Am I heartless if I don't jump on the bandwagon re: world disasters & tragedies?

[Kimblee]

I have no money, for charity or otherwise. I just can't donate. (If they need baby hats however, i can hook 'em up.)

Today at the store, I got accosted by someone trying to get me to donate to a charity for the victims. I demurred and got screamed at that I was heartless and cold.

So I went and cried in the bathroom for awhile.

To the other people coming in and out to potty, sorry you had to hear that. But I'm very bothered by how agressive some people are.

[Rohanna]

I don't think it is rude not to participate- but I don't think it's rude to broadcast it either. I volunteer for Red Cross, and people using social networking tools helps us get the message for emergencies. No one should be bullied- but to ask is allowable I think.

Really, I don't see how a moment of silence request is any more "stupid" than anything else on FB... it's better than the endless "I had chicken for lunch" or "Bob just found a lost iguana" spam.

There is a major tragedy happening in one of the poorest and hurting areas of the world- I am *happy* if public awareness spreads through a venue seen by so many people- particularly teenagers who do not read the paper or read the news much. Perhaps it will help this generation become more selfless and more aware of things they can do to help in this world.

[familyfun]

Not rude at all.  I only posted something on my status because one of my friends posted one of those 93% won't post this things with a variation on Haiti needs your prayers.  I'd been planning to make a donation and not post about it, but that post got me annoyed because it was making a show of caring without giving people any sort of concrete information as to how they could help. So I linked to an article which listed charities which were doing work in the area.  And they were all pretty standard, reputable ones.   I tried not to force it on anyone, just put a note that if people wanted to donate and wanted to know which charities, the article had a list & description.  I didn't urge anyone to repost it.  And that's the only post I've written about it.

The 9/11 posts are tougher.  This past 9/11 was my first on Facebook.  I live in an area that was pretty hard hit by the losses.  A couple of people I went to school with were killed and almost everyone on my Friends list either lost someone or knows someone who did.  A number of them also had to evacuate downtown Manhattan in the midst of the debris clouds.  I was fortunate not to lose anyone close to me and to be out of the city that day.  I feel like if I post anything too emotional, it takes away from those who have suffered far more than I did.  I worked downtown at the time and smelled the smoke for weeks after, but it was in no way the same as what they've been through.  But since so many people I know were affected by it, it felt weird not to acknowledge it.  I posted in support of the heroes of that day, both uniform and civilians.  

I'd say about 10-20% posted something about Haiti.  Nearly everyone posted something related to 9/11, even if it was just changing their profile to the Towers of Light tribute or an American flag.  

PS PrimNProper, welcome & I love your avatar!

[SisJackson]

Really, I don't see how a moment of silence request is any more "stupid" than anything else on FB... it's better than the endless "I had chicken for lunch" or "Bob just found a lost iguana" spam.

I'm trying to figure out who said anything was stupid.

If someone would like to argue that a Facebook message is more valuable or useful than $50 (or $10, or $5) then I'm willing to listen, but neither would be classified as "stupid".

[Rohanna]

It's not that messages are "better" than cash, it's that they might inspire people to help if and where they can- be it prayer (should you believe), participating in a blood drive, dropping of clothes or coins to the Sally Anne or phoning in a donation....

They are also just a reflection of what are passing on in peoples minds at the moment. It doesn't bother me any more than any other sharing of the thoughts of someone on my friends list.

It's not heartless not to participate, but it might be a little to not understand why others might have it on their minds, even on FB. I never think twice when I see Remembrance day or 9/11 posts, why would this tradegy be any different?

[T'Mar of Vulcan]

I agree with others that it's not rude or heartless. Too many updates and cause messages, and eventually people just tune them out. "Not that again!" And I think that those who try to make out that people who won't post "for a cause" are heartless - well, those are the rude ones. I've said before that for me Facebook is just a bit of fun and a way to keep in touch with people. It's not anyone's personal soapbox, and I hope that it doesn't get turned into one.

Haiti is a very poor country. You just have to wonder where all the people were before the earthquake. People were suffering in Haiti before then. People are suffering all over the world, all the time. Why does it take a natural disaster for people to care?

[HonorH]

I'm participating in a multi-fandom auction at LiveJournal (look up help_haiti if you're in the neighborhood; it's raising a lot of money for some very good charities) because I can't donate directly.  A couple of links to the auction and my thread there have been my only mentions of the tragedy.  I think some people get wordy in their blogs and social-networking sites because they feel helpless and think other people will think they're heartless if they don't say anything.  I personally go with Christ's exhortation to give and not tell anyone or expect any thanks.

What's worst is when a meme goes around that implies you don't care if you don't repost it.  Some time back on LJ, there was a "If you support rights for Purple People, repost this in your journal.  If you don't, say nothing."  I posted nothing, not because I'm against the rights of Purple People, but because I think memes like that are only good for making people feel like they're doing something when, in reality, they're not.

[cass2591]

Haiti is a very poor country. You just have to wonder where all the people were before the earthquake. People were suffering in Haiti before then. People are suffering all over the world, all the time. Why does it take a natural disaster for people to care?

Yes, Haiti is the poorest country in the western hemisphere, and there are many third world countries in other parts of the world that are in need. However, much as I don't want to minimize their difficulties,
there are organizations that collect money for them, but it's not headline news.

Reports of 200,000 dead, (more than half of those still in the streets with temps of 80+ degrees F) people going days without food, water and medical help, worries of anarchy and looting, little or no shelter, the survivors either not knowing if their loved ones are dead and if they are they can't bury them, fear of violence and children without parents and parents losing their kids, their city virtually decimated, their world, as they knew it, all but gone and we're not even there to witness the devastation--it tends to get a lot of attention and I'm, for one, proud of the Americans and citizens of other countries taking action by giving/doing what they can.

[familyfun]

There's now some hoax going around that if people cut & paste certain text re: Haiti, Facebook will donate $1 each time it is pasted.  I sent a message to the person posting it with the Snopes link.  If you get this in your newsfeeds & you want to contact the people to let them know it's false, here's the Snopes link:

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/charity/haiti.asp

And here is the Better Business Bureau link (one can run searches on charities):
http://www.bbb.org/us/Find-Business-Reviews/

I can understand people feel compelled to help and I know that's where my friend is coming from.  She's a very loving and compassionate person.  But what if people fall for this, as she did, and believe that $1 is actually being donated?  Instead of donating that dollar to a reputable charity.  I'm sure this is another Facebook meme that's going to spread like wildfire.  It wouldn't suprise me if it gets posted a thousand or even a million times.  But imagine the relief that could be sent if each of those people contributed just $1.  That's just one of the things which annoys me about these memes. 

[familyfun]

Today at the store, I got accosted by someone trying to get me to donate to a charity for the victims. I demurred and got screamed at that I was heartless and cold.

So I went and cried in the bathroom for awhile.

To the other people coming in and out to potty, sorry you had to hear that. But I'm very bothered by how agressive some people are.

How awful.  Was it someone from the store itself or just some random person using the store?  A reputable charity should know better than to accost people and berate them when they decline to donate.  It really makes you question whether the money was going to relief or not. 

If you want to avoid any possible unpleasantness like that in the future, I think a little white lie of "I've already made a dontation, thank you" would be acceptable.

[Shoo]

Today at the store, I got accosted by someone trying to get me to donate to a charity for the victims. I demurred and got screamed at that I was heartless and cold.

So I went and cried in the bathroom for awhile.

To the other people coming in and out to potty, sorry you had to hear that. But I'm very bothered by how agressive some people are.

How awful.  Was it someone from the store itself or just some random person using the store?  A reputable charity should know better than to accost people and berate them when they decline to donate.  It really makes you question whether the money was going to relief or not. 

If you want to avoid any possible unpleasantness like that in the future, I think a little white lie of "I've already made a dontation, thank you" would be acceptable.

The manager of the store where you were accosted should have been summoned immediately when that happened.  That is absolutely outrageous. 

[familyfun]

Oh I agree it would be appropriate to involve a manager.  But given how horrible the situation is in Haiti, people might not be thinking clearly about it.  Emotion can really cloud how people respond and may have made the situation even worse for Kimblee.  

Back in the 80s, I was in a fast food place in Port Authority, grabbing some lunch before a bus trip.  A rather disheveled person dressed as a nun was going up to people at the tables to collect money.  A manager asked her to leave.  And people from all different tables were yelling at him about how dare he ask a sister to leave!  Fortunately, there was at least one cynic in the store.  Correction, one vocal cynic, I was a cynic but a silent one.  She yelled out, "how do you even know she's a nun."  Which was pretty much my thought and why I said, "no, thank you sister" when she stopped by my table.  After the vocal cynic's comment, people were yelling at both her and the manager.  I had finished my lunch and it looked like it could get ugly, so I left.

What if the manager were blinded by emotion and criticized Kimblee for reporting the person to the store?  I agree that would be very wrong, but it is a possibility and since the confrontation really bothered Kimblee, I don't know if such a confrontation would have helped.  Even if the manager was supportive, other people might have criticized the manager.  Or if the complaint was issued verbally or within the sight of other shoppers, they might even turn on her, which would have made an awful situation even worse.  

It seems like Kimblee didn't want to deal with any aggression/confrontation, so that's why I suggested the "I've donated, thank you" response.  If the person persists, you can ask for a brochure or a card and say you'll keep them in mind in the future.  And then you can check the various resources to see if they're legit.

If they're legit and being aggressive, you can report it to the store and charity.

If they're not legit, you can report it to the entity which govens charities in your area.  For the USA, it's usually the state's Attorney General's Office.

[Joannie81]

I don't think it's rude to not post status updates about disasters.  I also don't think it's rude to not donate or to choose your own personal charity to donate to for the cause.  I post very few causes on my status.  A lot of people don't understand that someone may have so much going on in thier lives that to add even one more thing, is going to make them non-functional.

[Nurvingiel]

Today at the store, I got accosted by someone trying to get me to donate to a charity for the victims. I demurred and got screamed at that I was heartless and cold.

So I went and cried in the bathroom for awhile.

To the other people coming in and out to potty, sorry you had to hear that. But I'm very bothered by how agressive some people are.

How awful.  Was it someone from the store itself or just some random person using the store?  A reputable charity should know better than to accost people and berate them when they decline to donate.  It really makes you question whether the money was going to relief or not. 

If you want to avoid any possible unpleasantness like that in the future, I think a little white lie of "I've already made a dontation, thank you" would be acceptable.

The manager of the store where you were accosted should have been summoned immediately when that happened.  That is absolutely outrageous. 

I'd bet my last dollar that the aggressive "fundraiser" was actually a scammer.

[Seraphia]

At first I thought the "text Haiti to ####" (I forget the number) thing was a scam, but then it turned out to be legitimate.

As far as posting awareness messages:

My pastor worked in a Haitian orphanage for many years, and brings students there every summer to work and help. His status messages for the past week have been about nothing but Haiti: how the orphanage is doing, how the children whose adoptions are pending are faring, ways to help, the status of supplies and fuel, etc.  I don't blame him one bit. I'm so glad he's getting the message out.

But just because someone else doesn't post that same stuff doesn't mean they're unkind. And just because another person reposts the pastor's messages doesn't mean that that person is inherently more caring. There's a difference between caring and riding a bandwagon until you get tired of it, and status updates aren't the place to judge who is in which camp.