General Etiquette > Techno-quette

"No cussing!" - Facebook style

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PeasNCues:
My cousin is in Afghanistan.

He is a married man in his 20s and lives in a different state than his parents when he is home. (this may or may not be important).

This is his second tour of duty in Afghanistan and he is in a very hot area that sees a lot of action. They recently lost some soldiers. His wife is also in another state from her family and very depressed and lets him know how lonely she is as often as possible (she has every right to be lonely, but I bet he's not having a grand time of it either and she is wanting all the comforting and is not being very supportive and makes him feel guilty about leaving).

In other words, he's got stress. His family knows this.

The other day, he had a bad day in Afghanistan. A bad day in Afghanistan is a BAD DAY!! He used an F-word on his wall about how frustrated and upset he was.

A few hours later, there was a post from his father, on his wall, right out there for everyone to see:

"Hang in there little buddy. You're upsetting your mother and I with your language. I'm not sure the Army has been a positive influence on you lately. Try to make the best of it"

I am not sure if this is as horrifying as it seems to me... when ShieldMaiden called me about it, I couldn't believe it. This is a man who is getting shot at every day and they are saying that the F word is upsetting to them?? "Try to make the best of it"? Am I over reacting?

I haven't responded to the post, I don't intend to. But would it be ok for me to PM something to cousin to say, "hey, don't worry about it, we love you and miss you and hope you are safe. If you need to vent, please don't hesistate, we understand"

Also, I feel that if he was in their home or around their kids (they have younger kids), then they could say, "hey, watch the language!" But he is a world away. What right have they to say, "no cussing in Afghanistan!"?

MariaE:
I think sending him a PM is a very thoughtful idea.

Miss March:
I agree with the instinct not to step between the exchanges between a father and son. Let's trust that they can speak to each other on this matter.

I do think sending him a private message of encouragement would be a nice thing to do.

MDefarge:
His dad is out of his mind.  The BF was in Iraq and when I read him this post his mind was as blown as mine, like seriously?  Your kid is getting shot at daily & you're going to berate him because he was cursing on his facebook? Uh yeah that so does not work for me.  I'd definitely send him a message - heck I'd probably post it on his wall saying how proud I was of him and how totally understandable it is that he is so upset/frustrated.

ShadesOfGrey:
I think the parents were out of line andy ou should send him a PM.  But not comment on his post let that disappear downt he wall...

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