Author Topic: Announcing your divorce on Facebook  (Read 7369 times)

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NotCinderell

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Re: Announcing your divorce on Facebook
« Reply #30 on: December 21, 2009, 02:29:13 PM »
FB exists partly to disseminate info quickly to everyone you know, so I vote not rude.  I mean, your marital status is one of the most basic things about you.  Can you imagine someone answering offendedly, "That's none of your business!" if asked by someone they'd just met if they were married?  Of course not.  Therefore it does not constitute "over-sharing."

My FB friend whose wife left him several months ago and about whom he has been boo-hooing ever since on nearly every status update:  not so much.  

So as long as you're not crying on your adoring public's shoulder or bashing the ex to all and sundry, you're cool in factually stating your change in status.  

Bramble

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Re: Announcing your divorce on Facebook
« Reply #31 on: December 21, 2009, 03:48:18 PM »
When "announcing" your divorce on Facebook however do not go through you spouse's friend list and send everyone on that list a private message telling them that you and spouse are getting a divorce, particularly if your spouse hasn't made any sort of public announcment themselves.

immadz

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Re: Announcing your divorce on Facebook
« Reply #32 on: December 21, 2009, 04:03:13 PM »
Also, do not call your spouse's friends to complain about your spouse. Thats just horrendous!


Cz. Burrito

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Re: Announcing your divorce on Facebook
« Reply #33 on: December 21, 2009, 04:38:52 PM »
When "announcing" your divorce on Facebook however do not go through you spouse's friend list and send everyone on that list a private message telling them that you and spouse are getting a divorce, particularly if your spouse hasn't made any sort of public announcment themselves.

Eep.  I think we can all agree on that one!

Giggity

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Re: Announcing your divorce on Facebook
« Reply #34 on: December 21, 2009, 04:46:27 PM »
Speaking from experience (I just last week changed my status from Married to Single), I'm okay with the practice.  :)
Words mean things.

look in the tunk

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Re: Announcing your divorce on Facebook
« Reply #35 on: December 21, 2009, 04:56:29 PM »
I think announcing isn't rude. Like someone else pointed out, it is probably better to just get it over with than have dozens of different painful conversations. I agree that family and close friends should know first.

I do NOT think it is okay to lure out details, etc. I think it should be limited to one announcement. 

TaylorMade

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Re: Announcing your divorce on Facebook
« Reply #36 on: December 21, 2009, 05:36:02 PM »
In my case I'll just change "married" to "single," with no announcement. My family, as well as DH's, who are my FB friends, all know.
That's the best way I can think of to deal with it. Honestly, how many people check on their friends' status'?

Well, the rel@tionship status change line will show up in people's newsfeeds if they log on recently after you change it. I would prepare yourself emotionally for some people, 10 minutes after you change your FB status, PMing you with "What happened!!?!?". Just be prepared for your own sake - have some sort of response ready so that you aren't emotionally caught off guard by it.

I didn't realize.

What would you do in my situation? I won't be married at that point, but I'm not trolling for a man on FB either.

Jaxsue ~ FYI... You can change a setting here so that your relationship status isn't posted on the feed:

Settings -> Privacy Settings


Oh welll Nevermind... There used to be a 'Newsfeed' setting.  On that there was checkboxes that allowed you to control what went into the newsfeed.   

They must have removed that with the latest changes.  If I find it, I'll let you know :)

Dindrane

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Re: Announcing your divorce on Facebook
« Reply #37 on: December 21, 2009, 06:10:32 PM »
I don't think it's inherently rude or wrong, although I do think it can be done badly.

I kind of announced my engagement on Facebook.  I first told everyone that I wanted to hear it from me directly, and then I changed my status to "engaged to" and posted a very brief status update.  A few people congratulated me (most of whom were people I told in person, ironically), but the vast majority never said anything at all.

I think that things like Facebook announcements of anything personal ought to be limited to things where you're okay with a whole lot of people not saying anything at all, as well as people commenting on it.  And, of course they should also be things that you think your friends list will actually want to know.

But I do think it can be a useful medium for this sort of thing, as others have said.  A few people will probably fall into a gray area where they feel like they should say something, but weren't told personally and aren't sure how to respond.  But most people will either already know, or will make a mental note of it and call it good.  I also know that I would assume that if I found out about something through Facebook, most of the time, that means that I'm not really close enough to the person to need to say anything.  I might mention it if I actually see the person and it comes up, but I would otherwise just say nothing at all.


Celany

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Re: Announcing your divorce on Facebook
« Reply #38 on: December 21, 2009, 11:32:58 PM »
I agree that, as long as there is no mud-slinging in the post, it's a good way to get it out there & head off the gasps & PMs when somebody notices that your status has gone to 'single' (which people probably will notice, even if you change your privacy setting to not post when your relationship status changes).

I have a friend who did it that way. His wife...ran away with his friend. Which he didn't post on FB, he just said that they decided they were growing apart & needed to part ways. The crappy part was that they both agreed (husband & wife) to tell family/close friends before posting anything...and then she didn't. Which started a minor war with her people. That was just one more thing he didn't need at that time, but oh well.  :-\
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine