General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Question about facebook statuses and responses

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Larrabee:
A lot of people on my friends list seem to use their facebook status to let the wotld know if they're feeling down, if they've had a bad week or are just generally feeling sorry for themselves.  I'm not a huge fan of these statuses, they seem to be attention seeking and whiney and not really the best way to make yourself feel better!  

So I just don't respond to these statuses at all, but I've noticed that some people feel the need to try and make the poster feel guilty for feeling bad! An example from yesterday

Status:  Lucy is feeling really down, can't wait for this year to finally be over
Comment 1:  If you saw the people I see everyday at work you'd realise how lucky you are
Comment 2:  Yeah, try to remember there's always someone worse off.

These comments really rub me the wrong way!  They're not helpful, they're not supportive.  Are they rude?  Or is the original status rude?

Nurvingiel:
I hate that type of comment with the fire of a thousand burning white-hot suns.

If I say, "I am sad." And someone says, "So many people have it worse, you're lucky!" I will then think, "Oh my God I am lucky. What is wrong with me that I'm sad? Right now there are homeless people sleeping outside and it's -10C!"

Then I feel really badly for the people worse off than I and I end up feeling worse.

I beat myself up enough about how I have no right to be depressed, I don't need any help.  ::) <-- at myself.

This is the least comforting comment ever. It should never be said. Better to say nothing at all. (This is one of the many reasons I don't post "I am sad" updates.)

Fluffy Cat:
Its really hard to judge rudeness if you don't know what the relationship between two people is like.  I have witnessed someone taking offense to their friend's friend before on a wall post, and it was not pretty.  I make it a habit not to get into any type of debate on anyone else's wall.  So basically, all you can do is ignore, and don't make assumptions.

Larrabee:
Oh I do ignore, I very rarely comment on anyone's status actually and usually only my closest friends and when its safe ground, nothing too personal or charged.

I just feel a bit sorry for the original poster, we all know there are always people worse off but everybody still has the right to be sad sometimes. 

Bob Ducca:
It is so easy to just scroll past without comment, I do think it is rude to intentionally say something offensive or pot-stirring unless that particular friend likes debate.

I think, though, it is inherently rude to respond to an expression of emotion with "You shouldn't/don't have any right to feel that way."

I'm angry: You can't be angry, that's just how he is.
I'm sad: You can't be sad, you have a good life.
I'm bored: You can't be bored, there's too much to do.
I'm happy: You can't be happy, there's too much wrong with you.

So, I'm going to say this particular example was rude x2.  I don't like terribly personal or "whiny" status updates, either, but there are some people who may genuinely need the support of their Facebook friends.  I probably won't respond, but what purpose does "You shouldn't be sad, your house has electricity!" serve?

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