Umm I am not competing with you!

[Zilla]

I play three games on Facebook.  I play them just to play them.  I don't look to see what "place" I am in my list of friends/neighbors, I play at my own pace etc. 

I had a few friends complain that they are on more and yet I am still beating them and how am I doing this?

Umm I am not competing and I don't know.

One even went so far to say that she played several hours straight to "beat" me.

Ok.  Congrats?

What do I say to that? 

[Surianne]

I don't see a problem with this?  It's fun to pick someone on your list to try to beat.  They're probably just making conversation and admiring your skill, unless I'm missing something?

I used to play tetris a lot on Facebook and my score was always higher than my friends'...they'd jokingly complain about it and it was a lot of fun for all of us.

[Zilla]

It is one thing to say, "Ooh you are beating me!"  and another to say, "How the heck do you keep winning!  I played for hours just to beat your score and you are still beating me!"  Almost accusing me of something.  Very bizarre.

I just defriended her.

[hot_shaker]

Um, wow, that seems a little harsh.  I really don't understand how a little good-natured competition offended you so much.     (Maybe if she had called you names and drifted into more trash talk.)

What is/was your relationship with this person?  Were you not really friends anyway?

While I don't send messages, I do try to beat people in the one game I play because it's more fun with a goal.

[squeakers]

I play a lot of games.  I have a RL friend who had just started.  Pretty soon she passed me on one of my games.  I congratulated her.  She was a bit "Why is it taking you so long to get to X level when I got there so fast?" I replied "Because FarmTown is one of the games I play to relax."  Months later.. I am still play FT and her farm sits withered because she lost interest.

I figure the only person I am really competing with is myself: will I get bored and stop playing a game (pirates rule the caribbean=800 in my crew and seldom play it) or will I keep doing my missions over and over (vamp wars-- all missions mastered, 1500 in my clan.. getting boring but not enough to quit playing) or just take a break from it (tons of games  )

When my friend was bragging and asking why.. it did make me feel a bit uncomfortable.  I stopped playing FT for about 2 weeks.  I played other games.  Then I went back and am continuing to work towards my goal= mansion.

And my friend has started playing other games and no longer sends me drinks/kisses/pillows.. so a win win situation! 

[Two Ravens]

It is one thing to say, "Ooh you are beating me!"  and another to say, "How the heck do you keep winning!  I played for hours just to beat your score and you are still beating me!"  Almost accusing me of something.  Very bizarre.

I just defriended her.

Defriending her seems like a huge overreaction to me.  (Presuming it was just over this one comment).  I don't think her comment was "accusing" you of anything.  I have been known to post similar things.  Like "Finally beat Tom's high score!  Only took a hour!"  It is just good natured banter...

[MNdragonlady]

I used to play tetris a lot on Facebook and my score was always higher than my friends'...they'd jokingly complain about it and it was a lot of fun for all of us.

There's tetris on facebook?!?! Oh, man, now I'll be on there too much as well.

[Zilla]

She was very aggressive in her "competition" with me.  It wasn't friendly feeling toward me, it was almost anger.  Like I said it was bizarre.  And she was originally "referred" as a friend from another friend to get more neighbors in Cafe World.

One poster said it here perfectly, I play it to relax and not compete.  It doesn't bother me if someone beats my score in MindJolt etc.  And the fun banter where they post, "I beat so and so in this game" with a funny comment.

No this was very different and she was almost hostile.

[hobish]

She was competitive about a game? I'm sorry, but that isn't rude or hostile. Defriend her for whatever reason you like; but games are competitive in and of themselves, whether you play them for that reason or not. I think you are really overreacting.

[Akarui Kibuno]

Honestly, if the person's competition style borders on hostile when you just happen to progress faster... it's just too scary for me to think that the person should be kept on my friends list. I don't like agressive players. We're not here to win a worldwide tournament that brings in money or anything, we're on Facebook to do whatever we want with it.

If that kind of thing happened often I'd probably defriend the person.

I do have a friend who tried some of the apps I tried. He found some of his own (I just started one of those... couldn't help it ) and at some point or the other one was ahead of the other, but guess what, that's because I spend all day online while he goes to work.

The compromise is that sometimes I get on his account and do things for him, when it's really time sensitive (Café World, Kingdoms of Camelot, Castle Age...) . And I help him when he goes on vacation, and he does the same .

[Zilla]

She was competitive about a game? I'm sorry, but that isn't rude or hostile. Defriend her for whatever reason you like; but games are competitive in and of themselves, whether you play them for that reason or not. I think you are really overreacting.

As stated I don't mind a little ribbing but when it comes to numerous emails or IM's as to how did I get so many points and what was I doing and how was I beating her so much etc.  This is Farmville or Cafe World for crying out loud, it isn't a big deal.  She was just took it so personal that she was "losing" to me etc which threw me off.  If it is overreacting on my part, oh well.

[Deetee]

What she posted sounds pretty standard (actually pretty mild). It's just ribbing. Many people find it more fun to play if there is some competition.

I'd hate for you to see what my friends tell each other. It doesn't really mean anything. I mean, I don't actually want to eat the still beating heart of my best friend when she beats me at tetris and I'm pretty sure her fingers are not actually bleeding from the effort, nor will she literally burn down my house and raze my crops.

You are welcome to defriend her. It's just facebook, but I don't think she's the one whose taking it too seriously.

[Zilla]

Honestly, if the person's competition style borders on hostile when you just happen to progress faster... it's just too scary for me to think that the person should be kept on my friends list. I don't like agressive players. We're not here to win a worldwide tournament that brings in money or anything, we're on Facebook to do whatever we want with it.

If that kind of thing happened often I'd probably defriend the person.

 

You said it perfectly.  It is very bizarre to see that kind of focused agression toward a game.  I am more used to hey, how did you do that and you are beating me rather than what this person does. 

[hobish]

She was competitive about a game? I'm sorry, but that isn't rude or hostile. Defriend her for whatever reason you like; but games are competitive in and of themselves, whether you play them for that reason or not. I think you are really overreacting.

As stated I don't mind a little ribbing but when it comes to numerous emails or IM's as to how did I get so many points and what was I doing and how was I beating her so much etc.  This is Farmville or Cafe World for crying out loud, it isn't a big deal.  She was just took it so personal that she was "losing" to me etc which threw me off.  If it is overreacting on my part, oh well.

I just don't get how asking how you got so many points is so horribly personal.

Honestly, if the person's competition style borders on hostile when you just happen to progress faster... it's just too scary for me to think that the person should be kept on my friends list. I don't like agressive players. We're not here to win a worldwide tournament that brings in money or anything, we're on Facebook to do whatever we want with it.

... or scary. Really? Scary? Are you being sarcastic?

[Allyson]

Did you say to her you found it bothersome before defriending her? I think if you mentioned to her that you didn't like that sort of comments, and she kept doing it, then she was definitely rude! From what you posted she wrote, I don't see as hostile at all, but if there were other comments that were that would be weird.

Some people take things a bit too far and if they're  not checked, with a quick 'hey, this bothers me', they'll keep doing it. Because they wouldn't know that it bothered you, and that's the sort of thing that we can see from this thread *wouldn't* bother many people.

I say things to some of my friends that I'd never say to those who're more sensitive about certain issues, but if one of the ones I do joke around with that way ever said 'please cut it out', I absolutely would.