Announcing your divorce on Facebook

[StressedGroom]

An acquaintance (friend of a friend, same bowling league) recently announced he and his wife were getting a divorce on his facebook status.

It was a positive post (or as positive as something like that could be) with no pointing blame, nothing negative about his wife, looking towards the future.

I thought is was a good way to get the word out to people like me (not close friends); I'm assuming those closest too him knew what was going on before reading it on facebook.  I think it would save me from the awkward situation of asking where his wife was if I saw him.  DW isn't so sure.  I don't know if it is a guy/girl difference or what.

What do you think of broadcasting something like that to all your friends on facebook?

[immadz]

I dotn see a problem with it. It is a major life event and this seems as good a way as any to spread information.

[Tai]

I think its a bit odd, but then I think the whole Facebook phenomenon is a bit odd too.  I heard all kinds of news through facebook this year- engagements, deaths, pregnancies, miscarriages, births, new jobs, lost jobs... and it's weird to me.  I'm getting used to it, just like I'm getting used to people saying "how did the cookies come out?" after posting something about trying a new recipe.  

As long as it isn't something like "STBX is a jerkface meaniepoo and everyone should defriend her because her naughty bits are on display for anyone who buys her a drink..."  well I guess it isn't all that bad.  And double that for negative comments back.  

[siamesecat2965]

While I wouldn't personally do something like that, I don't see anything wrong with it, esp in the way you say he did it.  Maybe he thought if he just put it out there, he could avoid the quesetions about how are they doing, etc etc etc.  By doint this, he puts it out there that there is a major life change going on, and can move forward.

[smidget23]

As long as the Ex-DW and those closer to the couple knew first, I don't see a problem with it.

semi-threadjack: I get annoyed when people post major news like pregnancies/engagements and then ask everyone not to tell because they haven't told Mom/Dad/Grandparents/ect. first. If you don't want people to talk about something, then don't mention it...especially not on a public site!!! /rant

[greenleafmountain]

It wouldn't be my preference, but I can see how it someone could be feeling daunted by having the same (potentially painful) conversation over and over again with each friend and acquaintance as they found out.  Better to just put the word out and then be done with it.

[MaggieB]

I think this is the way we're moving.  As long as the "important" people in your life, like your parents, close friends and any obviously any children you have already know, then I'm OK with it.

I'm starting to wonder if high school reunions will become a thing of the past with Facebook and other social networking sites becoming so popular.  I hear all the big news from the peripheral people in my life on Facebook.

[TaylorMade]

I'm starting to wonder if high school reunions will become a thing of the past with Facebook and other social networking sites becoming so popular.  I hear all the big news from the peripheral people in my life on Facebook.

My 20 year HS reunion is coming up and I am actually MORE excited about going than I normally would be because of FaceBook.   I have 'friended' about 10 people from my high school class and now I will actually have something to talk about with them!  (I don't have any friends from my high school class, so going to reunions is like going in blind and just feeling around for someone to talk to)

[goblue2539]

For clarification, I will say that my concern regarding him posting publicly is that I fear it will actually bring in questions from people who may have otherwise kept their mouths shut and stayed out of it.  For example, I would never have said a word to him if I heard it word of mouth, but now I'd feel weird if I didn't at least express some sympathy the next time I see him.  Then again, I don't want to bring it up at all if the whole point was to not have to talk about it any more than necessary. So, nothing wrong with posting it, but definitely in the realm of things I would not be comfortable with for myself.

[SportsFan88]

For clarification, I will say that my concern regarding him posting publicly is that I fear it will actually bring in questions from people who may have otherwise kept their mouths shut and stayed out of it.  For example, I would never have said a word to him if I heard it word of mouth, but now I'd feel weird if I didn't at least express some sympathy the next time I see him.  Then again, I don't want to bring it up at all if the whole point was to not have to talk about it any more than necessary. So, nothing wrong with posting it, but definitely in the realm of things I would not be comfortable with for myself.

He is probably expecting sympathy. If you express your sympathies, he will probably thank you for your sympathies, then he will either bean dip you or continue the discussion. Maybe he just wanted to get the truth out to avoid people talking about what really happened and to say 'hey, this will be ok.'

My sister announced her engagement on facebook. I knew and my parents knew, but a lot of our extended family did not know yet. Most of her friends did not either.

[Wavicle]

I think it is a fine way to get around that uncomfortable moment with your more casual friends. People closer to you should probably be told more formally, but I can understand doing it for people less close to you.

[Tiamet]

I've had embarrassing conversations about a colleague with two different people because the news of his separation wasn't public knowledge.

The first time I made mention of something he and his girlfriend had done.  Cue gasps of shock and 'what does his wife think' from the person I was talking to.

The second time, someone asked whether he and his wife did a particular hobby together. 

On both occasions, it was left to me to say that the marriage was over.

I think facebook is a good way to avoid having to repeat the news over and over to casual acquaintances.

[Becca]

I can't put my finger on it, but to me, it just seems a little.......off.  But then, I'm not really one for posting private or negative information on Facebook, so maybe that's just me.

[Marleigh]

I have a lot of very casual friends on FB that I wouldn't necessarily share such intensely personal information with, so my vote is no.  But, for other people, the dynamics might work.

FWIW, I think divorce should be handled with introspection and there should be some sort of grieving period (for lack of a better word) where both parties give themselves a breather and spend some private time thinking of their next steps in life.  I feel like announcing it on a forum like Facebook detracts from how painful and serious divorce can be.  Even if it's announced in a fairly positive way.  Just my opinion.

*Edited to say "might work" instead of "not work".

[The Legend of Daisy]

divorce should be handled with introspection and there should be some sort of grieving period (for lack of a better word) where both parties give themselves a breather and spend some private time thinking of their next steps in life

It's entirely possible that the OPs acquaintance has already been through that process and the next step was letting everone know the result.

About two years ago my office was going through a bunch of break ups. 3 longterm relationships/marriages were dissolved. There was an initial time while the break up was happening or shortly afterward where people wanted to keep it to themselves, but at some point it's nice if the word gets out so people don't keep asking what you and your partner did for 'holiday' or how partner is doing. No drama, just dissemination of information.