Author Topic: Deflecting hometown questions...  (Read 16060 times)

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Jaymes

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #45 on: December 15, 2009, 12:12:43 PM »
I'm very confused, to be honest.  I can see why you may be experiencing problems in social situations if you are as vague in person as in this thread.  From your explanation of the euphemisms, I have absolutely no idea what any of them are.  

Is confusing, but a kind of intriguing puzzle.

The language spoken by the most people is Chinese.  Spanish is second.

But the language spoken as the first language in the most countries is Arabic.  24.  I think, anyway.

And I've never heard countries in which Spanish is spoken referred to as "Spanish World."

Not sure what any of this has to do with the original conundrum but, like I said, an intriguing puzzle nonetheless.

Hard to imagine that being from Puerto Rico would be some huge issue.




« Last Edit: December 15, 2009, 12:58:28 PM by Jaymes »

Veronica

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #46 on: December 15, 2009, 12:17:53 PM »
OP- you are way overcomplicating this.  For some reason I always thought you were Hispanic and born in Mexico.  If this is how you're acting with your dates it might not be that they care at all about your ancestry, just that they think you're acting really, really odd about it. 

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whiterose

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #47 on: December 15, 2009, 12:24:32 PM »
Red is right.  ;D

The US's southern neighbor's euphemism is Indigoland. :D
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Red1979

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #48 on: December 15, 2009, 12:30:42 PM »
Whiterose,

I think you need to step back a bit.  Most people are not going to realize that being from Puerto Rico (which is a part of the US) is such a sensitive issue.  While I could see some heritages and ancestry being problematic due to current military conflicts or political divides--Puerto Rico is just not one of them.  And in Florida, being of latin descent is incredibly common.

I think perhaps what is happening is that people are extremely puzzled that you are acting so oddly about your background.  If I met you and found out you grew up in Puerto Rico, I'd probably say "I've heard it's very beautiful there and a nice vacation spot."  According to your posts that comment would make you very paranoid and uncomfortable.  Then I'd start to wonder what was going on and I'd be quite confused.
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Jaymes

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #49 on: December 15, 2009, 12:31:56 PM »
Red is right.  ;D

The US's southern neighbor's euphemism is Indigoland. :D

Whew.  Thank God that's settled!



whiterose

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #50 on: December 15, 2009, 12:52:40 PM »
Whiterose,

I think you need to step back a bit.  Most people are not going to realize that being from Puerto Rico (which is a part of the US) is such a sensitive issue.  While I could see some heritages and ancestry being problematic due to current military conflicts or political divides--Puerto Rico is just not one of them.  And in Florida, being of latin descent is incredibly common.

I think perhaps what is happening is that people are extremely puzzled that you are acting so oddly about your background.  If I met you and found out you grew up in Puerto Rico, I'd probably say "I've heard it's very beautiful there and a nice vacation spot."  According to your posts that comment would make you very paranoid and uncomfortable.  Then I'd start to wonder what was going on and I'd be quite confused.


Not if that was all I heard. If they say that, I will say yes it is nice to visit, that I prefer living here, and bean dip.

Problem is that random people stereotype (or worse). I do not know if it is cognitive dissonance or what.
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Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #51 on: December 15, 2009, 12:59:48 PM »
Well, there are stereotypes about all people from every walk of life. People with glasses, office workers, musicians, redheads, politicians, homemakers, librarians, bankers, actors, people with tattoos, women who wear skirts, women who wear pants, men with long hair, whatever. If you have any identifying details about you at all, some one will probably use it to jump to conclusions about you. Probably without even realizing it. And there's nothing you can do about that. As people get to know you, they will realize that their preconceived notions are false. If they hang onto them, despite knowing you well enough to realize they're wrong, that's when you know that the person may not be worth knowing.

Hanna

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #52 on: December 15, 2009, 01:04:21 PM »
Sheesh - I thought you were from someplace where they eat their young from the description.
I'm not sure what there is negative to say about Puerto Rico.  It sounds like a lovely place to me.
It seems you are experiencing what all of us regularly experience when we move from one place to another.

I am from Kentucky.  I can tell you at least 6 negative stereotypes of the place.  When someone mentions that I must not have worn shoes, or must be poorly educated I smile and play along with it.  But I know that what their comment is telling me is all about them, rather than about my beautiful homestate.


Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #53 on: December 15, 2009, 01:16:01 PM »
Hanna, I think it's less that people think negative things about Puerto Rico specifically and more like, "Puerto Rican, eh? Yowza! I hear the chicks are spicy there!"

camlan

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #54 on: December 15, 2009, 01:21:51 PM »
Until the recent updates, I was thinking whiterose might be from Cuba. I could sort of understand getting questions about how one was able to leave Cuba and get to the US. I'm a little surprised that being Puerto Rican causes so many problems in Florida. I thought there was a fairly large population of Puerto Ricans in Florida?

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sparksals

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #55 on: December 15, 2009, 01:25:54 PM »
Whiterose,

I think you need to step back a bit.  Most people are not going to realize that being from Puerto Rico (which is a part of the US) is such a sensitive issue.  While I could see some heritages and ancestry being problematic due to current military conflicts or political divides--Puerto Rico is just not one of them.  And in Florida, being of latin descent is incredibly common.

I think perhaps what is happening is that people are extremely puzzled that you are acting so oddly about your background.  If I met you and found out you grew up in Puerto Rico, I'd probably say "I've heard it's very beautiful there and a nice vacation spot."  According to your posts that comment would make you very paranoid and uncomfortable.  Then I'd start to wonder what was going on and I'd be quite confused.


Not if that was all I heard. If they say that, I will say yes it is nice to visit, that I prefer living here, and bean dip.

Problem is that random people stereotype (or worse). I do not know if it is cognitive dissonance or what.

I have an accent, so I'm told.  People are genuinely curious.  Sure, I get some of the standard 'eh' and 'aboot' jokes which do wear thin, but they all come from interest and genuine kindness.  I would think very odd your reaction to the questions which are a normal part of making conversation, getting to know you, breaking the ice thing.  

It sounds like you are the one making this a big deal, not the person asking about it.

Hanna

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #56 on: December 15, 2009, 01:38:03 PM »
Hanna, I think it's less that people think negative things about Puerto Rico specifically and more like, "Puerto Rican, eh? Yowza! I hear the chicks are spicy there!"
I think I must be remembering something from an old thread where whiterose indicated her hometown had a bad reputation.
Honestly, I've been curious since then.

shhh its me

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #57 on: December 15, 2009, 02:07:01 PM »
   I also agree actually knowing where we were talking about wold help ....just to pick random offensive stereotype vs actual conversation vs clueless 

Oh your from Russia were you a mail order bride?  what was it like being a child while so many vast political changes were happening ? What stuff did you have to trade for bluejeans ? (in 80's it was common knowledge that bluejeans were highly traded black-market item)

Trying to be so vague , there's normal ice breaking/getting to know you conversation then there's odd stereotypes and there's blatant bigotry, we're having to imagine so much of the conversation that it's actually hard to tell and form an answer.

the context of the questions matter too , dodging a question will just get more curiosity back.  How much of an answer you can get away with depends on who's asking.   



whiterose

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #58 on: December 16, 2009, 11:58:02 AM »
Well, today somebody asked me after I helped her at the library.

I gave the answer directly and matter of fact- but in a very stern tone and with a square face. She asked how long had I been here in the USA, and I replied "14 years and I am very happy here".

Transaction ended. We wished each other to have a nice day.

Maybe someone here thought I was from Cuba (euphemized as Lilacland) because in another thread I mentioned that I had cooked black beans and rice. I have been given other reasons for this assumption IRL- usually pertaining to my fair skin and Masters degree leading the person to assume automatically I am from the most affluent of the groups in the umbrella category.
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camlan

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Re: Deflecting hometown questions...
« Reply #59 on: December 16, 2009, 12:23:41 PM »
Well, today somebody asked me after I helped her at the library.

I gave the answer directly and matter of fact- but in a very stern tone and with a square face. She asked how long had I been here in the USA, and I replied "14 years and I am very happy here".

Transaction ended. We wished each other to have a nice day.

Maybe someone here thought I was from Cuba (euphemized as Lilacland) because in another thread I mentioned that I had cooked black beans and rice. I have been given other reasons for this assumption IRL- usually pertaining to my fair skin and Masters degree leading the person to assume automatically I am from the most affluent of the groups in the umbrella category.

I thought you might be from Cuba not because of the black beans and rice, but because of the language (Spanish is very widely spoken around the world), the reference to the tropics and the bit about women swaying their hips, which is sort of a Caribbean stereotype. Add in the men having issues with where you came from, and my top guess was Cuba, partly because I just didn't think anyone would have issues with someone coming from PR. I think I may also have been influenced by things you've said in other threads, as well, but I can't remember specifics.

In my experience, lots of ethnic cuisines cook beans and rice--Mexican, Puerto Rican, Spanish and probably others that I can't recall right now. The only thing "beans and rice" would suggest to me would be Hispanic, and since that covers Spain, most of South America, parts of the Caribbean, Mexico and Puerto Rico, it doesn't help much in narrowing things down. And there are also a lot of non-Hispanic people who cook beans and rice. I do at least twice a month and I'm Scotch/Irish.

Your accent makes you stand out a bit, especially if, as I gather, it is also influenced by some other language/country that one of your parents is from? Unfortunately, people ask about things that make you different. My nephew gets asked about his wheelchair and why he has one. I have a scar on my chin and sometimes perfect strangers ask me how I got it. The questioners aren't always polite, either.

I do think that most people are just curious about where your accent comes from. I'm sorry you have to deal with people who make judgments about you based on your accent, but perhaps you could use the accent as a sort of early warning system? It helps to clue you in to those people who you really don't want to spend much time with, anyway, because by stereotyping you because of your accent, they have revealed themselves and their true colors.

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