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  • September 25, 2017, 10:37:07 AM

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Author Topic: Cleaning while hosting houseguests - Miss Manners  (Read 2989 times)

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mime

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Re: Cleaning while hosting houseguests - Miss Manners
« Reply #15 on: August 07, 2017, 01:50:09 PM »
I have to admit that I feel suspicious of the LW:

The messes she mentions with this child are things like spitting up or spilling food. The kind of thing nearly everyone cleans up immediately for plenty of good reasons.

Then she goes on to say that she wiped down the counter and vacuumed crumbs. I think of those as twice-daily (or something like that) cleanup after a meal. As a host, I don't think she'd offend if she did that light cleanup once the guests have left the table. She's not clear how long she waited.

In the end, though, she asks if she should have cleaned after they left a couple days later. So she's really asking if she should leave spills and dinner crumbs on the table for multiple days? The absurdity of the question makes me think she's hovering and over-cleaning every crumb before it lands to protect her newly-remodeled house from a sticky toddler, and when faced with the idea that her behavior may be offputting, she went to this extreme and asked if she should just put off any and all cleaning for multiple days until the guests have left.

I think in an effort to defend her behavior, she's lumping together everything from spit-up on the sofa, to post-dinner crumbs on the table, to a fingerprint on the window.


rigs32

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Re: Cleaning while hosting houseguests - Miss Manners
« Reply #16 on: August 24, 2017, 12:04:44 PM »
The LW answered some questions in the comments:

Hey look at that, she answered my question! I'm the "host", above. I appreciate Miss Manners' opinion and surely understand her point of view. I haven't read through the comments but did want to clarify a few things for the sake of the discussion. First, I most certainly was NOT standing over them, cleaning up, or pushing them out of the way. As most of the commenters stated, I was merely cleaning up after meal times or long periods of playtime with the kids. Regarding the vacuuming, we have a very lightweight & quiet Dyson we use to clean the floors after my baby and I just simply cleaned up after theirs as well. Secondly, I was 8 months pregnant at the time and had a 13 month old baby. So, germs were definitely a preoccupation of mine haha! Their little boy was sneezing and coughing and while they said that was "normal for him", I was concerned about him putting things in mouth without being sanitized afterward. It certainly would've been a tough time for me & my family to get sick. And lastly, I forgot to really tie in the whole house renovation point as I think it may make more sense with this example: We had beautiful white quartz counter tops installed in our kitchen and we hadn't yet figured out how porous it was or if we needed to seal it. So, when the guest would cut blueberries directly on my counter top leaving the juice to spread, that was an instance in which I asked if she wouldn't mind using a plate and if I could wipe it up (it took some scrubbing with bleach). I explained we still needed to seal the counters and she was of course fine with that! Anyway, thanks for your reply Miss Manners and for all the comments. I will be extra mindful in the future to not make my guests feel like an imposition. :)

ladyknight1

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  • Not all those who wander are lost
Re: Cleaning while hosting houseguests - Miss Manners
« Reply #17 on: August 24, 2017, 12:08:33 PM »
Wow! I'm so happy to get an update. Yeah, the guest seems to be a bit beyond the norm for the messes made during this meal and visit.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

Winterlight

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Re: Cleaning while hosting houseguests - Miss Manners
« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2017, 12:16:01 PM »
Yeah, if you're chopping blueberries on my white counters with no plate, then there's a problem.
If wisdomís ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

gramma dishes

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Re: Cleaning while hosting houseguests - Miss Manners
« Reply #19 on: August 27, 2017, 06:40:22 PM »
People chop blueberries?   ???

ladyknight1

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Re: Cleaning while hosting houseguests - Miss Manners
« Reply #20 on: August 27, 2017, 06:57:56 PM »
People chop blueberries?   ???

Choking hazard for toddlers when whole, like grapes.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

blarg314

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Re: Cleaning while hosting houseguests - Miss Manners
« Reply #21 on: August 30, 2017, 09:10:45 PM »

I visited some friends and family with small kids when I was back in my home town on vacation this summer, and I was honestly kind of shocked at the near squalor some of them lived in, and I'm far from a neat freak myself (I'd describe myself as a mostly reformed slob).  It was definitely clear that they weren't in the habit of wiping up things like spilled juice or food crumbs as they happened. They also had furniture and home decor that matched this style - old, battered furniture, linoleum, carpets that were already stained.

So I could definitely see that if they visited someone who had a clean house, with furniture and carpets that were in good condition, there could be problems without the host being obsessively fussy, but just wanting their stuff to not be wrecked.