Rude not to friend family members?

[McCutieBelle]

Just curious to know. Many family members have gotten facebook, and to be honest I am not overly comfortable with many of them  knowing so much about my business. Especially since the few I did friend like to post some passive aggressive comments to my postings or go and tell my mother about what I post.. I am 28 so my grandmother joined facebook and I REALLY don't want to be friends with her, I don't post anything TOO personal, nothing I would be embarrassed about, but I keep in touch with her just fine, she lives downstairs from me. Is it rude to "unfriend" family members who post some rude comments to my posts, it is always "oh what are you complaining about now" or "be happy you have a job and give up on these wishful fantasies"

[Luci45]

I opened a FaceBook account and decided I don't like it. My 16 year old granddaughter said "It's OK, Grandma, I don't friend old people anyway." I took it in the spirit in which it was meant. She also mentioned that she was thinking of unfriending (?) a 50 year old family member who seems to spend ALL of her time on FaceBook and pretty much clogs up the page with junk. I approved.
 
If I were active, you should believe that there are many members I wouldn't invite or accept as friends.

So, no, I don't think it is rude.

[Miss Unleaded]

No of course it's not rude.  I wouldn't add my grandmother either.

[Lovemykids]

I also vote "not rude."  I opened a Facebook account a while back and only "friended" my brother.  Then in a fit of energy I recently friended my sister in law, bro in law, and a cousin, because while I don't actually post anything on my account (and I keep it set to pretty much the most private settings), it's nice to keep up with others.  Well, that set forth a bunch of friend requests, mostly from other cousins.  I went ahead and accepted them, until I got a friend request from a veeeerrry distant relative that I have met exactly once.  I'm sure she couldn't pick me out of a lineup.  Likely she sent the friend request just because FB suggested me to her as we have mutual cousin friends.  So I made the decision that I would friend cousins within my generation, but anyone else gets ignored.  Thus far I've ignored the distant relative, and another cousin from an older generation with whom I also never have any contact anyway.  I don't think it's rude, and I doubt either of them is crying in their Cheerios that I haven't friended them.

This makes, I think, 9 "friends" that I have on FB.  And I can't keep up with them!

[kherbert05]

Not rude. I actually worry that my younger cousins (same generation one of their parents are a sibling of my mom - but 20 years younger) might feel pressured. Given what they post, I don't think they are that concerned and they have friended our Aunts (10 years or so older than me).

[Nurvingiel]

No one is obligated to friend anyone.

[think4yourself]

It's definitely not rude. You're not obligated to friend anybody. Just be prepared to possibly be asked why.

My rule is that I only friend adults (whom I know of course). I do not respond to friend requests from my nieces and nephews and my friends' children. Which I guess brings up another etiquette question - is it better to ignore unwanted friend requests or send a message with an explanation? I typically ignore, to avoid awkwardness, but maybe that's not right?

[Nurvingiel]

Nah, just ignore. Unless you think the person doesn't understand the etiquette of Facebook (that it's okay to ignore friend requests and nothing personal) and their feelings would be hurt without an explanation. Maybe then. (Though, they are going to have to learn some time.)

[Rohanna]

I just set up a limited profile, and blocked all the content i didn't want that group to see. Extended family get to see the things that most of them care about anyhow- a few pics of my son and so on. I think of it like my phone- I talk to my sister all the time so she gets all the news, but I only really call my aunts on holidays- but they all have my number

[Dogface]

Definitely not rude and in fact, probably a pretty good idea, especially considering the issues you've had. It's not impolite to keep people from making rude comments on your Facebook.

I friended my parents, but my dad doesn't really do much with his Facebook and my mom just keeps to her actual friends, anyway. I didn't post anything that I wouldn't have minded them seeing anyway, and they don't post weird, passive aggressive comments or anything. However, I don't think I'd friend my uncle or cousins or anything, it'd be too weird.

[SisJackson]

I just set up a limited profile, and blocked all the content i didn't want that group to see. Extended family get to see the things that most of them care about anyhow- a few pics of my son and so on. I think of it like my phone- I talk to my sister all the time so she gets all the news, but I only really call my aunts on holidays- but they all have my number

I do this as well.  I have created several lists of people (as far as I can tell you can create a large number of lists, and each person can be in a number of overlapping lists) and I limit what I say to only the list(s) that I deem appropriate.  I have things I post only to my women friends.  Others only get posted to people I'm related to.  I will update only professional colleagues and former coworkers on the conferences I attend.

I don't think it's necessarily rude to un-friend people, but you may end up hurting people's feelings.  I would much rather restrict what a person can see (and post to me!) than reject them outright, but that's just me.

[Lisbeth]

If you don't want to friend someone, you're not required to do so...even if they're "faaaaaaaaamily."

[Nuala]

Is it rude to "unfriend" family members who post some rude comments to my posts, it is always "oh what are you complaining about now" or "be happy you have a job and give up on these wishful fantasies"

I don't consider it rude.  In fact, I might think it mandatory to unfriend someone who posted such negative and less than supportive comments.

[Murphy]

It's your choice who you are friends with on FB. Don't feel pressured to accept family members.

This can be a very touchy subject. FSIL refused to accept her mother's friend request. FMIL did not stop complaining, whinging and moaning about this fact to anyone within earshot. FSIL eventually accepted the friend request after 12 months to have FMIl turn around and state in her status that "she now has a very special new friend on FB who she is overjoyed with". FMIL's friends all commented with "who is it?" "Oh, I see who she is!" etc. This all happened on Christmas Eve so you can imagine the fall out at the Christmas day gathering between FSIL and FMIL......

[Hushabye]

Nope, not rude.  I had to explain to my mom late last year that if she did set up an account, my brother and I might or might not friend her -- that I probably would but he probably wouldn't -- because there are just some things that we might want to keep among our circles of friends.  I think she understood what I was trying to say, although she hasn't set up a page of her own that I know of.