Okay - I have pulled out my Miss Manner's book.
She doesn't seem to addres the problem directly - but one letter I found is pretty direct. (quote follows - the book is Guide for the turn of the millennium)
Dear Miss Manners
My boyfriend and I have moved into an apartment together, and every time I set the table I give each of us a fork, spoon and knife. Well, my boyfriend has the idea that if we don't have a dessert, we don't need a spoon on the table. I tell him that it is the proper way of setting the table. This questions has a bet going, so please tell us who is right.
He is. Oh, dear. Miss Manners just hates to spread disharmony at the dinner table by taking sides, and is forced to do so only in the service of Truth in Etiquette. She hopes that the gentleman will be gracious in victory and take into consideration that you are disarmed, now that Miss Manners has taken your spoon away from you.
She also addresses restaurants, basically saying putting out all the silverware is pretentious, and a basic serving set should be provided then things added later as needed. The 'there is no excuse for this' came from the fact that in formal service the menu is planned and known in advance.
So there we go then