General Etiquette > Techno-quette

An umpteenth thread on Facebook etiquette – viewing access

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kingsrings:
Okay, I’ve been FB friends with a classmate for a while now. We went to preschool together, were friends then, and our moms were good friends back then. We also went to high school together. We’ve also kept in pretty frequent contact on FB, commenting on each other’s walls, and sometimes private messaging each other.

As all you other FB’ers know, recently we all had to update our privacy settings, and FB made some changes to increase the privacy of one’s profile. Now I can’t view friend’s wall. Her profile comes up, but all it displays is all her tabs with the exception of her wall. Yet there is not the usual FB display of “_____ only allows certain people to view her info” that comes up when one has their privacy settings set a certain way. I’d like to know what’s going on in her life, as I’ve enjoyed our contact.

So I don’t know if she has it set so I can’t view her wall, or if there is a problem on either of our ends with our FB profile, or if for whatever reason, she’s taken her wall of off of her profile. But I don’t know the etiquette of trying to find out, or if I should send her a message about her wall. I don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable situation if she has, for whatever reason, denied me access to her wall. Last year, she deleted me off of her friends list for reasons still unknown and never explained to me, but friended me again after I sent her a friend request, so I think that must have been an accidental deletion. 

Soo…..would it be rude of me to send her a private message inquiring? Or should I just let it go?

RandomAngel:
Truthfully, I would let it go.

On the one hand, the new security settings may have "defaulted" to something more strict than she had originally had, and she may not have realized/changed it. On the other, she DID delete you off her friends' list, and then re-added you when you pressed the issue, which sounds more like a non-confrontational person trying to cull her list than like a pure accident to me. In either case, I think that your best course is letting her make the next move, facebook-wise.

Celany:

--- Quote from: RandomAngel on December 30, 2009, 01:59:50 PM ---Truthfully, I would let it go.

On the one hand, the new security settings may have "defaulted" to something more strict than she had originally had, and she may not have realized/changed it. On the other, she DID delete you off her friends' list, and then re-added you when you pressed the issue, which sounds more like a non-confrontational person trying to cull her list than like a pure accident to me. In either case, I think that your best course is letting her make the next move, facebook-wise.

--- End quote ---

I would let it go too, for now. With the caveat that, if you're every messaging each other (since you mention that you do message) & she says something about her wall like maybe a "oh, did you like the xxx link I posted, it made me think of you", you could then point out that you can't actually see her wall anymore & weren't sure if it was on purpose & didn't want her to feel awkward if you were easing back from the friendship.

For the record, I've become more choosy with who I allow access to what on my FB, now that we can adjust the privacy settings so much. I've realized that I really want only the people that I genuinely feel close to to see all the little bits & pieces.

siamesecat2965:
I would also let it go.  She may have purposely blocked your viewing her wall, or done it accidentally.  My settings are set VERY high, so only my friends can view any of my info.  I like the idea of bringing it up, say if she says, hey check this out on my wall, you can then say, sorry, for some reason I'm not able to view it.

I will admit to being a bit nosy, and have browsed and searched for people sporadically on FB, and there are a few who I know I wasn't able to see any info on prior to FB changing their settings etc., but now certain info IS viewable.  My guess is that a lot of them simply aren't aware of the settings, and what to set etc.

kingsrings:
Yeah, when it comes to viewing the profiles of non-friends, I’ve noticed that some will say something like, “_____ only allows…..”, but then it seems like I’m able to view their wall, which seems like something one would want to set to the most private. Perhaps they only want their info box to be set to private though.

I guess I won’t say anything to this friend. It just seems weird that someone whom I’ve known all my life and have been frequently corresponding with on FB would suddenly not allow access to her wall.

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