Am I being rude by being offline?

[Zilla]

I don't mind IM....when I have my IM selected online.  But I mostly sometimes just want to play games or just chill reading stuff on Facebook and not in the mood to chat.

I gotten several wall posts and private emails asking why am I in stealth mode...or why am I being a ghost....etc

Am I being rude?

[Amava]

Absolutely not.

What I do, is change the settings of the games so that the results don't get posted on my wall. Then nobody can see I am on facebook at all.

But even if I didn't do that, and even if they did see me, it would not be rude.

You don't always have to be available for chatting. It's like reading a book during your lunch break, rather than talking to people. That is completely up to you, and not rude.

[BettyDraper]

You are not being rude but the people challenging you are.

It's akin to the old days when the butler would tell callers "Madam is not at home."   Madam may well have been visible out in the back garden snipping rosebuds, but she was not at home -- available to -- visitors.  That was perfectly proper then and it's perfectly proper now.  (Had the visitors said "But she's right over there!" they would have been considered beyond the pale.)

You are never obliged to be socially on call 24/7, electronically or otherwise.

[Akarui Kibuno]

Nope, you're not.

In fact, I think it's somewhat ruder to appear "online" and avoid speaking to people. If you're busy, be offline, OR just "appear" offline so that you can hop online if you notice someone that you want to speak to.

It's actually just like phones   . Being "online" is like having the ringer on. Being "busy" is like having vibrate on, and being a ghost or offline is like having the phone turned off. None of which is rude   .

In fact, the people questioning you about it ARE being rude!

At the moment, because I'm out of a job I spent a LOT of time online. And when I say a LOT, I mean it. Maybe 2PM-3AM (yeah, I know) or a little more. I'm on IM for most of that time as well. Sometimes, of course, I go out.

One of my friends had the gall to be surprised that I can have a life and, you know, GET OUT, haha. I left for two days and when I got back "Oh, a ghost!" .........buh ?? I just laughed it off and told him that people who want me to "get a life" (aka find a job, go out of the apartment) should not be surprised when I actually do it   .

[Zilla]

I do have my notifications off and my IM on offline.  I think they know I am online becuase I completed a tournament or took a turn in a scrabble game etc.  Or I leveled up or sent "energy" packs etc.

Hmm I am glad to know that I am not being rude!

[Akarui Kibuno]

I do have my notifications off and my IM on offline.  I think they know I am online becuase I completed a tournament or took a turn in a scrabble game etc.  Or I leveled up or sent "energy" packs etc.

Hmm I am glad to know that I am not being rude!

Hehe ^^ ... and sometimes, let's say you're home doing stuff but in between you click on your game. Who's to say you can sit in front of the computer long enough to carry a conversation anyway, heh ?

[2littlemonkeys]

I don't think so, I keep my status offline most of the time.  I don't spend a lot of time on FB, I just pop on and off to see what people are up to.  I've been caught up in an IM convo a couple of times when I was just popping in for a second and then had to go do something else but it felt rude to say so.  So now I only change my status when I have the time to talk to anyone.

[Spring Water on Sundays]

How do you set your IM status to offline?

[Zilla]

You click on chat on the lower right corner, then you click on Options for Offline.

[siamesecat2965]

I don't think its rude; I do it quite often, and I will admit to doing it more when certain other folks are online.  I don't tell them this, of course, but they like to have long, drawn out IM conversations, and I am more of a Hi, how are you...etc. and then go about my business type of person.

[Queenie]

One is not rude for not answering the phone, door, AIM, e-mail or whatever.  What is rude is people who express their displeasure at you not being at their electronic beck and call 24/7, and acting as thought the future of civilization depended on it.

It's not rude to be busy with other things and unavailable or "not at home".

[artk2002]

Being offline != rude
Berating someone for not being available 24/7 via cell phone or online == very rude moving into badly entitled.

I used Yahoo Messenger 8-9 years ago (whenever they started the darn thing.)  After about 2 weeks, I put myself permanently on "invisible."  If I want to talk to someone, I'll contact them.  My life, my choice.

[MineralDiva]

No, it's not rude to be online but show as not being online.  In fact, I wish I could figure out how to do that for Facebook, so that I don't show up on people's "chat" windows as being available.  Yet, I still want to see who else is there.  I use "invisible" mode on my yahoo account all the time. If I want to talk, I can.  If not, nobody is the wiser...and that's just how I like it.

[squeakers]

I am always "offline" on facebook.  I have even mentioned it before as a status update.  I don't want my friends knowing just how addicted I really am 

To be offline you just click "chat" "options" "go offline".

With well over 3000 game friends.. I didn't want to have to worry about someone wanting to Cyber (not my thing).  The few times I do go online to talk to one specific person I usually have only 1 or 2 others pop a message my way.  Good! I hate chat.. I am a slow typer.

[blarg314]

I don't see you are doing anything wrong.

I don't want to chat when I'm playing a game, because I'm playing a game. I also multitask a lot - I'll have Facebook open, but also be processing data and watching TV, or be switching between my desk top and lap top. In that case, I'm not likely to even see chat requests.