General Etiquette > Techno-quette

Wait...those are my pictures, but where am I? Facebook

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smidget23:
BG: Ex and I were together for about two years total. There were a few breaks where we had to take time to work on issues that came up. The last one was in march. We were planning a wedding when he decided that we wouldn't work and called things off. I respected his decision as much as I still don't like it. He started seeing another girl the following week. All I asked was that since he wanted to remain friends, that he give me time and space to heal.

So yesterday I logged onto my facebook to upload some new pictures. I noticed that one of my albums looked weird. Apparently he had untagged himself in it. That's fine. It's his choice. He and I had a slight disagreement earlier this week, so I thought that it might have been related to that. So I checked to see if we were still friends. We were. I was planning on sending him a message telling him that I was sorry that he was upset, but that I hoped we could put everything behind us, blah blah blah. Anyways, when I glanced at his wall, I noticed that he had been tagged in the same photos that he had untagged himself in. Except that now, I was cut out of the photos. The tagger was his new girlfriend. The album was titled sometime similar to "our dates". For the record, the photos weren't anything couple-ish. I had taken down anything remotely similar to that after we split. They were just us on hikes or standing in front of various locations or doing stupid things with MY friends.

While I know that they are photos of HIM, and that I did have him tagged in them, they still contain pictures of MY friends and they were taken with MY camera and put on MY page. She was not around to be in the photos, or know other occupants of them. I do not know her, nor do I have any desire at this time to get to know her.

All in all, the situation feels immature and I hate the fact that I'm so upset and angry over it, but I am. So my question is: Is this something that I should just gripe/joke about with close friends about and hopefully soon forget, or is this something that I should ask him to remove? I've talked to one of the girls that is in the photo and she was more outraged on my behalf than she was on hers. I also went ahead and removed him from all other photos that I had tagged of him, as well as took him off my friends list (which really was a long time in coming).

Hanna:
Wah?
She downloaded your pictures, modified them and put them on her own account?
What a weirdo.

greenleafmountain:
Wow, that is SO WEIRD! I could see him taking a copy of the pictures, because maybe he still wants to remember that time you two hiked Machu Picchu (or whatever) but why on earth would she want pictures of her boyfriend doing things with his ex, from events where she wasn't even present?  Unless I'm misunderstanding and he has uploaded them, and she just tagged him in pictures on his own page?  It's still really really strange.  Since they are your pictures, I think you can say something to him about it.

 Maybe send a message along the lines of: "Hey ex, I see that you put up copies of some of my pictures.  I don't mind if you untag yourself from my albums or take copies of the pictures that you are in, but please don't edit me out of my own photographs.  If you want to put them up, please leave them whole and intact, the way I took them.  Thanks! -smidget"

If he (or she, I'm still not sure who has them up) doesn't fix them then report it to facebook.  It may violate facebook policies to take a photograph from someone else and use it in a way the original person objects to...

Surianne:
It's very strange, but I would just leave it alone. 

Wavicle:
I think that all you can do is keep this in mind next time you post pictures (change the privacy setting maybe?). If it really bothers you, i would send them a PM and ask them politely to remove your photos, but I think you would have to accept a no and it may just feed drama.

MeanWave would be very tempted to comment "Yes, that was a fun night with my friends. I am glad that you can appreciate photos from before Ex and you were dating." That wouldn't really be appropriate though. As a more subtle way of saying "I saw that you did that" you could like the posts of the photos/his tagging if you can. That may still be crossing a line though, I'm not sure if that is MeanWave being sneaky  ;)

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