Author Topic: Silence after sending friend an email  (Read 17029 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

RainhaDoTexugo

  • got married!
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 23089
  • Tatum!
Re: Silence after sending friend an email
« Reply #240 on: January 06, 2010, 07:57:02 PM »
I'm sure you missed it, but I was responding in kind to hyperbole here.  
if you're sooooooo incredibly sensitive about your supersecret recipes that you can't even bear the idea of sending a polite "no" to someone when asked, perhaps it's time to stop cooking for anyone but yourself and your family.


It's not hyperbole at all.  A number of posters have speculated that the friend is just not comfortable with saying no, and thus she shouldn't have to.  If that's true (and she hasn't just gotten distracted), and she really can't bring herself to send a simple email to say "no, I'm sorry, I don't share that recipe," then she really ought to reconsider making it for other people.  She clearly doesn't think that recipe sharing is some kind of crazy thing that nobody actually does, and thus it would be so rude to ask, because she's asked for recipes herself.
If she were here complaining about being asked then we might tell her not.
So far as we know, OP is the one with the issue.  The cupcake maker may be blissfully ignorant and enjoying her farmville activities.

Which is why I very specifically said that this only applies to someone who is so uncomfortable saying no that she'd rather ignore someone, and not to someone who just happens to have been distracted.  At this point, we're all working on speculation, and I'm simply responding to one of the theories put forth.

Dindrane

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 14758
Re: Silence after sending friend an email
« Reply #241 on: January 06, 2010, 08:00:14 PM »
Can someone please explain something to me?  I don't know how prevalent this attitude is among the followers of this thread, but I've seen it mentioned (or PODed) at least a handful of times.

For the purpose of this question, we are talking about normal, polite interactions (not toxic people, not people who have no respect for boundaries, and not anything else outside of normal, polite behavior).

How is it acceptable for a person to completely and totally ignore a direct question?  Would you seriously think it was totally fine if you went up to someone at a party, asked them how they've been, and received a blank stare in response?

Since I highly doubt anyone would be okay with that in a face-to-face interaction, why on earth is it different for email?

I am completely mystified by this, because I thought it was one of the most obvious and widespread tenets of polite society that you answer people when they're talking to you.  It's one of the very first rules of manners that I learned as a child, and I can't imagine that other children were not similarly instructed.


evely28

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2600
Re: Silence after sending friend an email
« Reply #242 on: January 06, 2010, 08:01:56 PM »
[

And really, who wouldn't be "sad" to discover that their friendship with someone wasn't as close or reciprocal as they thought.

Oh shoot. What in awful position to be in. So if I answer my friends email with honesty and forthrightness I am the one to be throwing the relationship away?

I can understand the position of the OP's friend in not wanting to come right out and say "No".

Isn't that the apex of grace? I may ask a friend a question or a favor and yet accepting declination for any reason with grace, saves both our "faces".