Posting advertisements on FB

[bah12]

I'm not sure if this subject has already been discussed.  I did a search, but may not have used the correct keywords.

I have a FB account and have friended many people from my past, who at one time I had a close relationship with, but today really only keep in touch through FB.

One such friend, Kelly, is an old college friend.  She and I have been FB friends for a while now, but do not regularly talk or post on each other's walls.  I have seen on my home page that she has recently developed a baby/children's product and is actively selling it on the web.  She has posted status updates, create a fan site, and posted the links on her wall and I really don't have a problem with small business owners using the accessibility of FB to advertise, as long as it's on their page.

I announced the birth of my DD on my page and posted a couple of pictures of her.  Kelly commented on one of the pictures and then sent me a pm that congratulated me and asked how things are going.  In her email, she included a short update on herself and her family and included a link to her product website in case I wanted to check out what she has been doing.  I did check out the link, but I am not interested in her product.  It is not something I believe my child needs and if it was something that I wanted for her, I could easily make it myself.

I wrote Kelly back and let her know that my family and I were all fine and that I was happy to hear from her.  I told her that I was glad she was doing well and left it at that.  I did not comment specifically on her product outside of a short note congratulating her on becoming the entrepreneur she always dreamed about.

Kelly then posted a link to her website on my wall with a comment about how I and my other friends with small children will appreciate this great new product.  I saw it as spam and removed it.  I did not say anything to Kelly about it.

Kelly then sent me another PM that asked why I had removed it and if I had something against her company. 

I want to respond to Kelly without sounding too angry (I am).  I have nothing against personal advertising on FB, but I do have a problem with her advertising on my wall without my permission.  I also do not want to be pressured into purchasing anything from her just because we are old friends (and in her defense, she has not come out and asked me to).

So, my questions are:

1.  Was it rude of Kelly to include a link to her website in a PM, even though she presented it as a "we haven't talked and this is what I do now" sort of thing.

2.  I am sure that it was rude, or at least presumptuous, of her to post an advertisement on my wall, but how do I respond to her inquiry without sounding harsh and angry?  I want to remain friends with her and I honestly don't think she was intending to cross any lines, but she did, and I want to make it clear to her how I feel about that.

3.  How do others feel about this?  If I can say that I am not offended by advertising on their own walls (which in turn ends up on my home page anyway), is it hypocritical of me to say that I don't want anything posted on my personal wall? 

Some more background that may be relevant.  In the last few months, Kelly has been pushing hard to get her product out there.  I've noticed that the latest pictures posted of her own children are with them posing with and using her products.  She has rarely posted a status update that doesn't include something about her product, whether it be her using it, something cute her DD said about it, or how humbled she is by all the good feedback she's gotten about it.  And again, while I don't have a huge problem with her using her site to advertise, I almost wonder if it really is a friend site to her, or just a means of advertisement...and if it's the later, I am considering defriending her, because I no longer feel she is actually trying to keep in touch with me more than she is trying to sell me something.

[Wavicle]

I don't think she was rude to mention it, particularly as a "This is what I am up to now" because I may be interested in a friend's business. Posting an ad on your wall seems too pushy, and since it is your wall she should not be upset about anything being taken down (which is what I would have done).

I don't do much so I am confused about how this works a bit, but if she posts it on your wall your friends can see it, right? Instead of just using her own firends list, she is taking advantage of yours. I am not entirely sure what I would respond with, maybe just "I already reviewed your website and I am not interested in purchasing anything at this time." and hope that she takes the hint that she is pushing too much.

I think she would be better off having a separate business page, because it does seem off to me to use your friends as free advertising. A few updates are fine, because it is part of her life. It isn't the only part of her life though, and she may find she loses friends over it.

[bah12]

I don't think she was rude to mention it, particularly as a "This is what I am up to now" because I may be interested in a friend's business. Posting an ad on your wall seems too pushy, and since it is your wall she should not be upset about anything being taken down (which is what I would have done).

I don't do much so I am confused about how this works a bit, but if she posts it on your wall your friends can see it, right? Instead of just using her own firends list, she is taking advantage of yours. I am not entirely sure what I would respond with, maybe just "I already reviewed your website and I am not interested in purchasing anything at this time." and hope that she takes the hint that she is pushing too much.

I think she would be better off having a separate business page, because it does seem off to me to use your friends as free advertising. A few updates are fine, because it is part of her life. It isn't the only part of her life though, and she may find she loses friends over it.

Per the bolded, this is correct.  We have a few friends in common, but there are roughly 200 or so people that would see something on my wall, but not hers.

[Fluffy Cat]

1.  Not rude, but I wouldn't do it
2.  Rude.  Just tell her you appreciate the thought (optional), but you don't like to use your facebook page for business purposes.
3.  I wouldn't have cared about the PM, but I would have been mildly annoyed about the wall posting (I would have deleted it as you did) and   
very annoyed at the subsequent interrogation. 

[blarg314]

1.  Not rude, but I wouldn't do it
2.  Rude.  Just tell her you appreciate the thought (optional), but you don't like to use your facebook page for business purposes.
3.  I wouldn't have cared about the PM, but I would have been mildly annoyed about the wall posting (I would have deleted it as you did) and   
very annoyed at the subsequent interrogation. 

I agree with this. The first could be counted as a what am I doing now thing, the second was pure advertising, and it's fine for you to delete that without comment.

[kschmid5]

If you want to respond to her question, I would say something like "Friend, I'm very happy that you've had so much success with Product A and that you are so enthusiastic about selling it. However, since I have never used Product A, and I don't forsee using it in the near future, I am uncomfortable letting a post endorsing it on my Wall.  I think it makes it look like I am endorsing product A, when I have no experience with it. I don't want my other friends to get the wrong idea about it, so please don't post any more comments like that on my Wall.  I don't mind getting your shop updates though, I always look to see if you have something that might interest me."

[kschmid5]

If you want to respond to her question, I would say something like "Friend, I'm very happy that you've had so much success with Product A and that you are so enthusiastic about selling it. However, since I have never used Product A, and I don't forsee using it in the near future, I am uncomfortable allowing a post endorsing it on my Wall.  I think it makes it look like I am endorsing product A, when I have no experience with it. I don't want my other friends to get the wrong idea about it, so please don't post any more comments like that on my Wall.  I don't mind getting your shop updates though, I always look to see if you have something that might interest me."

[bah12]

Thinking about it, I think if she had just sent me another PM that said something like "I was wondering if I could post a link to my company on your wall.  The product is new and I'm just trying to get the word out to as many people as I can", I probably would have been ok with it.  It's not so much that she's advertising as it is that she's advertising on my wall without my permission.

But then again, we don't normally ask permission to write on our friends' walls...are advertisements different?

[Fluffy Cat]

But then again, we don't normally ask permission to write on our friends' walls...are advertisements different?

I think so.  I'm always careful about what I put on a friend's wall versus my own whether its personal, political, or religous-related items.  I would say business-related items would fall under that list as well. 

[Miss March]

I would just make a blanket statement about how I don't use my facebook account to promote any businesses, sorry.