Silence after sending friend an email

[Sirius]

Are you sure it's a valid e-mail address?  Or has she responded and talked about everything else under the sun except for the cupcake recipe?

[C0mputerGeek]

The fact that it's a recipe from a book, makes her rude for not sharing.  If it were truly HER OWN recipe, then I would understand wanting to keep it secret. 

I think there is a misunderstanding, or I missed something.  OP didn't say she knew the recipe was from a book.

OP asid her friend mentioned the recipe was one from a well known cook book author. 

[caroljones]

The fact that it's a recipe from a book, makes her rude for not sharing.  If it were truly HER OWN recipe, then I would understand wanting to keep it secret. 

I think there is a misunderstanding, or I missed something.  OP didn't say she knew the recipe was from a book.

OP asid her friend mentioned the recipe was one from a well known cook book author. 

I wonder if the author is Ina Garten? Her cupcakes look delicious, but so does everything else she makes.

[jimithing]

The fact that it's a recipe from a book, makes her rude for not sharing.  If it were truly HER OWN recipe, then I would understand wanting to keep it secret. 

But why does this make her rude? I agree that for me, it does make a difference if I have a recipe of my own, or out of a book. I am more likely to share a recipe anyone can find.

But, there is also a recipe that *I* make in my circle, and that I want to be the only one to make. I found the recipe, have perfected it and make it often. I don't think it's rude not to share it.

[Scuba_Dog]

The fact that it's a recipe from a book, makes her rude for not sharing.  If it were truly HER OWN recipe, then I would understand wanting to keep it secret. 

I think there is a misunderstanding, or I missed something.  OP didn't say she knew the recipe was from a book.

OP asid her friend mentioned the recipe was one from a well known cook book author. 

Yes, she did.  I missed it somehow, sorry about that.

Maybe it's a tweak on the recipe that she doesn't want to share. 

[Two Ravens]

The fact that it's a recipe from a book, makes her rude for not sharing.  If it were truly HER OWN recipe, then I would understand wanting to keep it secret. 

But why does this make her rude? I agree that for me, it does make a difference if I have a recipe of my own, or out of a book. I am more likely to share a recipe anyone can find.

But, there is also a recipe that *I* make in my circle, and that I want to be the only one to make. I found the recipe, have perfected it and make it often. I don't think it's rude not to share it.

Her friend mentioned it was from a recipe book, she no longer lives in the area with the friend - I don't see why she can't at least tell the OP what book it was from.  She doesn't have to share her "tweaks."

[Katelyn]

OP here.

She has coyly said once before when someone else asked that it is a well known cook, and she changed the subject.  I am a close friend however, so thought she would share if it is a widely known author and public recipe.   Personally I think it is rude given this, but that could be the cupcake withdrawal talking 

This email to her facebook email account is my first ever request.  I am cheekily using the phrase grinch because she will not acknowledge my request at all but is happy to comment on other emails and facebook entries.  She is flat out ignoring the existence of my email and this has me astounded.  A simple no would be fine.  Disappointing, but at least an answer.

The complete lack of a response had me wondering if I had committed some unpardonable sin by even asking.  And it is not like I have pestered her 

[still in va]

OP here.

She has coyly said once before when someone else asked that it is a well known cook, and she changed the subject.  I am a close friend however, so thought she would share if it is a widely known author and public recipe.   Personally I think it is rude given this, but that could be the cupcake withdrawal talking 

This email to her facebook email account is my first ever request.  I am cheekily using the phrase grinch because she will not acknowledge my request at all but is happy to comment on other emails and facebook entries.  She is flat out ignoring the existence of my email and this has me astounded.  A simple no would be fine.  Disappointing, but at least an answer.

The complete lack of a response had me wondering if I had committed some unpardonable sin by even asking.  And it is not like I have pestered her 

she has already declined to share the recipe.  her coy answer when someone asked before was definitely a refusal.  i suppose she could reply to your e-mail with the comment "you know i don't share my cupcake recipe".  but the result would be the same.  no, you weren't rude to ask.  but you should have already figured that she wouldn't be sharing it with you.

[Cady]

Kat, it is entirely possible that she never read the initial request.  It's a cupcake recipe, not a nuclear launch code, so I can't believe anyone would actually ignore a friend who is asking for it!

I say try one more time; can't hurt!

[Two Ravens]

OP here.

She has coyly said once before when someone else asked that it is a well known cook, and she changed the subject.  I am a close friend however, so thought she would share if it is a widely known author and public recipe.   Personally I think it is rude given this, but that could be the cupcake withdrawal talking 

This email to her facebook email account is my first ever request.  I am cheekily using the phrase grinch because she will not acknowledge my request at all but is happy to comment on other emails and facebook entries.  She is flat out ignoring the existence of my email and this has me astounded.  A simple no would be fine.  Disappointing, but at least an answer.

The complete lack of a response had me wondering if I had committed some unpardonable sin by even asking.  And it is not like I have pestered her 

Well, now you have more information about the kind of person she is.  Sometimes the things we learn about close friends surprise us, and sometimes that sucks.

[PrettyPinkPost-its]

Is it possible that your friend baked her cupcakes in a convection oven? 

I'm telling you, my brand new convection oven turns out the BEST cakes I've ever baked.  The only cake I've ever tasted that's better than mine (if I do say so myself  )  is the award winning bakery in town.

Anyway, a great recipe from a book (maybe Martha Stewart???) baked in a convection oven with homemade fudgey frosting would be heaven.

[gibsongirl]

The fact that it's a recipe from a book, makes her rude for not sharing.  If it were truly HER OWN recipe, then I would understand wanting to keep it secret. 

But why does this make her rude? I agree that for me, it does make a difference if I have a recipe of my own, or out of a book. I am more likely to share a recipe anyone can find.

But, there is also a recipe that *I* make in my circle, and that I want to be the only one to make. I found the recipe, have perfected it and make it often. I don't think it's rude not to share it.

Perhaps not rude, but decidedly unfriendly because but for that little bit of information, that many people must stumble upon unknowingly on a daily basis, the OP could have cupcakes of her very own.  By holding on to that information which is not proprietary (the name of the cook or the cookbook) the friend is...well, is being stingy.  

And I honestly don't see why people get so fussed about actual proprietary recipes either.  Every time someone makes something, there will be differences, due to different stoves, different ingredients, carelessness and accidents in measuring, or the tweaks that cooks give to their baking.  I've been making "my mother's" spaghetti sauce for years now, and I still like her's better!  

In fact, there's a dozen ways to make it a sharing and teaching experience, from "here's this recipe and here's why it turns out so nice," to "come over and let me show you how to do it, we'll do it together the first time."  Frankly, the fact that she doesn't want to share strikes me very much as saying "I don't really like you as much as you think I do."

[Drunken Housewife]

Well, now you have more information about the kind of person she is.  Sometimes the things we learn about close friends surprise us, and sometimes that sucks.

That seems pretty harsh.

I have recipes I did not invent but which are amazing, and it did take work on my part to learn them.  What was the work?  I read cookbook reviews & cookbooks & food magazines & food articles, and I save interesting recipes, and I try them out, and most recipes are not worth repeating.  I could put hundreds of hours of work in to get a handful of truly amazing recipes out of it (some of which I will adapt but some I won't), and when I've shared a recipe, it turns out the recipient usually makes the thing all the time and therefore I can't make it any more for social events.  People often put a LOT of work into discovering really great recipes, and the impact of the result of all that work is lost if everyone is making that dish.

Everyone could also come up with showstopping recipes on their own if they were willing to put the work into it, do research, try things, see what works...

[skbenny]

DH came home and asked if I would make cupcakes for his potluck tomorrow.  What timing!

So I decided to experiment.  I did the following:

One Betty Crocker Devil's Food cake mix
3 eggs
1 1/3 cup water
1/2 cup butter (I don't use cooking oil, except olive oil)
Pre-heated the oven to 350, although my oven tends to run a little hot.

Separated the eggs and beat the whites until stiff.

Added the yolks into the whites one at a time while beating on high, I ended up with about 3 cups of whipped eggs.

Melted the butter in the microwave.

Sifted the cake mix 10 times - I started out with approximately 4 cups of cake mix; the whole package filled the sifter.  After sifting there was at least 5 cups, if not more.

Added 1 1/3 cups hot water to the melted butter.  Mixed this well with the cake mix and beat for about 20 seconds.

Added the cake mixture to the eggs about 1/4 cup at a time, gently folding.

Filled 24 cupcakes 2/3 to 3/4 full, baked 11 minutes.

I now have the fluffiest cupcakes I have ever made.  They are moist and not crumbly, but light as air.  Normally when we make a cake mix, it is hard to fill even 18 papers, this time it was easy to fill 24.  The cooking time was substantially shorter, on the box it said 17 to 22 minutes.  I normally set the oven to 15 and then check.  This time I was watching them rise and cook and could see they were done at 10 minutes.  I actually cooked them 1 minute longer to be sure they were done all the way through.

The taste is not substantially different, but the texture is out of the world velvet.

Grandma Benny knew what she was talking about.

[Drunken Housewife]

."  Frankly, the fact that she doesn't want to share strikes me very much as saying "I don't really like you as much as you think I do."

Wow, that is really harsh.  Again, I am surprised at how judgmental people are being of the OP's friend.

Maybe what the OP's friend is saying, "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you've put me in an awkward position because I don't want to say no and I don't want to give out my recipe.  I worked really hard and tried lots and lots of recipes before I found this one, and I'm known for these cupcakes."