Coworker family funeral - please move if not in right folder

[HogwartsAlum]

My coworker's mom died Tuesday.  We don't work extremely closely together, but it's not a big company (about 50 people or so).  He's sort of higher up than me and we don't really know each other well, but he's very nice. 

My boss just emailed the arrangements to everyone, because apparently people have asked when/where, etc.

My question is, do I need to go?  I signed the card and all, but I feel funny going to a funeral for someone I never met.   I did that once before at another job when a sales rep's daughter died, but I had met her once while she was living.  I just feel funny about it.

Any thoughts? 

Edited to add:  I get sort of emotional when people cry, and I dont' want to make a spectacle of myself either.

[kareng57]

No, I don't think that you need to feel obligated to go.  You'd likely want to go if you were quite close to the co-worker (even if you'd never met his mother) but that doesn't seem to be the case.

My guess is that the boss probably e-mailed everyone simply because he/she didn't know exactly who was and who was not good friends with the coworker.

[Suze]

You could do what I do and slip into the viewing and sign the book, say the "I'm sorry for your loss" statements, and skip the services.

You can show your support that way and not be overwhelmed by a family of strangers grieving.  

[dawbs]

If you think it would be good for co-worker to have you there, then consider going.

(it depends entirely on the person...I wouldn't want co-workers to attend, funerals are hard enough w/o that added layer of "professionalism" being thrown into the mix)

The information was sent out for those who want to go to support co-worker and those who want to send flowers and the like (time and place is important for that).

But with the situation you're in (being sensitive to such situations and not being close to coworker) I'd think you're better off not going.

[Slartibartfast]

You are *never* obligated to go to a funeral, especially for someone you don't know.  The whole point of the funeral and visitation is to comfort the people who are still alive and mourning the deceased's loss, and if you're not mourning, you have to choose whether your presence would be a) good or bad for those who are, and b) worth your time.  If you aren't all that close to your coworker or his mom, I don't see why you should have to go - I would assume the email was just for anyone who was interested, no obligation necessary.

[JoyinVirginia]

If you signed the card, that should be sufficient. I second the idea to go to the funeral home at the viewing and sign the register. You can stay just a few minutes then leave. When my dad died two of my coworkers who I was close with, but who had never met him, drove over an hour to attend the service. We had a big crowd there but having their support was very nice and much appreciated. However - if they had NOT attended, there were so many people and so much to do, I wouldn't have thought twice about it.
Joy in Virginia

[HogwartsAlum]

Thanks to everyone for your advice.  I don't think I'll go even to the viewing; I'll just tell my coworker how sorry I am when he comes back.  I already wrote in the card to just let me know if I can help with anything.  Then if he delegates any tasks to me I can just do that for him.

It's a tough thing to lose your mom, but especially at Christmas.

[JudiAU]

No, I don't feel that you are obligated to go. You and your boss have a professional relationship only and you did not know his mother.