S/O You've been defriended - telling them why

[Sock Puppet]

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[miss_ann_thrope]

What an attention-seeking, rude, little snowflake! She de-friended you, and then told you *why* she de-friended you?   I...that's just ridiculousness.

She just wants the attention. She wants you to apologize for whatever excuse she's using as the reason for de-friending you. So that she can feel important, and needed ("see, she *was* wrong and now she knows it!").

I'd say ignore her message. And de-friend her right back. You don't need egotistic people like her in your life.


I'm offended, angry and hurt on your behalf!  

[Thriving ~ the next adventure]

POD

[SisJackson]

I just had something like this recently happen!  One of my FB friends posted a status message saying something like:

"I am in the process of culling my friends list.  I will be keeping only the people who have a special connection with me or who I feel add something to my life.  Please feel free to check back over the next couple of days to see how you made out!"

Her next status, a day or so later, said, "Congratulations, if you're seeing this message then I have counted you worthy to remain my friends list, LOL!  Thanks for being a part of my life."

Yay, good for me, I made it.

I just thought it was a really rude way to say to certain people, "I don't think you're special." I only hope she was mostly joking, because normally she's a really nice person.  I do hope she didn't send people "feedback" on why they were being dumped....

[Goog]

WOW!  Sounds like she was feeling insecure and decided to exact some revenge on people for some perceived slights against her.  Ignore her.  And it will probably bug her that you didn't try to defend yourself or email her back.  I wouldn't be surprised if you hear something else from her so she feels validated.

[hot_shaker]

I was thinking about posting a similar thread because several times in the past few weeks I've had friends post status updates saying they were culling their friend list.  While I can certainly understand the need to cull, I don't understand the need to announce it.  I know that there are some people who have defriended me but I don't know when or why.  I didn't take personally; I just figured they were trying to keep their friend list to only friends, not someone they went to school with a decade ago.

In most cases, it just seems like the person is trying to make him/herself feel important.  (I can think of one case where the announcement made sense though.)

Just curious, what were her reasons (generally, speaking)?  Were they more substantial, like, "You stole my husband and kidnapped my dog."  Or more superficial, like, "You won't join my mafia."

[Wittyone]

I just had something like this recently happen!  One of my FB friends posted a status message saying something like:

"I am in the process of culling my friends list.  I will be keeping only the people who have a special connection with me or who I feel add something to my life.  Please feel free to check back over the next couple of days to see how you made out!"

Her next status, a day or so later, said, "Congratulations, if you're seeing this message then I have counted you worthy to remain my friends list, LOL!  Thanks for being a part of my life."

Yay, good for me, I made it.

I just thought it was a really rude way to say to certain people, "I don't think you're special." I only hope she was mostly joking, because normally she's a really nice person.  I do hope she didn't send people "feedback" on why they were being dumped....


I had a friend pull this trick.  I made it through round one, but was appalled at the status update, when he announced a second round I defriended him instead.  But in this case he wasn't really a friend at all.  I had accidentally friended him, during a time I was friending a lot of people.  When he accepted my request I had to ask my husband who he was. Turns out we never met, but know a lot of the same people.  We had some good interaction on FB, but good enough for me to want to remain his friend through something so rude, and off-putting.

[TootsNYC]

Block her!

You absolutely know she's going to come back and want a response from you, and when there's nothing in her e-mail box, she's going to try to check your status.

Give her a little surprise. Just block her.

(and maybe that'll slow you down enough to think twice if you contemplate contacting her)

[sammycat]

Block her!

You absolutely know she's going to come back and want a response from you, and when there's nothing in her e-mail box, she's going to try to check your status.

Give her a little surprise. Just block her.

(and maybe that'll slow you down enough to think twice if you contemplate contacting her)

I agree with Toots.

This sort of thing is akin to the status updates that say "The whole world is against me", or "All will be revealed soon...".  I refuse to buy into the drama and self centredeness that these sorts of posts invoke.

[lovestoread]

Block her!

You absolutely know she's going to come back and want a response from you, and when there's nothing in her e-mail box, she's going to try to check your status.

Give her a little surprise. Just block her.

(and maybe that'll slow you down enough to think twice if you contemplate contacting her)

I agree with Toots.

This sort of thing is akin to the status updates that say "The whole world is against me", or "All will be revealed soon...".  I refuse to buy into the drama and self centredeness that these sorts of posts invoke.

I absolutely HATE those kinds of posts.  Just post 'I want attention', you (general you) may as well be honest!!  nothing more irritating than someone acting coy on facebook!!

[Kit Porter]

"You won't join my mafia."

Just woke up the neighbors, I laughed so hard!  Geez, I'm one of those wimps who quietly defriends you and hopes you never notice.

[hot_shaker]

This is one of the threads on my former BFF Kay. It will give you an idea of how our friendship has been going and some of her reasons.
http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=66739.0

Okay, every link I clicked on led to another link.  I didn't read them all but I can tell that this girl's trouble.

Block her!

Would she know if you were blocking her?  If so, I would suggest against this course of action only because I would want her to know that I got her silly message and I just didn't care.  It'll drive her mad, I say!

"You won't join my mafia."

Just woke up the neighbors, I laughed so hard!  Geez, I'm one of those wimps who quietly defriends you and hopes you never notice.

Hey, some people take their Mafia veeery seriously. I think quietly defriending is the way to go, personally.  If the person did something, then they probably know why they were defriended.  If they didn't do anything, they probably realize that it wasn't personal.

[Cyradis]

I vote for block and don't give her another thought. Former BFF is hoping for drama.

[Queenie]

Someone is a *Drama Queen*.  You do not need to explain why you de-friend someone unless you choose to do so if asked for an explanation.  The woman in the OP is drumming up drama in her life, apparently she doesn't have enough in it already so she creates it.

[familyfun]

If any  of my friends made such an attention seeking announcement, I think I'd pre-emptorily defriend them first. Especially with the egomaniacal nonsense about check to see if you're still on the friends list.   Unless it was someone close to me, then I would see what was up.  

I understand people may want to cull their friends list, but to carry on like one is Tyra holding the envelopes which determine who makes it to the next round of America's Next Top Model is silly.  And I wouldn't want anything to do with such a drama llama.  Too exhausting.