Am I heartless if I don't jump on the bandwagon re: world disasters & tragedies?

[Nurvingiel]

My pastor worked in a Haitian orphanage for many years, and brings students there every summer to work and help. His status messages for the past week have been about nothing but Haiti: how the orphanage is doing, how the children whose adoptions are pending are faring, ways to help, the status of supplies and fuel, etc.  I don't blame him one bit. I'm so glad he's getting the message out.

These statuses I would want to see. Very much. In this case were talking about real people who's lives are turned upside down right now and I care about that.

"Post this in your status blah blah 93% don't etc." is just not really about anything.

[Kimblee]

Today at the store, I got accosted by someone trying to get me to donate to a charity for the victims. I demurred and got screamed at that I was heartless and cold.

So I went and cried in the bathroom for awhile.

To the other people coming in and out to potty, sorry you had to hear that. But I'm very bothered by how agressive some people are.

How awful.  Was it someone from the store itself or just some random person using the store?  A reputable charity should know better than to accost people and berate them when they decline to donate.  It really makes you question whether the money was going to relief or not. 

If you want to avoid any possible unpleasantness like that in the future, I think a little white lie of "I've already made a dontation, thank you" would be acceptable.

I did.

Then tried to walk into the store, they walked after me several feet, yelling at my back.

I know its a horrible thing to say, but it really made me not want to EVER donate! I feel like any donations, from me or anyone else, is encouraging this sort of behavior.

[Nurvingiel]

I still think that person is a scammer, but we'll never know.

Your feelings are not unwarranted Kimblee. How you were treated was horrible.

[Rohanna]

I am very sorry someone was horrible to you, but I really don't think that people should stop donating because it might encourage the very,very rare chance that someone, who was probably a scammer, might be a  it*deleted* about it. ht iI am sure you do not intend to imply that innocent men, women and children should die of disease, thirst or starve to death after an earthquake because people have been encourged not to donate to reputable charities.

I think the "93%" posts and "join this group to" groups are a waste of time and spam, but links to charities, thoughts on the matter, and personal stories are just human nature and sometimes valuable to the charities involved. NO ONE should be harrassed about it to the point of tears, but on the other hand- neither should devastating catastrophies be ignored when pocket change can make a difference! We at the Red Cross have brought in *millions* from social networking spreading the word - people clicking off myspace/facebook/email links and donating. If seeing one of these posts makes someone decide to drop some change in a bucket- then in my book that's a good thing.

I have been near tears from the outpouring of support by those touched enough to help their fellow man- for that IS what these people are...not just "another poor country"...these are *people* who have been hit by the worst quake in 200 years- this *is* news... how can it not be?

[Akarui Kibuno]

The only posts that I have commented about (about Haiti, specifically) are from an ex coworker. We met while working at Disney and I was reminded, through this tragedy, that he actually *is* from Haiti. First he got news that he lost his brother, then he lost his mom. Couldn't help but sending a message to indicate my support.

[kitty-cat]

I feel soo bad for the people in Hati, and the families of people in Hati.  That being said, I am starting to get annoyed with all of the "donate now" things going around. 

Yes I understand that they are a whole lot worse off than I ever will be, but that being said, I am just barely haning on financialy as it is.  My small paycheck has to pay for grocerys, utilities, car insurance, and school related expenses.  If I don't pay any of it, I suffer and I'm sorry but I've lived the starvation life before, I've known what it's like to not know where your next meal is comming from.  I have food anxiety because of it-I squirrel away food for when I feel there isn't enough in the pantry.

If I had the extra money lying around I would donate what I could.  But if it means that I have to go without food or utilities, I will be mean about it.

[Kimblee]

I am sure you do not intend to imply that innocent men, women and children should die of disease, thirst or starve to death after an earthquake because people have been encourged not to donate to reputable charities.

Absolutely not. I believe charitable donations are important and essential. But I hate people collecting donations in front of stores, especially when there are ones posted at EVERY door. Yes, pocket change could help save lives, but I simply don't have anything monitary to give. Our family is barely making it.

If there was something I could do to help the victims of the earthquake, I would. But as far as I know, I can't, so I will continue to donate to the charities that can use what i have to offer, and pray for the charities that have no use for me, that people who can help come forward.

But I know that at least a few people have been turned off of giving by aggresiveness and pushy collecters. I suspect its far more than that.

[Rohanna]

If one does not wish to, or cannot donate, then the onus is on you to politely say, "I'm sorry, but I can't at the moment". If you already donated recently and wish to point that out simply just say "I already gave somewhere", and smile. If people are pestering or bothering you at a store after you say this- then talk to management at that location that you are being harrassed.

On a different note- and only for those interested in helping but without the money to do so- you can donate your *time* as well I do not have a ton of spare cash myself, hence why I volunteer with the Red Cross- every person who helps is less money that needs to get spend on operating costs and therefore, more money to send to a disaster. There are many charities right now that could use another set of hands. Again- it's not that you have to, but if you are feeling a call to help but do not have money- it is another option   (Plus if you are out of work, it can help with a resume to have something new tob add on it! I have learned a lot of my "job" skills while working as a volunteer)

[artk2002]

If one does not wish to, or cannot donate, then the onus is on you to politely say, "I'm sorry, but I can't at the moment". If you already donated recently and wish to point that out simply just say "I already gave somewhere", and smile. If people are pestering or bothering you at a store after you say this- then talk to management at that location that you are being harrassed.

I disagree that the onus is on the prospective donor to say anything at all.  My financial choices are private and nobody (but my spouse) is entitled to know whether I have donated or not, nor whether I could afford to or not.  The onus is on the requestor to respect a "no, sorry."

[kherbert05]

I don't give to panhandling "charity Workers", because I'm a skeptic and simply don't believe they are on the up and up. The poster that was verbally attacked - I seriously doubt that was a real charity worker more likely an unbalanced scammer. I give my money and time to charities that meet my standards of ethics and financial responsibility.

When I'm harassed* I give the management of the store a heads up that this is going on. If they go outside and tell the people to leave or call the cops on them. I continue to shop. If they offer excuses for the "Good Cause" I take a feedback form and leave. Then I file a complaint about being harassed and the management making excuses. I've received more than one apology. I also encouraged my neighbors to do the same.

You know what a couple of years ago I couldn't go shopping during daylight hours on the weekend without being harassed, yelled at, called names, and even having little leaguers stand in front of my car at intersection of 2 6 lane roads when the light turned green because I wouldn't donate. Now the few people I see outside stores are Bell Ringers, Girl and Boy Scouts selling cookies/popcorn, VFW groups selling poppies, and school/ league teams selling BBQ. They are polite, don't grab me, and don't block the door.

*By harassed I mean asked more than once after I say no, having the door blocked, being called foul names, being grabbed, having my car blocked in,  and being spat at.

 

[Rohanna]

If one does not wish to, or cannot donate, then the onus is on you to politely say, "I'm sorry, but I can't at the moment". If you already donated recently and wish to point that out simply just say "I already gave somewhere", and smile. If people are pestering or bothering you at a store after you say this- then talk to management at that location that you are being harrassed.

I disagree that the onus is on the prospective donor to say anything at all.  My financial choices are private and nobody (but my spouse) is entitled to know whether I have donated or not, nor whether I could afford to or not.  The onus is on the requestor to respect a "no, sorry."

That's what I was trying to say- just with a slightly longer sentence. Just tell them no, politely. I don't think it's rude to ask but it *is* rude not to take a no.

[familyfun]

If one does not wish to, or cannot donate, then the onus is on you to politely say, "I'm sorry, but I can't at the moment". If you already donated recently and wish to point that out simply just say "I already gave somewhere", and smile. If people are pestering or bothering you at a store after you say this- then talk to management at that location that you are being harrassed.

I disagree that the onus is on the prospective donor to say anything at all.  My financial choices are private and nobody (but my spouse) is entitled to know whether I have donated or not, nor whether I could afford to or not.  The onus is on the requestor to respect a "no, sorry."

I agree 100%  No one has to give an explanation.  Technically, they don't even have to answer.  People are there to do shopping,  not to be solicited for donations.  I have no problems with say a collection bucket by the register.  Or tables set up in a shopping center or a mall. But actively soliciting customers is a bit different.

I don't give to panhandling "charity Workers", because I'm a skeptic and simply don't believe they are on the up and up. The poster that was verbally attacked - I seriously doubt that was a real charity worker more likely an unbalanced scammer. I give my money and time to charities that meet my standards of ethics and financial responsibility.

I don't give to organizatons collecting on the sidewalk either.  For years, a group called United Homeless Organization was collecting money in jugs in various parts of NYC supposedly for the homeless.  Always struck me as kind of odd, so I'd give to organizations like City Harvest instead.  The New York State Attorney General's office has filed suit against the group.  The suit alleges the donations were being used for personal expenses of the organizers instead of going to the homeless.  More details in this article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/16/nyregion/16uho.html

[lolane]

It's not rude for people to post on these topics and it's not rude to choose not to post on these topics or to choose not to respond/reply to posts on these topics.

[TychaBrahe]

I feel soo bad for the people in Hati, and the families of people in Hati.  That being said, I am starting to get annoyed with all of the "donate now" things going around. 

If I had the extra money lying around I would donate what I could.  But if it means that I have to go without food or utilities, I will be mean about it.

I don't think anyone expects you to go without food or utilities or to skip a rent payment.  But do you know anyone who does have money?  If you spread the word about a charity that you care about and trust, someone who does have money and has no idea how to give may respond.

I know someone who works on a radio station in Los Angeles.  His wife is the director of a school in Haiti and on the board of a charity that runs the school, an orphanage, and a medical clinic that serves the nearby community.  As a result of his pleas for support for this charity, they have raised $50,000 in donations.  I was happy to help spread the word about it.

[look in the tunk]

I think the "93%" posts and "join this group to" groups are a waste of time and spam, but links to charities, thoughts on the matter, and personal stories are just human nature and sometimes valuable to the charities involved.

Pod. I don't think it's rude at all to not "jump on the bandwagon." I don't think real charity links, etc. are rude either unless it's taken to far to the point of spam. Other things I pretty much ignore. Of course rumors have been going crazy since the Earthquake - I don't understand why people can't take two minutes to research things before posting.

On a slighted related note - has Facebook turned into a "causes" site for anyone else? I thought about doing another topic on it, but I figured I'd just ask here. It seems like so many of my FB friends have literally jumped on every. single. bandwagon out there. My news feed has started to be filled with nothing but causes anymore.