I don't fault the OP for asking and yet I do think the OP should see that the non-reply to her specific request is an answer. Especially since she has said that if her friend does'nt give it to her, she would feel bad. It's not OK in my book to say someone can decline my request, but then I'll be hurt. Isn't this part of friendship, that I may ask a friend for something and yet I really do have to give them room to say no for any reason and respect that.
I think the OP came on here initially with the view point that since she shares recipes, every one should. It's quite an eye opener to see the myriad of reasons as to why some people don't.
The OP has said she would feel sad if she didn't get the recipe. Not that she would be angry with her friend or feel like it was unfair, she would feel sad. As long as she doesn't pout or let her friend know that she is disappointed, thats fine.
Let's say I really want a soda, but I don't have any change from the vending machine. I ask Sue if I can borrow a dollar. Sue says no. I politely say, ok no problem. And move on. I'm sad I didn't get my soda (and thirsty!), but that doesn't make me rude. And it doesn't mean I can't ask for something if a negative answer would make me sad. I just need to be aware not to express that negativity to the person I'm asking. We are allowed to have feelings, its how we express them to others that etiquette controls.
The OP said if her friend didn't give her the recipe, she would be really disappointed. It really sounds like the OP sent her friend an email with a possibly "loaded" question. How many times have we seen on this site, that make up numerous threads, that the act of saying no may bring much grief? If a friend asked me for something and I didn't quite feel comfortable saying no, I think we don't we have much of a relationship
. My friends don't put their needs ahead of my own and do support me in my comfort.
So I guess to answer the OP's question. Yes, there are many of us who will not share recipes. For our own level of comfort. If you think your level of need surpass'es your friends than by all means end the relationship
. If you are looking for a possible perspective from your friend I think you may have found it in the numerous replies.