Inviting oneself into plans discussed on Facebook walls

[Goog]

Just don't get his 'hint' that he wants to ride WITH you.  Try ignoring him for a while.  If he comes back and asks again for more info, then tell him something like "here's the link for signing up. (link)  I hope you and your group have fun at the race.  Be sure to wave hi if you happen to see me!" 

So you're giving him the info, but you're not in any way inviting him to be part of your group.  You're assuming he has his own group to ride with.  And the last sentence is friendly enough, but I think it makes it pretty clear that you don't intend to see him, perhaps at all, during the race, let alone ride with him.

[Twik]

I am constantly stunned by the number of people who will post something in a public place (wall or blog or whatever) and then get upset when the "wrong" person reads it.  The internet is public and the internet is forever.  Don't post something that you don't want the whole world to know about.

I'm not upset that he read it...I'm just confused and a little annoyed that he read it and then decided that it was an invitation for him to come along with me, especially considering that neither of us know him. 

I've got to admit that if I were reading an open discussion, and someone starting talking about, "Hey, wouldn't it be fun to do X!", I'd assume that they were indicating that anyone reading the discussion was being notified that they could take part in X along with them.

If you don't want other people to assume they're invited, discuss it privately.

[Roe]

IMO, writing on someone's wall is no different than talking amongst a large group of people. Would you have discussed this with your friend at a party with 70+ people listening?

If you can't accomodate everyone then you shouldn't discuss an event in front of everyone. In the future, keep these discussions to PM.

POD!

[Queenie]

This is the downside of making your private life and plans public or least available to everyone who has access.  To me, it's not different than issue a blanket invitation to everyone when you post it on you wall.  If you want to keep something private, take it to e-mail.

[C0mputerGeek]

I think the problem is that people use Facebook differently, and the rise of online social sites has changed how people define the word "friend."

The people on my friends list are people I truly care about that I either want to stay connected with or reconnect with. If I don't know you or don't want to know you, I am not adding you as a friend. I am agog at people with Facebook friends numbering at 500, 700, over 1,000.

Since Facebook is only for my friends, I don't use my wall to talk about upcoming events. I would consider it rude of me to talk about an activity in front of people who are not invited. I create Secret Events - they can only be seen by the people invited to them - and talk about it there.

For someone that uses Facebook differently, I can see why this might not be true.

[BuffaloFang]

I think the problem is that people use Facebook differently, and the rise of online social sites has changed how people define the word "friend."

The people on my friends list are people I truly care about that I either want to stay connected with or reconnect with. If I don't know you or don't want to know you, I am not adding you as a friend. I am agog at people with Facebook friends numbering at 500, 700, over 1,000.

Since Facebook is only for my friends, I don't use my wall to talk about upcoming events. I would consider it rude of me to talk about an activity in front of people who are not invited. I create Secret Events - they can only be seen by the people invited to them - and talk about it there.

For someone that uses Facebook differently, I can see why this might not be true.

I think this may be my problem.  I tend to use Facebook your way, but I added him before I figured everything out and never felt comfortable defriending him, so he's the "other kind of friend" on my list, who I don't know.  Anyone else would have been welcome to come, although I knew enough about my other friends to know they wouldn't want to come.  but I don't know him at all!  So I guess my best solution would be to defriend him or change his privacy settings.  Thanks.