I didn't want to hijack the thread about guests RSVPing and then not showing up, but... here is a little background information...
I have 2 boys whose birthdays are 3 days apart. They have a joint party every year. My oldest (DS1) also has a younger brother from his dad whose birthday is 6 days before his. (all in December, lol).
DS1 goes to his dad's house every other weekend. the little boy who lives next door to his dad is his age and is his 'best friend.' We';; call him RudeKid 4 years ago my kids decided they wanted to have skating parties. They sent out their invites, and this RudeKid's mom RSVPed that he would be there. Great!
Well he shows up at skateland fine, but he REFUSES to participate in any party activities. basically he wanted to skate for free, I guess, b/c he would not come over for cake or presents. He did not even leave his shoes at our table with everyone else's. I was very irritated b/c he wasn't invited so I could pay for him to skate, he was invited to celebrate my son's birthday with him! DS1 says RudeKid is just REALLY shy and didn't want to be around all those people.
Fine...the next year DS1 invited him again. I reminded him how he had refused to celebrate with us, but DS1 really wanted to invite him so we did. He RSVPed yes, but yet again refused to join the party. The kicker? by sheer coincedence, DS1's little brother was having his 3rd bday party there at the same time. RudeKid DID join THAT party, even though I was the one who paid for his admittance to the skateland. So I guess he isn't THAT shy.
By this time I was pretty fed up with RudeKid, but I try to let my kids learn their life lessons for themselves. Come July, I decided to take DS1 and a friend to local Big Amusement Park and to a Jesse McCartney concert there that night to reward DS1 for being admitted to the gifted program. DS1 wants to invite RudeKid. Obviously I didn't want him to, but I figured since it is not a party, it should be okay. I called RudeKid's mom myself. Advised I am paying for amusement park tickets AND concert tickets and would RudeKid like to go or should we invite someone else? Mom asks RudeKid and he is very excited, She says yes he can go. I confirmed with Mom the night before the show again and everything was on track. When I went to go pick up RudeKid, some other neighborhood kids were over to play and he decided WHEN I GOT THERE TO PICK HIM UP that he would rather stay home and play with them than go to the park and concert like he promised my son.
I could tell DS1 was really hurt, but he was making excuses for RudeKid. I was very glad I knew this kid's antics already and had not bought the tickets in advance, and DS1 and I went by ourselves as it was too late to invite anyone else to join us.
When December rolled around again my kids did not want to do a skating party. We opted to rent a hall and have some mad scientist entertainers come in. It was very important that I had an accurate headcount b/c it would cost X amount for up to 10 kids, and XX amount (a good deal more) for any more than that. The night before the party I was missing 5 RSVPs and I started chasing them down. When I called RudeKid's mom she said she wasn't sure and would have to ask RK's Dad and call back. hours later I still hadn't heard anything so I called again. It had come down to RudeKid being the last RSVP and the difference between the 2 price ranges. RudeKid's mom seemed to totally have forgotten that we had spoken earlier and finally says "Oh, sure" about whether or not RudeKid will be at the party. Guess who doesn't show? Right... RudeKid. How much would I have liked to bill his mom for the extra entertainment amount we had to pay for him when he didn't even show up!
In January my kids won a "Super Bowl" party @ the local bowling alley. It was basically a bowling party on superbowl sunday. Again, DS1 INSISTED on inviting his 'BEST FRIEND' Again, I pointed out the numerous times RudeKid had flaked on him. He still invited him. RudeKid RSVPed yes... and again, he didn't show. No call, nothing... just didn't show up. Well, at least that one didn't cost me any money - just a spot that DS1 could have had another friend bowl in.
This year the kids decided to go skating again for their party. I FINALLY put my foot down and said RudeKid would NOT be invited this year. I am starting to think my son will never learn that this is not how firends treat each other
Of course this year had it's own issues... like 2 of DS2's friends who didn't show up until after 3 for a 2:00 party, when the invite specifically said cake would be served @ 2:10 (that was when we had the party room). Not a huge deal though... they missed out on the cake but DS2 was still thrilled when they showed up. And I was so glad that I didn't need to deal with RudeKid this year!!!
So do you think I did the right thing by finally putting my foot down about this kid? It is DS's birthday and he SHOULD be allowed to invite anyone he wants there, but... he's 12 years old and He's been getting walked on by this kid for 4 years now! What do you think?