News: There is a new Ehell Kindness Project!  Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • June 25, 2016, 06:03:16 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Open Bar & Tip Jars...with a twist  (Read 3156 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

MaryR

  • Will work for cupcakes.
  • Member
  • Posts: 274
Re: Open Bar & Tip Jars...with a twist
« Reply #75 on: June 19, 2016, 12:29:13 AM »
IMHO, you have to know your audience. I've only been to 2 events like the ones the OP is describing and I was probably a rube because I had many dollar bills in my pocket. I thought I'd need them to buy raffle tickets, 50/50 tickets, charity tip jars, and etc. Any charity event I go to is one for a charity I support and I do plan to donate money. I bring the money I plan to donate and spend it on the silly stuff.

The events I've helped organize have certainly been the ones that want to be sure that nobody leaves with money in their pockets, but that's what people expect when they buy their tickets. I've walked around with kittens in a basket while telling people that it costs a dollar for a squirt of hand sanitizer before they can touch them. Our target audience always seemed good with that because it was for cat rescue.



VorFemme

  • Member
  • Posts: 15283
  • I am not sweating, I'm glowing!
Re: Open Bar & Tip Jars...with a twist
« Reply #76 on: June 19, 2016, 10:42:31 AM »
Who knew tip jars could be such a point of contention!  ;)


Welcome to Etiquette Hell.  Don't get us started on taking shoes off at the door.   ;D

We do agree that no live (pets or otherwise) snakes should be brought into restaurant dining rooms by patrons.  Those who have brought live snakes into restaurants don't post here, so we have no idea what their thoughts on the matter were at the time.

Other than that one issue, there are a lot of "regional" variations on most situations.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2016, 10:58:09 AM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Hmmmmm

  • Member
  • Posts: 8280
Re: Open Bar & Tip Jars...with a twist
« Reply #77 on: June 19, 2016, 05:53:22 PM »
IMHO, you have to know your audience. I've only been to 2 events like the ones the OP is describing and I was probably a rube because I had many dollar bills in my pocket. I thought I'd need them to buy raffle tickets, 50/50 tickets, charity tip jars, and etc. Any charity event I go to is one for a charity I support and I do plan to donate money. I bring the money I plan to donate and spend it on the silly stuff.

The events I've helped organize have certainly been the ones that want to be sure that nobody leaves with money in their pockets, but that's what people expect when they buy their tickets. I've walked around with kittens in a basket while telling people that it costs a dollar for a squirt of hand sanitizer before they can touch them. Our target audience always seemed good with that because it was for cat rescue.

Love that idea.

turnip

  • Member
  • Posts: 823
Re: Open Bar & Tip Jars...with a twist
« Reply #78 on: June 20, 2016, 01:08:07 AM »
I don't care for tip jars - for whatever purpose.  How ever much we can say 'no pressure!', if everyone in front of me in the line is putting in $5 then I'm going to feel like a scrooge if I just get my drink and go.  Perhaps that's "my problem" and I should get over it, but I still think that it goes back to the reason tip jars for whatever purpose are outside proper etiquette.  Charitable contributions are best kept private, and a tip jar removed that veil of privacy.


Winterlight

  • On the internet, no one can tell you're a dog- arf.
  • Member
  • Posts: 10839
Re: Open Bar & Tip Jars...with a twist
« Reply #79 on: June 21, 2016, 07:33:51 PM »
I would see no issue with a jar on the bar that says, "Any tips go to Charity". That's it. The contest, etc puts me off. I'm not 100% certain I can explain why, but here are my gut reasons:
1. It makes it about you. I know that's weird, but it seems kind of attention getting to the bartenders when the bartenders should really be more like "the help". That's a terrible way to put it and I don't intend to demean you in any way. Especially since it seems you're kind of the bosses of the event. But, that's the thing. How much more attention do the bosses need?
2. It's actually a little more high-pressure than just a single jar.
3. If there is a prize for the "winner", it seems like something created solely for your benefit. Even though all the actual money goes to the charity that prize gets bought by someone.

So, that isn't well put and I don't want you to think that I in any way think that those thing are going through your mind.

In summary - a single tip jar=Yes; a "contest"=No.

I agree with this. I'd set out a single tip jar and that's it.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

miranova

  • Member
  • Posts: 3373
Re: Open Bar & Tip Jars...with a twist
« Reply #80 on: June 22, 2016, 09:31:58 PM »
I don't care for tip jars - for whatever purpose.  How ever much we can say 'no pressure!', if everyone in front of me in the line is putting in $5 then I'm going to feel like a scrooge if I just get my drink and go.  Perhaps that's "my problem" and I should get over it, but I still think that it goes back to the reason tip jars for whatever purpose are outside proper etiquette.  Charitable contributions are best kept private, and a tip jar removed that veil of privacy.

I agree with this so much.  It's one of the reasons I don't like tip jars.  I feel like there is this "don't be the jerk who doesn't tip because we can all see you" mentality surrounding them, even in places where tips shouldn't really be expected.  I mean obviously bartenders are usually tipped, but not with tip jars, at least not in places I've been to.