How to word something disturbing...

[Twik]

The trouble is that, even if the video itself is completely innocent, is she content knowing that some of the viewers may be using it for prurient purposes?

Me, I figure I can't be responsible for the behavior of everyone out there. If they want to do something naughty with or to something I posted, I can't stop 'em.

You can't stop them. But do you want to post videos of your child knowing that, for some people, it may be used for, to put it bluntly, their own gratification?

If it were my child, that thought would squick me out enough to make me think twice.

[Prim_n_Proper]

Say nothing. She knows she has 800 friends.

Yeah, but her kid doesn't know she has 800 friends nor has her kid agreed to having his or her naked image shared with 800 people.  More than that actually, since this woman's profile is public.   I'm childfree and I normally think parents are overly paranoid about predators.  But it sounds like she could use some of that paranoia.  Any pedophile can view this video.  And probably get a whole bunch of information about the family's location, routine, etc.  Not only does this woman sounds like she's got some major boundary issues, this seems to be a pretty clear case of safety trumps etiquette.  What exactly was going through her brain when she decided to post this?

If someone wants to leave their car unlocked with a key in the ignition and a sign saying, "please steal me" that's their business.  But we're talking about a child, an actual little human being, who's safety & dignity is at risk here. Is there a mutual friend you could approach who is closer to her?  That would be an ideal approach.

If not, I would suggest something like,

"I know Facebook can feel very cozy and intimate, but you may want to consider limiting access to your child's video or not posting it at all.  He or she hasn't given consent to the video being shared.  Also, you don't know what people who have access to it will do with it."  Maybe supplement it with a Google link with her name/the kids and the Facebook profile coming up.  And some safety sites.  

Because, let's face it, there's no way she can know 800 people well enough to trust them with naked videos of her child.  I seriously wonder about her parenting abilities.

If she doesn't take it down after something along those lines, I'd consider reporting it to Facebook for TOS violations.  Also, I'm certainly not going to turn this into a legal thing which would get it locked, but I'd also be concerned over whether it would be considered child pornography in her jurisdiction.  I don't know if this would be considered child abuse or not, but if she doesn't take it down or limit access, I would seriously consider talking to social services in your area to get their take on it.  Again, I have no expertise in the field, but it concerns me enough that I would run it past someone who does. 

I agree.  If the parent doesn't have the common sense to know better, then I would report it to the Facebook TOS people. 

[cbcb]

The trouble is that, even if the video itself is completely innocent, is she content knowing that some of the viewers may be using it for prurient purposes?

Me, I figure I can't be responsible for the behavior of everyone out there. If they want to do something naughty with or to something I posted, I can't stop 'em.

But when the "something" they're doing "naughty things" to is an image of your child? I'm sorry, but that's disgusting.

Not to mention how a child (now, or when she's older) might feel about something like that being posted for 800+ to view.

I wouldn't be surprised if the video is now gone because it was reported to facebook. They are very careful about copyright violations - I'd think naked images of children would be something they'd also look out for.

[TychaBrahe]

Technically it's "child porn," and I would warn her of that.

Teenagers have been prosecuted for possession of child porn for sending images of themselves flashing their chests to their boyfriends, or for receiving those photos. 

The way I look at it is, if I had a friend from out of town and we were driving down Lake Shore Drive, and I noticed that we were going 55, I would inform them that while this looks like an expressway, it's not, and the speed limit is 45.  If I had a friend from another country where seatbelts weren't mandatory and we got into a car here, I would inform them that buckling up is the law.  After being informed, they can do as they wish, but I would prefer to assume the Facebook friend is ignorant of the law rather than that she's distributing illicit photos.

[RedRuby]

Technically it's "child porn," and I would warn her of that.

Teenagers have been prosecuted for possession of child porn for sending images of themselves flashing their chests to their boyfriends, or for receiving those photos. 

The way I look at it is, if I had a friend from out of town and we were driving down Lake Shore Drive, and I noticed that we were going 55, I would inform them that while this looks like an expressway, it's not, and the speed limit is 45.  If I had a friend from another country where seatbelts weren't mandatory and we got into a car here, I would inform them that buckling up is the law.  After being informed, they can do as they wish, but I would prefer to assume the Facebook friend is ignorant of the law rather than that she's distributing illicit photos.

I agree. Plus it's not just this one woman that's involved. It's her child who has no voice in this. I disagree with previous posters who say it's not the OP's place to say anything. Sitting by and doing nothing when a child is being mistreated is not something I could do. Safety trumps etiquette. Even though this woman means no harm, a HUGE amount of harm could be done to this child. I'm relieved to hear the video was taken down and, OP, I'm glad you were alarmed enough to ask advice on what course of action to take!

[Hushabye]

Guys, please stop throwing around the "child porn" accusations.  There is a specific legal definition of child porn and without having seen the video, none of us can say whether it was or was not (if you're curious, here's the federal statute: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=2451).  This is getting into legal territory.

I think in a situation like this, the best course of action is to report the photos/videos to Facebook for a potential TOS violation.

[RedRuby]

Guys, please stop throwing around the "child porn" accusations.  There is a specific legal definition of child porn and without having seen the video, none of us can say whether it was or was not (if you're curious, here's the federal statute: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=2451).  This is getting into legal territory.

I think in a situation like this, the best course of action is to report the photos/videos to Facebook for a potential TOS violation.

I didn't get the impression anyone was saying this was definitively child porn. Just that it could be, which is certainly true.

[Hushabye]

Guys, please stop throwing around the "child porn" accusations.  There is a specific legal definition of child porn and without having seen the video, none of us can say whether it was or was not (if you're curious, here's the federal statute: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=2451).  This is getting into legal territory.

I think in a situation like this, the best course of action is to report the photos/videos to Facebook for a potential TOS violation.

I didn't get the impression anyone was saying this was definitively child porn. Just that it could be, which is certainly true.

I should have quoted Tycha, who said, "Technically, it's 'child porn' and I would warn her of that."  Without seeing it, there's no way to know.

[RedRuby]

Guys, please stop throwing around the "child porn" accusations.  There is a specific legal definition of child porn and without having seen the video, none of us can say whether it was or was not (if you're curious, here's the federal statute: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=2451).  This is getting into legal territory.

I think in a situation like this, the best course of action is to report the photos/videos to Facebook for a potential TOS violation.

I didn't get the impression anyone was saying this was definitively child porn. Just that it could be, which is certainly true.

I should have quoted Tycha, who said, "Technically, it's 'child porn' and I would warn her of that."  Without seeing it, there's no way to know.

Ah. Gotcha. I didn't see that one.

[TychaBrahe]

Guys, please stop throwing around the "child porn" accusations.  There is a specific legal definition of child porn and without having seen the video, none of us can say whether it was or was not (if you're curious, here's the federal statute: http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PageServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US&PageId=2451).  This is getting into legal territory.

I think in a situation like this, the best course of action is to report the photos/videos to Facebook for a potential TOS violation.

That is the federal statute.  Various states have their own statutes.  Wisconsin's is similar to the federal law.  Alabama's says child porn includes images which merely depict "...breast nudity, genital nudity..." of children.  Despite the dissimilarity of the two states' laws, teens in both states were prosecuted for exchanging or posting nude photos of themselves or their girl/boyfriends.

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/technology&id=6555650

Even if it were legal in my state to post such a video, in legal terms only (even if I didn't think it was an inconsiderate thing to do) I would not do so because I would not want the hassle of dealing with the court system.  It can cost an awful lot of money in legal fees to prove you never should have been arrested in the first place.

[Winterlight]

I figure that the kid hasn't agreed to it, can't agree to it and I shouldn't be posting it.

[bah12]

The trouble is that, even if the video itself is completely innocent, is she content knowing that some of the viewers may be using it for prurient purposes?

Me, I figure I can't be responsible for the behavior of everyone out there. If they want to do something naughty with or to something I posted, I can't stop 'em.

This hopefully would not be your attitude if what you posted was about your child, especially pictures and videos.  That's disgusting!

As for messaging the friend?  I think I would send a PM that says something like "saw the cute video of your child!  Adorable.  BTW, do you know all your FB friends who are viewing this?  I don't think I could post something like this on such a public page"  I think there are better ways to say that....

I wouldn't care if my friend got offended and de-friended me.  I would just want to warn her in case she didn't think about that before...

[familyfun]

As for messaging the friend?  I think I would send a PM that says something like "saw the cute video of your child!  Adorable.  BTW, do you know all your FB friends who are viewing this?  I don't think I could post something like this on such a public page"  I think there are better ways to say that....

I wouldn't care if my friend got offended and de-friended me.  I would just want to warn her in case she didn't think about that before...

I would leave out the "I don't think I could post something like this on such a public page".  But other than that, that's a good way to approach it.  And add some links re: kids & online safety.  IMO, approaching it as if she isn't quite aware of all the implications would be best. 

If she still left it up, I would report it to FB TOS people and the authorities, depending on the law in her jurisdiction.  In my state, a teenaged girl texted a topless photo of herself  to a boyfriend. Just nudity, no activity.   When they broke up, he forwarded it and there was talk of charging him with child pornography because of her age.  Even the link to the federal page says it can range from images of genitalia and then lists the other forms.  If the child's genitals are viewable, it's possible it could be considered child pornography.  But I'm not a lawyer, so I can't say one way or the other.  Just that it's a possibility. 

I wouldn't worry about her getting offended and defriending me, because I'd be defriending anyone who wouldn't respect the diginity of their child or that child's safety by knowingly sharing the child's naked images with 800 people.