Author Topic: Deflecting hometown questions...  (Read 15061 times)

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Suze

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #30 on: December 11, 2009, 05:43:07 PM »
Person: No I mean... WHAT are you?

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I don't think that they will ask you THAT again.
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whiterose

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #31 on: December 12, 2009, 05:07:08 PM »
Yup, I have been asked "what are you" (in order to inquire about my hometown/ethnic background) too many times. I am tempted to tell them "I am a girl" or "I am a human being". It does get tiring.

Once a professor pointed out that she was happy that in the class this time they had someone from a different culture (meaning me). I was not offended, but I was wondering "are you talking about ME? Is it really THAT different? does it count?". But she was always respectful and polite, never said anything negative about this vital statistic, and only brought it up when necessary and relevant. As compared to that lab manager who blamed my having difficulty learning the ropes on "cultural expectations" and that "not only was I not fitting in the lab, but I did not fit in the USA period, and that I might as well go back to where I came from"  >:( :( :'(

I am not sure why people are so fascinated and perplexed by this. Lavenders and Purples in general are not uncommon where I live. I wonder if it is the cognitive dissonance of accent not matching hometown or what.
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Red1979

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #32 on: December 12, 2009, 09:22:04 PM »
Yup, I have been asked "what are you" (in order to inquire about my hometown/ethnic background) too many times. I am tempted to tell them "I am a girl" or "I am a human being". It does get tiring.

Once a professor pointed out that she was happy that in the class this time they had someone from a different culture (meaning me). I was not offended, but I was wondering "are you talking about ME? Is it really THAT different? does it count?". But she was always respectful and polite, never said anything negative about this vital statistic, and only brought it up when necessary and relevant. As compared to that lab manager who blamed my having difficulty learning the ropes on "cultural expectations" and that "not only was I not fitting in the lab, but I did not fit in the USA period, and that I might as well go back to where I came from"  >:( :( :'(

I am not sure why people are so fascinated and perplexed by this. Lavenders and Purples in general are not uncommon where I live. I wonder if it is the cognitive dissonance of accent not matching hometown or what.

Not sure if this will make you feel better...

In a dance class, on St. Patrick's day someone asked me "so are you Irish or Jewish?"  My answer was "neither."  He said "well you're a redhead and most are Irish or Jewish".  I answered that I'm Italian.  I often get mistaken for being Irish or Scottish.

These kinds of things happen to all of us--they just go with whatever your prominent "unusual" feature is.  Your accent/background is unusual so you'll get comments.  They aren't singling you out and its not uncommon.  At some point it happens to everyone.
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moimoi

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2009, 03:30:21 PM »
I have plenty well-defined (and well-deserved  ;)) stereotypes of people where I currently live, but it is a small town & they are the subsequent usual stereotypes.  I have friends who live all over & for the life of me, I cannot fathom where on earth in the states you would have such difficulty with the reputation of your "birth city" staining people's perceptions of you to the degree you describe.  Am I completely dense in not catching the Lavendar, Purples, Vert, etcetera allusions?

Red1979

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2009, 03:32:29 PM »
I have plenty well-defined (and well-deserved  ;)) stereotypes of people where I currently live, but it is a small town & they are the subsequent usual stereotypes.  I have friends who live all over & for the life of me, I cannot fathom where on earth in the states you would have such difficulty with the reputation of your "birth city" staining people's perceptions of you to the degree you describe.  Am I completely dense in not catching the Lavendar, Purples, Vert, etcetera allusions?

I get confused too.  I understand why alternate names are used in certain instances, but in threads like these where it would make things a lot easier to understand, I'd prefer people just use the real places.
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Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #35 on: December 14, 2009, 08:22:42 PM »
I have plenty well-defined (and well-deserved  ;)) stereotypes of people where I currently live, but it is a small town & they are the subsequent usual stereotypes.  I have friends who live all over & for the life of me, I cannot fathom where on earth in the states you would have such difficulty with the reputation of your "birth city" staining people's perceptions of you to the degree you describe.  Am I completely dense in not catching the Lavendar, Purples, Vert, etcetera allusions?

I get confused too.  I understand why alternate names are used in certain instances, but in threads like these where it would make things a lot easier to understand, I'd prefer people just use the real places.

Me too. I find it kind of ironic that you made a thread about trying to avoid talking about where you're from, but the euphemisms you're using are making people curious. I think that might be happening with other people IRL too. Being mysterious about your hometown makes people more curious about it, not less.

whiterose

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #36 on: December 15, 2009, 07:39:28 AM »
And the answers to the euphemisms:

Purple- the language spoken as a first language in the most countries in the world, as well as an umbrella term created by the US Census (I think) to designate people whose ancestry came from one or more countries that spoke this language. Countries near each other (a large part of the world) that speak Purple are designated as Purple World.

Grapeland- the mother country of the Purple World, where the Purple language originated.

Lavenderland- the USA took it away from Grapeland and still has it.

Since people here use euphemisms so often, I decided to use them as well. Don't know how relevant the specific countries and languages are.
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Larrabee

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #37 on: December 15, 2009, 10:26:04 AM »
And the answers to the euphemisms:

Purple- the language spoken as a first language in the most countries in the world, as well as an umbrella term created by the US Census (I think) to designate people whose ancestry came from one or more countries that spoke this language. Countries near each other (a large part of the world) that speak Purple are designated as Purple World.

Grapeland- the mother country of the Purple World, where the Purple language originated.

Lavenderland- the USA took it away from Grapeland and still has it.

Since people here use euphemisms so often, I decided to use them as well. Don't know how relevant the specific countries and languages are.

Sorry, but that didn't exactly clear it up for me!  I'm pretty sure I know the first two but I'm not from the US so I'm stuck on where Lavenderland is still!

Red1979

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #38 on: December 15, 2009, 10:46:58 AM »
And the answers to the euphemisms:

Purple- the language spoken as a first language in the most countries in the world, as well as an umbrella term created by the US Census (I think) to designate people whose ancestry came from one or more countries that spoke this language. Countries near each other (a large part of the world) that speak Purple are designated as Purple World.

Grapeland- the mother country of the Purple World, where the Purple language originated.

Lavenderland- the USA took it away from Grapeland and still has it.

Since people here use euphemisms so often, I decided to use them as well. Don't know how relevant the specific countries and languages are.

The reason why I personally think just revealing the locations would be helpful in your posts, is because this is something you frequently post about and its hard for us to understand the stereotypes or the issues associated without knowing the affiliations.  The euphemisms on this board are typically used to hide things that aren't pertinent to the discussion and could derail the thread--like debating the merits of X religion or Y political party. 

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Jaymes

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #39 on: December 15, 2009, 10:52:17 AM »
You know, I think everybody has some version of this to deal with.  People just naturally make assumptions.  It's part of getting to know one another.  Especially if you're talking about the possibility of making a romantic connection.

So you're very tall - "Did you play basketball?  What's the weather like up there?"

Very short - "Why do short girls always take all the tall guys?"

Very fat - "I lost a lot of weight on Jennie Craig; have you tried that?"

Very thin - "Are you anorexic?"

Black, white, yellow, red, brown, accent...something different from whatever you are...you name your question.

As for me, I was a military brat.  Born in Spokane, Washington, USA.  Lived there maybe a couple of months, I don't really know.  Met my career military husband in the Philippines.  I've lived all over the world, from Hong Kong to Germany, from Alaska to Panama.  I've moved nearly 40 times in my life, never staying in one place more than a few years.

When people ask where I'm from, I never know what to say.  If I tell them the truth, "Nowhere and everywhere - we're a military family."  I have to listen to whatever their particular political prejudices are and they're often quite ignorant and judgmental and rude.  

It's easy for us all to believe that we're the only ones dealing with these problems and be defensive and rude and smart-alecky right back.

But I've found that's never the way to go.

It's best to just say something innocuous from the getgo.  Like, "I've moved a lot but I'm from here now and I really like the people around here, so I'm planning to stay."

And that's what I'd advise you...

"My family is originally from Lavenderland and I know I still have the accent, but we moved here when I was quite small, so I don't remember much about it.  I'm from here now..."


« Last Edit: December 15, 2009, 11:37:32 AM by Jaymes »

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #40 on: December 15, 2009, 11:40:22 AM »
And the answers to the euphemisms:

Purple- the language spoken as a first language in the most countries in the world, as well as an umbrella term created by the US Census (I think) to designate people whose ancestry came from one or more countries that spoke this language. Countries near each other (a large part of the world) that speak Purple are designated as Purple World.

Grapeland- the mother country of the Purple World, where the Purple language originated.

Lavenderland- the USA took it away from Grapeland and still has it.

Since people here use euphemisms so often, I decided to use them as well. Don't know how relevant the specific countries and languages are.

Sounds to me like "Arabic."  And "Muslim World."  And "Iraq."

And if that's right, I can see why it would make things more difficult.

I will add that I have a good friend to whom this all applies.  Whenever she's asked where she's from, she says Lebanon.  When I asked her why, she just shrugged and said, "Makes things easier. Nobody ever has any questions about Lebanon."




« Last Edit: December 15, 2009, 11:57:50 AM by Jaymes »

whiterose

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #41 on: December 15, 2009, 11:56:17 AM »
Nope, though Purple = Latin x Arabic x mysterious language isolate.
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Jaymes

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #42 on: December 15, 2009, 12:01:46 PM »
..."mysterious language isolate"?

I'll tell you one thing.

You're a hoot.  I wish you were my friend.




 

sparksals

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #43 on: December 15, 2009, 12:07:41 PM »
I'm very confused, to be honest.  I can see why you may be experiencing problems in social situations if you are as vague in person as in this thread.  From your explanation of the euphemisms, I have absolutely no idea what any of them are.  I'm not from the US, but live here.

Edited to correct spelling.

Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #44 on: December 15, 2009, 12:11:00 PM »
Sounds like Spanish to me. I know that Spanish has both Latin and Arabic influence.