**I put this here because while several of us are friends in RL and have regular get togethers, we all initially "met" through an online forum. **
BG: Roughly 3-4 years ago (not sure of the timeline as it was prior to our friendship), one of my friends was raped by a former coworker. She never went to the police, so no evidence was collected. It was during her time in the military and she did go to her first shirt and inform her chain of command. However with no evidence, it was just a case of conflicting stories and their hands were tied. They tried to make sure there was little to no contact between the two individuals from that point on. She is currently out of the military and has moved several states away with no contact. It should also be noted that she has refused to go to individual counseling/group therapy, online support forums for survivors/victims, all offers of assistance. I actually made her lists of places to contact (physical, phone numbers, or online) to seek help in dealing with her situation for her prior and current locations. I've also talked to her husband (who in turn urged to to seek help) to no avail. No one can make her and she refuses.
The problem that I have is that her trouble dealing with the trauma is starting to affect her friendships with other board members as well as the atmosphere of the forum. She's becoming more and more vocal about her past trauma to the point that she brings it into unrelated topics. Someone could post about the weather being warm and she will post about how it was warm the night that she was attacked. It's even worse when people are posting things where they're upset (one of our members recently lost her father to cancer), because then she will tell them that no matter how bad they have it, she's had it worse because she was raped. We try to beandip and ignore her posts like this, but she just keeps on. She's escalated now to the point that if her posts aren't acknowledged, she will make a thread about how she isn't appreciated. I'm sick of the emotional blackmail.
Normally, a mod would take care of this, however she IS a mod. The rest of the mod team appears to be of the "ignore it and it will go away" mentality, but it's not going away. We've had a member tell her to basically knock it off and get help because she's making everyone uncomfortable, but it's just getting worse... I hate sitting around and watching a place that I loved to be a part of grind to a halt because no one wants to post something for fear of what she will say next. Short of creating a new forum and giving everyone BUT her the link, I'm not sure what to do. As her closest friend there, I've been "elected" to approach her about curbing her behavior, but I'm not sure quite how to do this without offending her.
So basically, I need help in how to politely ask her to not talk about her traumatic experience PLEASE!