Is this status update rude?

[Roe]

My friend's update today.

Put ♥ this ♥ on ♥ your ♥ status ♥ if ♥ you ♥ know ♥ someone ♥ you ♥ hope ♥ gets ♥ run ♥ over ♥ by ♥ a ♥ fleet ♥ of ♥ cement ♥ mixers.

I thought it was funny.   

[Murphy]

I see! Thank you for posting it. I have actually come across this update over the last few weeks and have just ignored it as it rubbed me the wrong way too. I personally feel that the section in red is slightly aggressive in tone. My mother has actually had breast cancer so of course there is nothing I literally wouldn't do to find a cure but I feel it's rude to pressure people into displaying such statements.

I know what you mean, my mother is also a breast cancer survivor and even though we aren't on good terms, I certainly don't want her to have to deal with any more pain or suffering from it.  She is very fearful it may come back.  My father died of lung cancer.  The skin cancer I had was the least serious form, but it does put me at a higher risk for melanoma.   I certainly want to see a cure for cancer, but I don't like the whole bullying people to put it in their Facebook statuses when it really doesn't accomplish anything.  

Interestingly enough, the friend (actually relative by marriage) who vented in her status about it is a pretty religious person who prays regularly.  One of the reasons I think it bothered her is that she lost her brother to cancer and her nephew is the prematurely born relative I referred to.  I know she's done a lot of praying for all affected by both cancer and infant loss, but especially those closest to her.  So it may have been a case of "what do you think I've been doing all of this time?"  I think these issues hit pretty close to home and can be quite emotional for people.

I know some survivors find the awareness posts comforting, but not all do.  Below is a link to  a blog by a breast cancer survivor who had a double mastectomy, which describes her reaction to the bra color one (which certainly wasn't as bad as the 93 percent one):

Other cancer survivors joined in, telling me that they felt left out too.  After all, this was ostensibly an effort to raise awareness of breast cancer — but one in which breast cancer survivors themselves could not participate, and were reminded (as if we needed a reminder) that we didn’t need bras anymore, that most basic undergarment of women everywhere, that symbol of sexuality, for the simple reason that we had already sacrificed our breasts in a hail mary attempt to keep the rest of our bodies from dying of cancer.

That’s what it is, you know.  It’s not a choice.  It’s not just another treatment option.  Women have mastectomies, double mastectomies, reconstruction (or not) because we have no other choice remaining that will give us a shot at life — life with our children, our partners, our families, and our friends.  And so we tearfully bid our breasts goodbye.  We submit to surgery, weeks of the aftermath, drains and gashes where our breasts once were.  We submit to doctors and nurses and students gawking with surprise when we disrobe for exams (not the oncologists, of course, but we still need regular checkups like everyone else, you know).  We submit to months of physical therapy to rip the scar tissue off the muscles that stretch to cover our ribcage.  We submit to lymphedema therapy, taking up precious time, time that we fought for, time that we sacrificed for, but time that nonetheless much be used for even more medical treatment, to deal with the aftermath.

And then we go shopping.

Clothes that fit just a few months previously don’t fit anymore, you see.  Every. single. shirt. is stretched out over the chest, and most new ones don’t fit right either.  Princess seams, sewn to flatter the big-busted and small-busted alike only serve to remind us, the no-busted, that we are no longer princesses.  V-necks are flattering, but only if they are not too deep, cut to show no cleavage, as our cleavage has been taken from us as well.

And, for a while, the reminders are everywhere.  Every TV commercial with the Victoria’s Secret angels rankles.  Every low-cut shirt sparks the tears.  Every nightgown cut to flatter falls — flat — and we cry into our pillow.

We are aware, you see.  We are all too aware, and we work to escape the reminders.  Our friends dance around us for a while.  They don’t invite us to the pool (have you ever gone swimsuit shopping without your breasts?).  They are gentle, and careful, and form a wall of support around you.

But eventually, life moves on, and the wounds scab over, and the scars begin to form.

Until one day, one day, when a harmless meme rips them off, and you realize once again that you will never be the same.

http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/2010/01/08/in-the-name-of-awareness/

Another blogger who knows people fighting cancer summed up another issue with the 93 percent campaigns:

I know and love some people with cancer and if they saw this crap on my profile, it wouldn't make them feel good and show them I care. It's like making them a trophy, making their cancer about me. "Look at me, look at me, I'm in that caring, affected 7%!"

http://hippernicus.blogspot.com/2010/01/ghastly-facebook-memes.html

I couldn't agree more with both those blog exerts particularly the second one. I find that is the problem with a lot of these FB status', they are there for the updater to try and impress others with their worthiness. I'm of the old-fashioned variety who believe the truly worthy never proclaim their deeds in such a manner.

The more I think about this virual status update I feel like constructing one of my own. Something along the lines of "Keep on praying as your prayers are needed and welcomed. If you know of anyone who is currently undergoing treatment for cancer please do something. Pick up the phone and call them, send them a nicely worded card, drop off a meal/cake to their home, lend them a cheery book to read etc". Of course I would never post such an update.

[StressedGroom]

A Friends status this morning:

 Please put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who is an idiot. Idiots affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for stupidity, but we can raise awareness ...... 93% wont Copy and Paste this, many because they're too stupid to know how to copy and paste. Will YOU make this your status for at least one hour? (laugh a whole lot)

[amylouky]

I guess it's good we're not FB friends.. I'd have annoyed you in September. No, I don't do the "copy and paste this" thing, but September is gynecological awareness month, and as I'm a survivor, I chose to post various facts on my status all month, and remind the women I know to get regular exams.
I might be a little miffed by your status update, but only because that cause really is personal and means a lot to me. I think the "copy and paste this to show you care" updates are a bit annoying as well. I guess I don't really see your update as rude, per se, but be prepared for the possibility that you may hurt some feelings by posting it.

[Roe]

A Friends status this morning:

 Please put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who is an idiot. Idiots affect the lives of many. There is still no known cure for stupidity, but we can raise awareness ...... 93% wont Copy and Paste this, many because they're too stupid to know how to copy and paste. Will YOU make this your status for at least one hour? (laugh a whole lot)

Yeah, my friend had this one too. 

[TychaBrahe]

OT but TychaBrahe that was the funniest thing I've seen all week! Thanks so much for posting that video.

I have to admit, until I went and looked for the video, I didn't know it (or other NTNON) stuff was posted on YouTube.

I have a collection of their greatest hits on LP.

[ChristiKayAnn]

Oh & while I was writing the above post, it appears the tragedy in Haiti has been co-opted by the 93 percent crowd. I'm not going to post anything directly in response, but I'm going to post a link to an article which is listing charities to donate to which are helping out in Haiti. If anyone wants to counter the co-opting of the Haiti tragedy by this trend, here is the link:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/abraham/detail?blogid=95&entry_id=55175

Be sure if you are sending help to Haiti you do so through reliable organizations like the ones in the previous post. Just like this tragedy being coopted by the 93% crowd it will also be taken advantage of by the con artists and the greedy.

Here is another link with a much longer list of legitimate organizations who are providing help in Haiti.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34835478/ns/world_news-haiti_earthquake/?GT1=43001

[Nurvingiel]

I guess it's good we're not FB friends.. I'd have annoyed you in September. No, I don't do the "copy and paste this" thing, but September is gynecological awareness month, and as I'm a survivor, I chose to post various facts on my status all month, and remind the women I know to get regular exams.
I might be a little miffed by your status update, but only because that cause really is personal and means a lot to me. I think the "copy and paste this to show you care" updates are a bit annoying as well. I guess I don't really see your update as rude, per se, but be prepared for the possibility that you may hurt some feelings by posting it.

Personally I would enjoy a month of useful facts. Especially devoid of the copy and paste request.

[Ceallach]

Personally I would enjoy a month of useful facts. Especially devoid of the copy and paste request.

I agree, there's a big difference between stating facts and making PA comments trying to get other people to change their status to the same message.  The former I would enjoy also!

From an etiquette perspective, that's the difference IMHO.  I think people are entitled to update their status how they please - and if somebody is sick of hearing about their pet / child / job / quotes / whatever they update with, they are free to ignore it.   But it is a little rude if they are including the fake stats and PA digs about caring enough to post it as well. So although I also just ignore those ones too, I understand why people are offended by it.

Having said that, I think posting status updates that insult or mock other people's status updates is almost heading down the path of retaliatory rudeness.  To ignore it is a more polite response.

[familyfun]

Personally I would enjoy a month of useful facts. Especially devoid of the copy and paste request.

I agree, there's a big difference between stating facts and making PA comments trying to get other people to change their status to the same message.  The former I would enjoy also!

From an etiquette perspective, that's the difference IMHO.  I think people are entitled to update their status how they please - and if somebody is sick of hearing about their pet / child / job / quotes / whatever they update with, they are free to ignore it.   But it is a little rude if they are including the fake stats and PA digs about caring enough to post it as well. So although I also just ignore those ones too, I understand why people are offended by it.

Having said that, I think posting status updates that insult or mock other people's status updates is almost heading down the path of retaliatory rudeness.  To ignore it is a more polite response.

Add me to this list too.  Fortunately this trend seems to be tapering off, so I can resist the temptation to post my questions about where the 93% comes from!

[Solanna Dryden]

The thing about the whole bra meme that gets to me is the "keep it a secret from guys" thing.

Men can get breast cancer too!

[Nurvingiel]

The thing about the whole bra meme that gets to me is the "keep it a secret from guys" thing.

Men can get breast cancer too!

I know. And there have been a lot of "spin off" memes recently that all (the ones I've received anyway) excluding the guys. Why? I really don't like gender-divisive stuff.

[mlkind1789]

I have to agree with the others that said it's just a little heavy handed.  Just skim over what you don't want to see and then you don't have to worry about it.

I also have to say that I am totally stealing the idea of the Monty Python quote though just to see how many of my friends jump on. 

[Shoo]

The thing about the whole bra meme that gets to me is the "keep it a secret from guys" thing.

Men can get breast cancer too!

I don't think the idea behind it was to actually keep it a secret from the guys. The idea was to get them intrigued enough to ask about it, thus furthering the conversation.

What I don't understand is all the offense taken at a silly "for fun" game that is completely voluntary and easy to just skip over if you don't want to play along.

[Brentwood]

What I don't understand is all the offense taken at a silly "for fun" game that is completely voluntary and easy to just skip over if you don't want to play along.

Ditto.

I've declined to participate in any of the newer games beyond the one-day color post, but none of it bothers me.