General Etiquette > Family and Children

Christmas family question

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theresa:
Usually we do Christmas Eve with dh's family, Christmas with mine. Due to circumstances we will not be attending MIL's Xmas EVE, rather she will come over the day before that. Part of the reason is we are not speaking to dh's brother due to some things he did to us and last year at her place went not well. So it will be just MIL coming over (she is widowed and BIL-we are not talking to and there is no other family on dh's side).
 
I am wondering if it would be rude to invite my parents over also. I was thinking we could do the gifts exchange with MIL at 1pm and have my family come when we are done that. I think if I am cooking anyway, why not?

However I don't know how MIL will view this. Will she think I am encroahing on the "jones" family party by inviting the "smiths''?

LollyBee:
Ask her?  How recently was she widowed?  Becasue if it was recentlyish, will she feel left out with you & DH, & your parents being couples & her on her own?  But if she knows your parents & gets on with them, it would probably take away the reminder that BIL isn't there, & help it be an enjoyable time for you all.

theresa:
She was widowed 8 years ago and she will be having BIL over Christmas Eve. I don't want to ask her because I do not get along with her and try to keep communication  to a minimum.

Lisbeth:
I don't see any reason why you can't invite your family to your house.  It's your house-you get to decide who is invited.

If your MIL doesn't want to accept your invitation for any reason, it's her choice.  If she declines, I'd wish her a Merry Christmas and let it go at that.

sammycat:
If your parents and MIL all get along with each other then I see no reason not to invite your parents on the day before Xmas Eve.  Alternatively, could your MIL come over on Christmas Day when your parents are present?  I understand what you are saying by not wanting to be seen as encroaching on your MIL's visit, but ultimately it's your house, and as long as everyone gets on, the you and DH can decide the guest list.

And good on you for setting boundaries by not visiting with your BIL after he treated badly.

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