Facebook Etiquette

[JeseC]

There is no rule that requires people to *not* comment on a posted link or item.

I was shocked that this needed to be stated, until I heard one of the DJs on the radio this morning complaining about "serial commenters" who comment on every status update.  Really?  You posted something in public and are upset to be getting attention for it?!

I think the best rule for this is to apply the same rules to facebook comments as you would to conversations in a public place.  It is not typically rude to jump into a conversation between acquaintances, but insisting on being part of every conversation might be in bad taste.  Especially if you have nothing of substance to add to that particular conversation.  Similarly, don't hijack facebook conversations to be about your pet topic - I've known of a few people on fb who have the tendency to do this.

[Calistoga]

Here's something I run in to all the time.

I'm an Atheist. I have a lot of outspoken Atheist friends. I also have plenty of religious friends. From time to time, I get in to debates on Facebook with my religious friends, and we all stay very civil. Then I have one Atheist friend who is a total jerk to everyone who disagrees with him- he berates people's intelligence to the point that they refuse to have conversations with ME because of his bad behavior. I've asked him to stop, he says he won't and that if I have a problem with him I'll just have to block him. Is it unrealistic of me to expect all of my friends to be polite to each other on my page?

[diesel_darlin]

I don't think it is unrealistic at all. All of my friends know that I don't tolerate ugly on my page. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I welcome all of them. Civilly.

I honestly think FB is like someones living room. If you wouldnt walk into their living room and curse them out, dont do it on Facebook.

[Twik]

It's unrealistic to expect civility from someone who doesn't want to be civil. So, if you want your page to be civil, I'm afraid he won't be able to be part of it.

[MrTango]

Here's something I run in to all the time.

I'm an Atheist. I have a lot of outspoken Atheist friends. I also have plenty of religious friends. From time to time, I get in to debates on Facebook with my religious friends, and we all stay very civil. Then I have one Atheist friend who is a total jerk to everyone who disagrees with him- he berates people's intelligence to the point that they refuse to have conversations with ME because of his bad behavior. I've asked him to stop, he says he won't and that if I have a problem with him I'll just have to block him. Is it unrealistic of me to expect all of my friends to be polite to each other on my page?

I don't think it's an unrealistic expectation at all.  Unfortunately, you may have to enforce it through management of your friend lists, or by de-friending certain people altogehter.

[Sharnita]

He told you he ntends to insult people until/unless you block him - I'd block him.  He seems aware of and OK with the prospect.  (I think it is possible he might take pride in "scaring people/winning arguments" so successfully that he forced you to take action)

[JonGirl]

I'm sick of people requesting games to me.
I don't want to play so just stop it, yeah?

[Yvaine]

There is no rule that requires people to *not* comment on a posted link or item.

I was shocked that this needed to be stated, until I heard one of the DJs on the radio this morning complaining about "serial commenters" who comment on every status update.  Really?  You posted something in public and are upset to be getting attention for it?!

I think the best rule for this is to apply the same rules to facebook comments as you would to conversations in a public place.  It is not typically rude to jump into a conversation between acquaintances, but insisting on being part of every conversation might be in bad taste.  Especially if you have nothing of substance to add to that particular conversation.  Similarly, don't hijack facebook conversations to be about your pet topic - I've known of a few people on fb who have the tendency to do this.

Oh goodness yes. You can't have a comment thread about a fluffy fun topic without some of these FBers wandering in to berate you for talking about this when there's world hunger or war or high fructose corn syrup.

[Sharnita]

I'm sick of people requesting games to me.
I don't want to play so just stop it, yeah?

Those are likely autorequests done by fb and the game.  They are done periodically as the person plays, they don't pick and choose who sees them.

[diesel_darlin]

I'm sick of people requesting games to me.
I don't want to play so just stop it, yeah?

I block the games. Go to your App Center, and there is a little X in the top corner of the game request. You will then be given the option to ignore the request, block the game, or ignore all future requests from whomever sent you the request.

[sunnygirl]

There is no rule that requires people to *not* comment on a posted link or item.

I was shocked that this needed to be stated, until I heard one of the DJs on the radio this morning complaining about "serial commenters" who comment on every status update.  Really?  You posted something in public and are upset to be getting attention for it?!

I think the best rule for this is to apply the same rules to facebook comments as you would to conversations in a public place.  It is not typically rude to jump into a conversation between acquaintances, but insisting on being part of every conversation might be in bad taste.  Especially if you have nothing of substance to add to that particular conversation.  Similarly, don't hijack facebook conversations to be about your pet topic - I've known of a few people on fb who have the tendency to do this.

I agree. I think it depends how it's done, and the relationship between you and the other person. If it's someone I know quite well, it's fine, but if not it can sometimes be a bit creepy or stalker-like. Practically every woman I know has a story of friending some guy she doesn't know or doesn't know well (like a co-worker or something), and having him immediately start 'liking' or commenting on everything single thing she posts - occasionally even going through years' of old posts and pics to like them. It's the equivalent of being introduced to someone at a party or at work, and them following you around the entire day laughing loudly at everything you say, no matter who it was aimed at.

[Syrse]

- Do not take a picture of a friend's ultrasound with your phone to upload on facebook. Don't act all surprised if she yells at you. 'Oh, I didn't realize you didn't tell everyone yet' is not an acceptable excuse. If it's not your news to share, then stay out of it!

- Oh, and bonus points for people who post every single ultrasound when they know there are friends out there trying to have kids, then act all surprised when said friends remove them from the feed list.

- Do not post pictures of teddy bears being hanged. I will defriend you.

[bloo]

- Do not take a picture of a friend's ultrasound with your phone to upload on facebook. Don't act all surprised if she yells at you. 'Oh, I didn't realize you didn't tell everyone yet' is not an acceptable excuse. If it's not your news to share, then stay out of it!

- Oh, and bonus points for people who post every single ultrasound when they know there are friends out there trying to have kids, then act all surprised when said friends remove them from the feed list.

- Do not post pictures of teddy bears being hanged. I will defriend you.

These are excellent points but I wanted to comment on your second point.

On the flip side - If you're trying very hard to have kids, it is not going to be cathartic or therapeutic to post (daily) updates spewing, at best, snark, or at worst, vitriol directed at parents that jokingly complain about some parenting annoyance.

Insert whatever struggle you're having...but spewing at those who do not have that struggle and are making minor complaints or jokes is not helpful and may get you blocked or unfriended.

[purplerainbow]

- Do not take a picture of a friend's ultrasound with your phone to upload on facebook. Don't act all surprised if she yells at you. 'Oh, I didn't realize you didn't tell everyone yet' is not an acceptable excuse. If it's not your news to share, then stay out of it!

^ I like to apply the above to all sorts of news - new jobs, engagements, moving house, anything really.
Commenting after the person has shared the news is fine, but some people would really rather have the chance to tell their close family and friends about some events/circumstances first, rather than have them find out from someone else along with 600 other people on Facebook.

[Free Range Hippy Chick]

It is generally accepted that vaguebooking - posting cryptic updates which might be insider jokes, or might be a whine for sympathy, but which are most certainly designed to have people asking 'why? what's happened?' - is irritating and impolite.

Opinion is divided about whether or not Facebook is the correct place to post notice of a death.

Vaguebooking about a death - ' John' so that we have to ask 'what about John?' - is totally crass and will make you look like an attention hound who wants to make John's death all about you.