People that are new to facebook

[JaneJensen]

 I am thinking on signing up for facebook, but I have some questions first. How often is "expected" that someone interact on FB?? I'm the type that might log in once a week to see what's new. I don't think I care much about these farm games. I might post a picture or an occasional update. Do people expect that you post and reply on that wall every day?  Is that the "point" of FB, to chat everyday and comment on other people's posts every day or is it acceptable ( and not rude) for the occasional hello? 

Also, I have some very extended family that I might like to correspond with, but it's been years since we've talked. Is it weird to friend them, or do I wait until they friend me? 
Mainly, I don't want to be obnoxious and friend 15 people in one day, but how will people finally know I'm in facebook unless I friend them?

Any other tips you have would be good. I'm introverted to the max, so social networking can get scary for me.

[Surianne]

You can choose to be on as much as you like.  I have my notifications set up so that I'll get an email if someone sends me a message or posts on my wall--so I don't have to remember to actually check Facebook.  You could also post on your profile "I'm a casual Facebooker so please get in touch the old-fashioned way (email/phone) if you want a reply in a hurry!"

Definitely, friend who you like.  You're new and they don't know you're on Facebook yet, so it's expected.  One really nice thing is to send a personal note with a friend request.  "Hey, it's ____ from ____, I just joined Facebook--looking forward to catching up with you!" so they know you're actually interested, and not just friending them for numbers.

[MaggieB]

I think you will notice that there are people who seem to live on Facebook and those who only check in occasionally.  Neither way is rude, and I doubt anyone will think anything of you only corresponding occasionally.

As for your family, it would be just fine to send them a friend request.  Some people do prefer to keep their friends lists very small, but I think that most people would consider reconnecting with family and friends to be one of the primary uses for Facebook.  If they do not want to use it that way, they don't have to accept your request.

[sammycat]

The good thing about FB is that it's totally up to you as to how you use it.

I dip in and out of it.  Currently I am going through a 'phase' where I check it several times a day.  A month from now I may revert back to checking it once a week or fortnight; just depends on my mood.  I don't comment every day, and sometimes I just log on, check the news feed, click "I like" to a few things and then log off.  

It was very handy during my recent overseas trip as I was able to upload photos at night so that people could keep updated on my whereabouts, and it saved answering a dozen separate emails/questions as to how my trip was, can we see photos etc.

I have about 35 people on my list, and of those maybe 5 are hard core users, another 5-10 use it a few times a week and some have only been on once in the year since I joined.

I don't do the farm games either, but I have one friend whose entire wall is Farmville updates, with only the odd friend communication here and there.

As for friending people, I think I went and friended about a dozen people within the first hour of joining, otherwise they wouldn't have known I was on there.  I have my privacy settings set very high and don't even apepar on the 'everyone on FB' search, so normally the ball is in my court to do the friending.

[blarg314]

You can tailor your use to your own purposes, within reasonable limits.

For example, I only friend people I actually know (no friends of friends), and avoid friending current coworkers. I tend to check in a few times a week, and comment and update my status sporadically - I also upload pictures after trips or major events.  I hide all games results (Farmville etc) because I couldn't care less about them, and I ignore all game requests.

If you drop out of FB for long periods, or rarely post anything, then you may find people defriend you for lack of activity, when they go through an overly long friend list - don't take it personally.

[StressedGroom]

As previous posters said there is no real expectation as to how often you check facebook; you can set those expectations.  I have a friend who I know will respond faster to a message on facebook faster than e-mail. 

Definitely friend your extended family, I now know and have a relationship with some second cousins who I didn't know anything about before.  It is really nice.

Friend the people you are close too, you will be surprised how rapidly your friends will find you.  I honestly think that a couple of people in my high school class have the goal to friend every person in our class.

You will probably be asked by friends to join certain games, they will tell you that you don't have to play them, just join their clan/mob/group, etc.  Just ignore these.

[siamesecat2965]

You can tailor your use to your own purposes, within reasonable limits.

For example, I only friend people I actually know (no friends of friends), and avoid friending current coworkers. I tend to check in a few times a week, and comment and update my status sporadically - I also upload pictures after trips or major events.  I hide all games results (Farmville etc) because I couldn't care less about them, and I ignore all game requests.

POD - except I tend to check in more often.  I don't play any games, or take quizzes, or use any FB applications. I don't have time or interest, and I don't trust them.  Many of my friends will "send" me things on FB, and i generally block that particular application.  Some of my friends are worse than others when it comes to that, but no one has ever asked WHY I don't respond or reciprocate.

I have found some friends from HS and college, and reconnected with on of my close friends from HS, who I lost touch with - she actually lives about 20 minutes from my mom, so whenver I visit, we get together.  I also use it to keep in touch with my dad's side of the family, who are across the country, and its nice to be able to keep track of everyone in one place.  I wouldn't worry about how often you are on, etc etc etc - its your choice how and when you access FB.

[Deetee]

What ever you like. Some people check every few months, some people list every piece of laundry they fold, some people have accounts just to see pictures of grandkids.

Once you log on it makes more sense for you to friend whomever you like. I generally expect people who are new to do the friending.

[pierrotlunaire0]

Initially, I would check maybe once a week or less.

Then I connected with the games and a few people from high school, so I check in daily.  But there's no pressure to do anything beyond what you feel like doing.

[Tierrainney]

Another newby question about facebook. 

Is there a way to be on super secret mode?

I don't want clients to be able to find me.  But I have several relatives and friends who keep asking me to join facebook.  So is there a way to make your name unsearchable?

[siamesecat2965]

Another newby question about facebook. 

Is there a way to be on super secret mode?

I don't want clients to be able to find me.  But I have several relatives and friends who keep asking me to join facebook.  So is there a way to make your name unsearchable?

Yes, for the most part - and you can set your privacy settings so people both searching within FB and outside, i.e. google will not find you. 

Go to privacy settings, and choose "search" - under facebook search results shoose "friends" - i believe this will only allow people you are friends with on FB to find you in a search.  I don't think there is an option for no one to see you, but this is as close as it gets.

For "outside" searches, make sure the box "allow" is not checked.  this prevents anyone doing an internet search from finding you are on FB - one way to check is to do a google search for yourself.

[CrayonOutlines]

You might find this thread helpful: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=71378.0

[Jobiska]

Mainly, I don't want to be obnoxious and friend 15 people in one day, but how will people finally know I'm in facebook unless I friend them?

Facebook puts limits on how many friends you can ask for in one day--they will send you a warning message if you are adding too many.  Not sure how adding several when you start is obnoxious though--people expect others to add several people right at once when they start.

To answer your question:

They will see your name if you friend a mutual friend/relative;

They can find you if you've entered your high school and/or college and they go to search their year of that school (unless, like me, your high school no longer exists...FB has no way yet to list non-extant schools!);

if THEIR friend finder is working (mine does not--Facebook glitch), they can enter their email address and see whom among their contacts has recently joined FB, including you!

To tell you the truth, though, I'm usually quite flattered if someone that I know (even distantly) asks to be friends...if I see someone I know friending everyone but me, it makes me wonder!  I don't think it's obnoxious for you to ask (although I understand the introverted thing, believe me).

As you've probably gathered, there's no set amount of activity that is normal...true friends will start to get used to your pattern of activity.  I have friends who are always active, friends who are rarely active, and friends who cycle in and out of activity.