When did not having facebook become rude

[TootsNYC]

This morning my sister called and told me that I am rude and out of date because I do not have a facebook account.

I asked how and she told me that facebook is how families keep in contact anymore because calling or write letters or email is passe so not to have it is terribly rude because it is telling everyone that I do not want to keep in contact.

When did it become rude not to have facebook? Or is this just my sister complaining.

For what it is worth DH (I can use his if I wanted to) and the boys have facebook accounts but I have not so far seen the need to add myself to facebook.

What your sister really told you was that she doesn't want to take  the time to call or email you. She wants to be able to notify everyone all at once, with one message, of anything she thinks is important. The underlying message she's sending, that you aren't worth her time, is far more rude than what she said. This happened in my family, when everyone but my parents got email. Some of my siblings complained a lot that our parents needed to get email. What they really meant was that they didn't want to take the time to print out the email on paper and snail mail the news to our parents.

I agree w/ Camlan.

[Venus193]

I don't text-message either.  If I ever upgrade my cell phone to a blackberry I will have to learn, but until then I don't want to have to work that hard at it.

[Luci45]

I did just think of a time that it is rude for someone not to be on the internet! Someone I know asks me quite frequently to look things up for him on the internet. I did for a while because I was kind of flattered, but it has gotten to be too much. Just find someone to give you a few lessons and go the library or get your own computer, please.

If I were constantly asking a friend what so-and-so has on FaceBook, that would be rude, too.

[AmethystAnne]

I had been wondering about this topic for awhile now.

I had been invited to a jewelry party, via a postcard sent through the mail and also a conversation on the landline. Both invitations came from the hostess.

An hour before it's supposed to start, I'm getting changed for the party, looking forward to seeing everybody. I get a landline call, from one of the party participants.
She asks, "So, what are you up to?"
Me, "I'm getting ready for the party"
She says, "Oh! the party was cancelled."
Me, "Really? I didn't know that. Hostess didn't call me. When did that happen?"
She says, "Hostess sent out a message through FaceBook"
Me, < > ,"I'm not on FaceBook. Hostess knows that."   
She says, "Oh."   

The conversation got really ackward after that. I'm still not happy about it when i think about it, so I try not to.

[camlan]

I had been wondering about this topic for awhile now.

I had been invited to a jewelry party, via a postcard sent through the mail and also a conversation on the landline. Both invitations came from the hostess.

An hour before it's supposed to start, I'm getting changed for the party, looking forward to seeing everybody. I get a landline call, from one of the party participants.
She asks, "So, what are you up to?"
Me, "I'm getting ready for the party"
She says, "Oh! the party was cancelled."
Me, "Really? I didn't know that. Hostess didn't call me. When did that happen?"
She says, "Hostess sent out a message through FaceBook"
Me, < > ,"I'm not on FaceBook. Hostess knows that."   
She says, "Oh."   

The conversation got really ackward after that. I'm still not happy about it when i think about it, so I try not to.

Cancellations, unless you are canceling well in advance of the event, need phone calls, IMO. Some people don't check Facebook or email often enough to get word of a cancellation before the event starts. I'm remembering one time I showed up at 9 am for a seminar, only to find the building locked. Turns out the organizer canceled the seminar by email at 7:30 that morning. At which time I was running out the door in order to make it to the seminar on time. Phone calls were definitely called for in that situation.

I can see Facebook as one method of informing people of things. But for important information, such as a cancellation, it should not be the only method.

[PeasNCues]

I think it becomes rude only if a facebook-less person then also wants to be kept updated on the day-to-day things that are usually communicated through facebook and are dissappoint/angry when they are not (unless this is a recurring thing between the two people);

[MadMadge43]

Ok, I just thought of a technology example that I did think was rude.

One of my best friends refused to get Skype when I was in Europe. She has internet and is on the computer all the time. She also has a computer camera and microphone. It would have taken her 5 minutes to download Skype so we could talk for FREE for the 9 months I was there.

I kept asking her because she would complain that I never called her. She never called me even when I had a cell phone there. I kept in touch with my family, BF and other friends through Skype, but never her.

The one time I had to buy an international calling card I called her with the left over minutes.

Now that I'm home she's still not talking to me because I "deserted" her while I was gone.

[Venus193]

Madge, how old was her computer?  It could have been old enough so she was concerned with it not being able to handle that download.

My computer was top of the line when I bought it in August of 2001.  I hate to download stuff because I just about max out my virtual memory during every session.  I will need to get a geek for it soon.

[extranormal]

A casual friend has made it abundantly clear that she is put out with me because I've resisted joining FB. She likes to post photos of her kids on an almost daily basis, and she just doesn't understand why I'm not going out of my way to look at them.

"I suppose I can e-mail them to you," she recently said, with an extravagant sigh. But...but I don't want pictures of her kids! Once or twice a year, maybe, or a photo card at Christmas? Fine. But I don't take that many pictures of my own kid. So now I'm supposed to feel grateful that she's doing me this enormous favor because I'm too stubborn to join FB.

[MadMadge43]

Madge, how old was her computer?  It could have been old enough so she was concerned with it not being able to handle that download.

My computer was top of the line when I bought it in August of 2001.  I hate to download stuff because I just about max out my virtual memory during every session.  I will need to get a geek for it soon.

Nope, her computer was fine. She just wouldn't go to the site and press the download button. That's seriously all it takes. And she's on the computer constantly.

[ginlyn32]

I have Facebook and I like being on it...but I am starting to see the downside.

As in, no one ever calls me or emails me anymore. The only person who ever calls me is my mother. She doesn't own a computer since the only internet they can get is dial-up (the live clear out in the boonies).

All of my in-laws are on it, my DH, my kids and my neices and nephews. My brother is on but he doesn't post very often.

I don't even update my status very much since I'm not working and nothing much is going on in my life.

I keep thinking about deactivating my account, but I don't want to loose my farm on FarmTown. (pathetic, i know)

ginlyn

PS, no...OP you are not rude for not haveing facebook.

[T'Mar of Vulcan]

I don't text-message either.  If I ever upgrade my cell phone to a blackberry I will have to learn, but until then I don't want to have to work that hard at it.

I actually prefer SMSes to speaking. I have a terrible phobia of talking on the phone and get tongue-tied, etc. So I like to just send an SMS because then I don't end up looking like an idiot to the person I'm contacting. And my cellphone is over 5 years old, doesn't have a proper screen or even decent ringtones... but who cares? I just use it for emergencies anyway.

[geekette]

The only reason I have a FB account is to cut off the (albeit, small) chance of someone stealing my identity on Facebook. I've never used my FB account for anything, much less as a frequent means of communication.
Communication-wise, facebook doesn't really have any bnefits to email (in finding people and reconnecting it does, but that's a different story); you can easily send everyone an email telling them all your news, and they can check their email just as easily as they do facebook. The only thing email might 'lack' is you can't easily have forum-like discussions with multiple people... Oh wait, my friends and I do that with email anyway  .

[Perfect Circle]

I have a FB account as does DH. I have a number of friends and have uploaded some pictures of DD etc on it. It was very useful initially to connect with the alumni from my old college.

I log in maybe once a month now, two and a bit years after signing up. I much prefer to talk to people or even use old fashioned email. I don't want to know what someone is doing two or three times a day and I get frustrated at all the requests I get. I know I can change the settings, but I'm too lazy to do that as well. If someone sends me a message I get an alert on my email which suits me just fine.

I personally could really easily live without an account. And certainly would not consider anyone who hasn't got one rude.

[Evil Duckie]

No, my sister was not joking. She was serious. It was because she was so serious that I started doubting myself. Usually she is pretty level headed about things.

I think that she wants me (and others in the family) to be more up to date on what is going on her life and she wants more information on mine (and others in the family) in a fast one stop fashion.

I do not mind that I don't know what all is going on in her life unless we specifically contact each other or I am told by others in the family and I do the same for them. Important information does get to everyone in a family timely manner. Nice to know information also gets to everyone- abet not as fast but still fairly quick.