Wait...those are my pictures, but where am I? Facebook

[smidget23]

BG: Ex and I were together for about two years total. There were a few breaks where we had to take time to work on issues that came up. The last one was in march. We were planning a wedding when he decided that we wouldn't work and called things off. I respected his decision as much as I still don't like it. He started seeing another girl the following week. All I asked was that since he wanted to remain friends, that he give me time and space to heal.

So yesterday I logged onto my facebook to upload some new pictures. I noticed that one of my albums looked weird. Apparently he had untagged himself in it. That's fine. It's his choice. He and I had a slight disagreement earlier this week, so I thought that it might have been related to that. So I checked to see if we were still friends. We were. I was planning on sending him a message telling him that I was sorry that he was upset, but that I hoped we could put everything behind us, blah blah blah. Anyways, when I glanced at his wall, I noticed that he had been tagged in the same photos that he had untagged himself in. Except that now, I was cut out of the photos. The tagger was his new girlfriend. The album was titled sometime similar to "our dates". For the record, the photos weren't anything couple-ish. I had taken down anything remotely similar to that after we split. They were just us on hikes or standing in front of various locations or doing stupid things with MY friends.

While I know that they are photos of HIM, and that I did have him tagged in them, they still contain pictures of MY friends and they were taken with MY camera and put on MY page. She was not around to be in the photos, or know other occupants of them. I do not know her, nor do I have any desire at this time to get to know her.

All in all, the situation feels immature and I hate the fact that I'm so upset and angry over it, but I am. So my question is: Is this something that I should just gripe/joke about with close friends about and hopefully soon forget, or is this something that I should ask him to remove? I've talked to one of the girls that is in the photo and she was more outraged on my behalf than she was on hers. I also went ahead and removed him from all other photos that I had tagged of him, as well as took him off my friends list (which really was a long time in coming).

[Hanna]

Wah?
She downloaded your pictures, modified them and put them on her own account?
What a weirdo.

[greenleafmountain]

Wow, that is SO WEIRD! I could see him taking a copy of the pictures, because maybe he still wants to remember that time you two hiked Machu Picchu (or whatever) but why on earth would she want pictures of her boyfriend doing things with his ex, from events where she wasn't even present?  Unless I'm misunderstanding and he has uploaded them, and she just tagged him in pictures on his own page?  It's still really really strange.  Since they are your pictures, I think you can say something to him about it.

 Maybe send a message along the lines of: "Hey ex, I see that you put up copies of some of my pictures.  I don't mind if you untag yourself from my albums or take copies of the pictures that you are in, but please don't edit me out of my own photographs.  If you want to put them up, please leave them whole and intact, the way I took them.  Thanks! -smidget"

If he (or she, I'm still not sure who has them up) doesn't fix them then report it to facebook.  It may violate facebook policies to take a photograph from someone else and use it in a way the original person objects to...

[Surianne]

It's very strange, but I would just leave it alone. 

[Wavicle]

I think that all you can do is keep this in mind next time you post pictures (change the privacy setting maybe?). If it really bothers you, i would send them a PM and ask them politely to remove your photos, but I think you would have to accept a no and it may just feed drama.

MeanWave would be very tempted to comment "Yes, that was a fun night with my friends. I am glad that you can appreciate photos from before Ex and you were dating." That wouldn't really be appropriate though. As a more subtle way of saying "I saw that you did that" you could like the posts of the photos/his tagging if you can. That may still be crossing a line though, I'm not sure if that is MeanWave being sneaky  

[gibsongirl]

The person who takes the photos, owns the photos.  I'd send him a message politely asking him to ask her to take them down, and to not do that again. 

What nerve!!!   

[kherbert05]

This is what I would do
1. Message the person who owns the album the altered versions of your pictures are in. Tell them they have X time to remove the pictures. I would be very formal.

2. After X time I would report them to Facebook for copyright violation.

[smidget23]

Thanks everyone for the replies.  I didn't know that I could I could notify facebook for this situation. It does make me feel better. I'm still debating on whether or not I want to talk to her about it or even him. From what I've heard, she's not the most stable person and lately, he hasn't been either. I think I may just notify facebook and let things fall where they may.

[greenleafmountain]

yeah, that's probably the safest option.  If you go that route, I would add both of them to your block list for good measure...

[Shoo]

Wah?
She downloaded your pictures, modified them and put them on her own account?
What a weirdo.

Yeah, that is so weird!

When you upload photos, there is a box that asks if you have the right to upload these photos.  Obviously, she didn't have the right (they weren't HER photos), so she has broken FB rules, and I think you should report her.

[RedRuby]

Downloading your photos, cropping you out, then reloading them is creepy. You are well within your rights to notify FB about it.

[libraryliz]

This is my take:  She wanted to assert that he was HERS and put things under control.  She didn't like him appearing on your facebook page, or when people looked at photos from his page, that they were clearly albums/photos you'd put up.

The sane-ish approach: Honey, it's a big odd that you're ex's pics show up so prominently on your page, can you please untag yourself?

She went the next step.  They're clearly good pictures, a hike, things he wants to remember, so he might have reluctance, "but hey then people can't see how cool I am for having hiked!" so she put them up on HER page with you edited out and tagged him.  Now when people go to his facebook page, they see the photos but they're not associated with you, they're associated with HER and she asserts her control/possesion of him.  KWIM?  It's about her insecurities, especially if you were together for years, planning a wedding, etc.

Notify facebook.

[BettyDraper]

Downloading your photos, cropping you out, then reloading them is creepy. You are well within your rights to notify FB about it.

Legally she may be within her rights but staying out of the fray might be the more dignified route for the OP.  Are these just casual snapshots?  (I.e. not professional photos from the OP's portfolio, but just pix that the ex-couple took together on outings?)

If so I'd say the guy who's a subject in them should be (socially, if not legally) able to use his portion of the shots without being reported to Facebook.  Why be dog-in-the-mangerish about it?  It's too bad the OP was jilted but unless he did something way more heinous than break off an engagement I don't see the point in depriving him the parts of the pix he was in.  It's odd that the new girlfriend posted them but in the grand scheme of things, why worry?  Maybe it would help to defriend this guy for a while so that the constant reminders of the defunct relationship are not popping up. 

[smidget23]

Betty, I had no problem that he had them on his page. He was in them. I made the choice to leave them up and to keep him tagged in them.

I am just weirded out and quite frankly pissed off by the fact that while HE took them off HIS page, someone cropped me out of the pictures (not an easy task), uploaded them to HER page, and CLAIMED them as hers ( through the title of the album and comments on them about the fun things they've done and seen together). I can understand her wanting pictures of her boyfriend on her page, and yeah, some of them are good pictures, but cameras aren't that hard to come by. He has a camera phone.

The pics are a mix of casual and formal shots. The locations are not places that they have ever been together (as they are in CO and the photos were taken in AR/TN) and the other people in the shots are not people that she has ever met. The whole situation is just weird.

Really though, it's out of my hands. Once I de-friended him, I lost the link to her photo album and can't report the photos. Oh well. Water under the bridge.

[Deetee]

It is weird alright, but I do not think you should do anything about it. The pictures do not harm you and it does not seem worth the effort of getting all legal about it. It strikes me as morally off, but not legally wrong (though I have no legal training at all)

Ignore, complain to close friends, post on ehell.

It is a great story, but not worth the mental effort of pursuing.