Maybe it will open the door for reconciliation.

agreed, esp. with the bolded. Send a card.
Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning. - Maya Angelou

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

TootsNYC

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2009, 10:12:23 AM »
FYI, all condolence messages should technically be sent by snail mail.

It's not generally possible to block that sort of mail--I'd vote for sitting down and writing her a five- or six-sentence note. (Tell her a story of a nice memory you have of her cat. Something funny it used to do, or a cute story she loved to tell, or something the cat did when it interacted with you. "Remember the time that he . . . " or "I always loved that story you told about him . . . ")

Aggiesque

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2009, 10:16:29 AM »
Facebook's been weird lately. Try again in a couple hours if you want to.

I'd call or drop off a card at her home about the cat:(
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kandikrisp

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #10 on: November 25, 2009, 10:22:56 AM »
There is a very high chance that this is simply what my friends and I call a Facebook!Fail.

I have dozens of people blocked, limited profiled, and put under specific limitations. If I refuse to let them comment, they cannot see to comment. If you can't write on my wall, you don't see my wall. If you can't comment my statuses, you can't see them. That's how the FB privacy settings work.

However, I get that notice a lot too. If you're really determined to do this over FB, try writing a message. It's more private anyway, and if you guys mend your differences long enough to express grief, she not want all of her friends to see just how much she's hurting.

I agree with PP's that say this goes beyond FB and deserves a phone call at least, but if you think she wouldn't pick up or would ignore a letter from you unless you left the return address off the letter, then the *only* good thing about doing it over a FB message is that you can include a subject that is seen as soon as she goes into her inbox and the first part of the message itself.

If this is the only way you think you can express condolence with her recieving the message, that makes the subject and first 30 or so characters extremely important.

But my vote is for a more personal method.

CreteGirl

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #11 on: November 25, 2009, 02:30:59 PM »
I think sending a card through the mail would go a long way to mending your friendship.  My cat just died and if someone had sent me a card I would have been seriously touched.

secretrebel

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Re: Another FB question
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2009, 07:52:22 AM »
I think sending a card through the mail would go a long way to mending your friendship.  My cat just died and if someone had sent me a card I would have been seriously touched.

I think sending a card is a good idea as well.

I'm sorry for your loss, CreteGirl. I remember how I felt when my cat died. I hope you have people looking after you.